Readings for a second marriage

[VivClicquot]

Help! I've been asked to do a reading at my Uncle's second marriage in the autumn - the choice of reading is totally up to me and they don't want to see it beforehand as they want it to be a surprise.

In terms of their backgrounds, he left his ex-wife after 20 or so years of marriage after he discovered she'd been having an affair and also cheating him out of money.

His wife-to-be is a widow, whose husband died three or four years ago.

So what kind of readings would be suitable in this instance?

Obviously I don't want anything too slushy, but I wasn't sure whether to read something that reflected the fact that this is second time around for both of them?

Re your last sentence - I wouldn't. I suspect most people don't want anything at their second wedding that obviously refers to the fact it's second time round - they want to feel it's all new iyswim.

On the other hand, obviously you can't use anything that refers to first love or only love or anything like that, since they've had previous long marriages.

Hmm tricky. There are quite a lot of light hearted ones that could be suitable - see poems by Pam Ayres ("He never leaves the seat up") or Wendy Cope ("Valentine") for example. Would they be keen on that sort of thing?

Oh and you may need to clear the reading with the vicar/registrar so worth asking for their contact details.

Thanks minipie. That's the dilemma - finding the right balance between it reflecting their new love, but the fact that they've had extremely long relationships in the past.

I've been given the vicar's details and I need to send a copy of the chosen reading in the post to him, so definitely need his clearance.

There's a lovely one called 'Maybe' which would work, but I had it at my wedding so don't want to recycle it!

do you have to do a secular/personal reading?

your mention of a vicar implies church wedding - i would be inclined to choose a bible reading instead.

what's maybe like?

or how about:

Blessing of the Apaches
Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other
Now you will feel no cold for each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now you will feel no loneliness for each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two persons but there is only one life before you.
May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years.
May happiness be your companion and your days together be good
and long upon the earth.

nickelbabe - that is lovely. What is the source?

Ha, Nickle - I love that one too, but it was read at my sister's wedding so that's out! (Typical, we snaffled all the good ones!)

I can absolutely choose a reading from the bible if I wish - but want to steer clear from something that is popular (eg Corinthians) in case either had them at their first wedding. Hence why I thought I'd play safe with some more modern ones? (Given both first marriages were 20-odd years ago)

Actually, I've just gone back and re-read Maybe and there's a line in there which might be a little sensitive re. her former husband, so a good job we can't use that one either really...

Maybe we are supposed to meet the wrong people before we meet the right one, so when they finally arrive we are truly grateful for the gift we have been given.

Maybe its true that we don't know what we have lost until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we're missing until it arrives.

Maybe the happiest of people don't have the best of everything, but make the best of everything that comes their way.

Maybe the best kind of love is the kind where you sit on the sofa together, not saying a word, and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.

Maybe once in a lifetime you find someone who not only touches your heart but also your soul, someone who loves you for who you are and not what you could be.

Maybe the art of true love is not about finding the perfect person, but about seeing an imperfect person perfectly.

Holly, I found it on google

it's listed as "anonymous"

Viv - i think you're right - it does seem to say "ooh, you chose badly before..."

How about this one?

?The Promise?, by Heather Berry

?Within this blessed union of souls, where two hearts intertwine to become one, there lies a promise. Perfectly born, divinely created, and intimately shared, it is a place where the hope and majesty of beginnings reside. Where all things are made possible by the astounding love shared by two spirits. As you hold each other?s hands in this promise, and eagerly look into the future in each other?s eyes, may your unconditional love and devotion take you to places were you?ve both only dreamed. Where you?ll dwell for a lifetime of happiness, sheltered in the warmth of each other?s arms.?

There are a few nice ones on the site I found that...www.chicagomarriage.com/romantic_readings.htm#Ackerman