Might have to change all our plans and bring the wedding forward

[DingDongMerrilyAsCheese]

I'm in a bit of flap about it.

Could use a little handhold to say whatever we do (and it's very unlikely we could have the same arrangements) we are going to have the loveliest day.

I feel really selfish for panicking about it under the circumstances, but DP's dad is very ill and we would rather bring the wedding forward. DP and I said well if we're going to bring it forward we have to do it 'properly' and make it a lovely day rather than some kind of rush that feels like a huge compromise as his Dad would hate us doing that (and I mean that, his Dad is about the nicest person in the world - that's where DP gets it from!)

It took me 4 months to get to grips with the first lot of plans and make decisions and I'm nervous I'll bollocks this up trying to do it in a rush.

rambling a bit I know. But it's been a bit of an odd weekend and this is the first time I've been alone with my thoughts.

Thanks, and thanks for being kind, I feel like it should be the least of my worries but when he told us on Saturday he specifically said he would make it to the wedding - he very much wants to see us married.

I've not paid any deposits on anything so that's a blessing I guess, but we were having a marquee and I don't know if that will still work if we need to go to April from July - might be too cold!

My other slight problem is that we went for a marquee because there is really only one hotel around here that accomodates 100 people. But on the other hand I would have less to worry about arranging if we went there.

We've done save the date stuff but I guess people will understand if we have to slim the guest list down?

thanks again.

I was thinking hotel would make life eaiser for the whole of DP's family, they can get here, camp out and it will all be less stressful. At this rate we'll be doing the wedding before the Church marriage Course!

Already got my dress - in one of those classic, 'im just going to look at dresses, I'm not buying on' sessions with my Mum and sister where of course we found the perfect dress.

Am going to call them and make sure it can be ready early.

Relax. I was in a similar situation, brought it forward by 8 months leaving me 4 months to organise a huge wedding. We had a big party on the original date (were going for an outdoor do anyway) so a smaller (100 people rather than 250) earlier wedding was a bonus.

See what you can move, call up your dressmaker and ask them to rush your order (depending when you ordered it should be possible as all the spring/summer ones tend to come at once), talk to the church but beware when in April as it might be Lent and some won't do weddings then or will have restrictions on flowers etc and find a photographer.

Invitations out now to give people as much notice as possible. You need at least week for printing/addressing and posting, a month to get replies in. I know a fab company who can rush things a bit if necessary.

So your priorities are church, venue, invitations, dress, photographer. Do you need any help researching things? I love doing wedding research although it was hideously stressful when it was mine! Don't be afraid to call in any favours either and delegate.

Ok, thanks.

Right, he's back at the oncologists on Thursday so will have a clearer idea about timings then. Can't 'do' anything until that point - apart from check out my dress.

We know we want to move it if we're talking months for his Dad but until the end of the week we won't know (I think that's what we're talking as it's cancer which has just moved to his lymphatic system) that's why I want my head straight before we talk to his Mum and Dad about it because it needs to be presented to them as 'this is what we're doing' and it's no problem if that makes sense.

Thanks so much for helping this morning. I'll no doubt be back!

Everyone will understand and they will do whatever they can to help you. In circumstances such as these you see the very best in people. In a strange way, it may actually be easier to organise it this way. Wishing you the best news possible on Thursday.

thanks Justabit.

I don't know what the best possible news is to be honest. Is it - you can have 3 years with lots of treatment and hard work or it's going to be quick?

Thanks again.

You're right. I don't know either. Perhaps it was a stupid thing to say but genuinely meant. Wishing you well.

Are you having a church wedding? If so I'd speak to the Vicar, just to give him warning (and hopefully get his/her support).

I really hope it goes well, and is the special day you want.

Justabit - Godd, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound snappy or that it was a stupid thing to say - sorry! I just really don't know what to think at the moment. We've been floored by the news and there is just no good outcome. I'm a pretty upbeat person but at the moment I've got nothing, and nothing wise or helpful for my lovely DP either.

Mummytime and Maryz, thank you as well. Our Vicar is pretty good and I'm sure he will do anything to help - we added DP's Dad to the prayer list so he knows what's going on. Fortunately as we live in a sleepy village the Church doesn't get too busy!

ok, so local hotel could fit us in on several dates in April and it's quite nice. they said don't panic, give us a call when you need to and we will sort out whateve ryou want.

I'm sure Church won't be a problem. Just waiting to find out if my dress can be ready.

I bloody love living in Derbyshire where people bend over backwards to help!

I feel much better already.

Thanks again everyone

So glad church and hotel are looking positive for you. Will be keeping fingers crossed and thinking of you.

That's very sad news MAC! I am sure people wouldn't be offended if you need to scale things back a bit or even a lot - under the circumstances.

Thank you.

Dress is being delivered on Friday as well so I'll bo ok with that.

Less of a stress than I figured, so far anyway.

DingDong. Don't worry! I know you didn't mean that.
Keep posting and telling us how things are.

Porto - you better still be on for a trip to Blighty, think I'll be relying on you being there as offical mn rep!

The hotel have been really lovely and despite what the website says they can take the number of people we want - wish I'd known that before. So we might decamp there anyway as whatever is going on I think DP's family will be more comfortable in a hotel than a marquee.

BTW Porto, there's nothing on fb about it - I'm friended with lots of DP's friends (good for stalking him and mkaing sure he behaves :) )and he hasn't told them about it yet.

OK - my lips are sealed.

I have another UK wedding in June too - better start my diet.....

Let me know when you have planned a new date!

Will do but will probably be a week or two before we know.

Namedchanged in the middle of this for reasons known only to myself.

Then posted a new thread but realised no one will know the update is from me....Doh!

Anyway - now LizaTarbuksAuntie and we've decided to go ahead with our orginal plan.

So back to the marquee and no need to panic just yet - we hope.