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Original poster

money saving tips

31 replies

emmylou157 · 03/02/2011 20:02

Hi,

I have been engaged for over a year and a half now and had dd 6 months ago. I really want to get married in the next couple of years, before we have another baby ideally but I just don't know how we can afford it. I just can't allow myself to spend a lot of money on a day when I could be saving it for dd's future.

Has anyone got any tips on how to reduce the cost of a wedding without reducing our enjoyment of the day.

Thanks

OP posts:
Kendodd · 03/02/2011 20:08

To be honest I think people focus far to much on the wedding and not enough on the marriage, it's the marriage that's important, the wedding is just one day.

But,

Buy your flowers at the supermarket.
Get friends/family to make the cake/ do the food/ make the dress/ take the pictures etc. You could ask for all this instead of wedding presents.
I have heard you can get wedding dresses at Asda.

whomovedmychocolate · 03/02/2011 20:10

I had silk flowers (I'm allergic, we weren't trying to economise), they looked great and didn't cost a lot.

Bugger the cake, M&S sell perfectly nice cakes and columns to make them into tiered cakes.

Ebay ebay ebay.

whomovedmychocolate · 03/02/2011 20:11

Get married in the register office which is prettiest - v cheap venue.

My DB got married at the registry office and then put £100 behind the bar of the coffee shop next door and they all had coffee and cakes as the 'reception' afterwards. It was brilliant. Much better than some grim pub back room with curled up sandwiches.

dickcheeseandthecrackers · 03/02/2011 20:12

Yes ask friends for help.
At my wedding, my MIL did the flowers for me (bought from cheap market for under £50), friend baked the cake as present, another friend did the photos, another lent lovely car. We also had a cocktail reception with finger food only. (no sit down buffet) Was great!

SleepWhenImDead · 03/02/2011 20:13

Definitely pull as many favours as you can from family and friends, as kendodd suggests - think about their skills and interests and play to these, who bakes well? Who can play music? etc.

The largest amount of money goes on venue, boose and food. We used the church hall at the back of the church we got married in and brought in our own caterer, at a cost of £10 a head. We bought the alcohol and there was no corkage fee. Didn't have a pudding, just had the cake. I'd get a second hand dress from ebay or something. We had well over 100 guests and spent roughly £5k, had a great day. It can be done!

Kendodd · 03/02/2011 20:14

Get married as late in the afternoon as possible.

Kendodd · 03/02/2011 20:15

I still think £5k is an awful lot, I think you can do it for a lot less.

LoveMyGirls · 03/02/2011 20:16

Ask friends and family to help out? Have a registry office wedding with a meal afterwards or a party at home?

It really depends on what you want, how many guests you want, what you would like to wear, if you want entertainment, what car you would like to have, flowers etc

For us I wanted it to be a day where we stood up infront of everyone we love and care about and declare our love and commitment to each other, I wanted to look stunning (usually found wearing jeans, trainers, jumper, hair messy, no make up, bitten nails.....) I wanted to look the best I could look for my husband but we also wanted ti to be very personal and local so our guests wouldn't have to spend loads of money on taxi's and hotels.

Family and friends offered to chip in towards things or pay for things as our present, our friend dj'd, other friends played in the band, my aunt did the flowers, dh parents paid for the honeymoon etc

Kendodd · 03/02/2011 20:16

Mid week as well, I think venues are cheaper.

whomovedmychocolate · 03/02/2011 21:10

Fridays are cheaper if you are doing a 'venue' wedding.

Takver · 03/02/2011 21:18

I'd agree with LoveMyGirls - it really depends what you want.

We got married in the registry office, had the reception at home - paid for a buffet & a barrel of beer, our ILs provided plenty of fizz as their present to us (bought on a trip to France). I had a new pretty summer dress rather than a 'wedding dress', DH had smart trousers & a nice waistcoat.

So - cost = minimal, result, one legally married couple and a nice party.

OK, so maybe that's not what people think of as a 'proper wedding' these days, but I guess it would have been the norm in our parents day. (Well, not the bought in buffet - but we felt it was the thing that made the day really easy for us)

ivykaty44 · 03/02/2011 21:36

think of the event as two families coming together, getting everyone involved

It is about two happy people and their children.

registry office and then a hall with food and wine

if you already have a house and contents why not do the wedding list as a buffet and everyone brings a dish and puddings and a bottle of wine.

stewmaker · 03/02/2011 21:40

go to the birmingham jewelry quarter for your rings......wholesale prices......

RMCW · 03/02/2011 21:49

my MIL made my 2 bridesmaids dresses.

my dress was inexpensive.

my cousin made my cake.

my aunt did the flowers.

my friend did my invites/orders of service.

got 2 limos for the price of 1.

only think we really spent money on was the meal/reception and photos but if I had my time again I would have a later wedding (3pm) and then have afternoon tea rather than hot meal and buffet.

ivykaty44 · 03/02/2011 21:57

this dress

second hand dresses that have been worn once and you can alter slightly and get bridesmaids dresses the same way

GraceK · 03/02/2011 22:02

Never buy a dress from a wedding dress shop - if you feel the urge for a classic dress get it off EBay or get a dress maker to make it. Use cheap fabric - acetate satin is just fine for what is basically a fancy dress costume you'll wear once - no need for silk.

Make the cake yourself & (if you have the freezer space) the buffet food. We fed 150 people by filling our & both sets of parents freezers. Waitrose 'hire' out glasses for free - you don't even have to buy your booze from them, though they do do sale or return & will chill it for you. A water butt full of Pimms goes a long way on a hot day.

Use your parents' friends younger kids as waiting staff - they were asked to turn up in white tops &'black bottoms and were allowed to drink themselves stupid at the evrning's disco as a payment.

Agree with previous posters - call in favours for cars, photographers, flowers, etc. Use a registry office or church rather than hire a registered wedding venue.

Print your own invites. Have a fun day

ivykaty44 · 03/02/2011 22:09

Sainsbury and tesco also hire glasses - and champagne glasses.

In the summer my dd1 was 18 and I did a buffett and asked the fishmonger to poach the salmon as he is good at it and has the kettle and placed on a silver platter which I took back after.

i brought glass salad bowls from ikea for 1.99 and filled with bean, pasta, potato and c homemade coleslaw salads. Two of each and two mozzand tomato salad. I did a large ham for the cold meat and someone I knew did three large quich

We have a local Indian sweet shop adn they make fresh samosa and onion baji - they went like hot cakes and where far cheaper than sainsbury.

i have decided as my dd2 is a winter baby if she has an 18th I shall jsut order all the food from the India sweet shop and have a couple of bain maries to have a hot buffeet - two curries and two rice and platters of samosa and baji

remember it isn't the last meal they are goign to eat.

Keep it simple and it will be far better than posh, and far better atmosphere

nancythenaughtyfairy · 03/02/2011 22:11

I love the coffee shop idea, Whomoved!

nancythenaughtyfairy · 03/02/2011 22:17

At a recent wedding we went to to, the bride and mum had been to evening classes to learn flower-arranging, so they could do all the flowers themselves - they were fab.

ojbsmum · 03/02/2011 22:20

We got married in a very pretty registry office with about 15 friends and family. Then went to the pub down the road - beautiful old timbered building- for lunch (pre ordered starters and mains, money behind bar for first drinks)
Finally back to my mum's for garden party for afternoon. She and her friends did food, cake (cup cakes, yummy!), decorations. we bought booze at cash and carry, and lots of penny sweets in ikea jars- people are still talking about it! We had no disco, but giant jenga, darts, skittles, wii games and lots of fun was had by all.
Had originally thought of using a beautiful local hotel. In the end our whole wedding (including first night in flash hotel and week's honeymoon) was less than their food bill would have been...
Very non-traditional, cheap but very cheerful!!

Icoulddoitbetter · 03/02/2011 22:21

My DH's wedding ring was £28 from the internet. It's titanium and I love it, it's a really nice dull silvery colour.

raspberrytipple · 04/02/2011 15:03

We are getting married at a Registry Office at 3.30 p.m. We aren't doing the sit down four course meal jobbie, just having everyone back to a local venue for canapes and fizz which we are paying for and putting some money behind the bar then having a buffet at 7 for everyone including the evening guests. The bar will be a pay bar for the evening. DJ comes with the venue and we can go in the morning and decorate it all we like or we can pay them £150 and they will do it. I am insisting on having my hair/makeup done by someone at home. Got my dress from a wedding dress shop - end of line and in the sale plus a little bit of bartering and I've got the fittings thrown in for free (usually £60-£70!).

What with buying invitations, groom suit, cake (mum is buying for us), flowers (only having my bouquet), shoes are being my something borrowed from a friend who is married, we are not having wedding cars or bridesmaids (can't honestly see the point but that's just me) - it all comes to around £3500 and I thought that was more than enough.

It may be worth asking around some local pubs or clubs if they offer rooms, some places let their function room for free as long as you use their bar for the party as they know it will be worth their while.

Always ask around, ask everyone - everyone who is married will enjoy chatting to you about their big day, what they did to make it special and how you can cut corners. You'll be amazed how skilled some of your friends are. I got an amazing deal on a photographer as I happened to mention I was struggling to afford it and they offered their partner who is a wedding photographer -for half the price!

Try not to get swept into the 'you must do this/that/the other' it is your day so do it how you want to. Only invite people that you want there. I've already had the 'oh but why cant great aunty doris who we haven't seen for 25 years not come, she'll be so disappointed' conversation with my mother. Great Aunty Doris is probably dead so I really cant be arsed to invte her (and believe me this conversation has happened in my family - my mum and nan fell out for three years over it when my uncle got married - and 'aunty doris' was actually dead!!!)

Good luck and have fun planning/enjoying it!

Jenda · 11/02/2011 01:14

My mum had a lovely wedding last year. She got married in a hotel which was on a high street but beautiful inside. Already there so no need for cars. Spent about £150 on outfit, hired suits for Stepdad and Best man. Had an evening reception so there was no milling around and entertaining bored people and then did a buffet and a disco which sounds a bit tacky but was great fun. It was done really simply and everyone commented on what an emotional and romantic evening it was... which is what its all about really! They also paid rooms for my gran and my 3 sisters and stepsisters.. and spent about 2.5k Admittedly they did call in favours from friends with cake etc but I think it can be done. Also got married in feb so not peak rates.

P.S Would have been more pricey but hotel forgot to charge them for meal for 40 people the night before!!!

ramblingroses · 16/02/2011 10:48

Hi, I've been taking photographs for years but want to start getting some practise at weddings. Do you think that people trying to save money would consider using someone with very little wedding experience in return for a dramatically reduced fee - perhaps £150 for all shots on a CD + extra for editing if asked for? Naturally I would email them examples of my photography so they would be happy that I was talented.

Is this something you would do?

One other thing I considered was standing outside a registry office and politely approaching wedding parties arriving, and if they haven't arranged a photographer, asking them if they would like six 6x4 shots taken for £30 or something, (they wouldn't have to pay if they didn't like them). If they really liked one or two they may want some larger copies etc.

Are these ideas that you think might be popular?

I live Manchester/Cheshire.

tigermummy35 · 19/02/2011 12:44

Ebay is a great source of well, just about everything.

We made our own:
Table centres (bought glasswear from Ikea and arranged flowers ourselves) (£6 each for the bowls, 50p each for candle, gel granules and gerbera heads £25)
Invitations (£45)
Table names and place markers (free, I did them at work!)
Favours (home made cookies in cellophane bags, with fancy ribbon - ebay for those!)
I bought my veil online, paid about £30 instead of £75 at bridal shop
Hired the underskirt hoop (£15 to hire, £80 to buy)
Tiara and jewellery bought online (made to my specifications) 1/3 price of bridal shop.
Cake toppers - ebay £55 pair.
Hope this helps!

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