reassure me or give me good info abt continuing...

[bebemoohatessnot]

trying to drop the last bf
it's the night feed; she's crying bloody murder, it's cutting through me...I know it's hormones too, but?

persevere?
or
continue feeding?

Do they really stop feeding on their own?

we're also ttc dc2...

How old is your child/baby? Mine continued til she was about 2.5 years and I decided I'd had enough, but it was relatively easy to stop - I could distract/explain and it was ok - we gradually stopped - she was down to one or two feeds a day and some some days we bf and some days we didn't until there were no more. I don't really remember 'the last feed'. But she did ask again a few weeks later and I allowed it and it was nice for us both, but didn't become a regular thing again.

14m she's been down to 1 min per side and we thought it was a good time.
I really want to feed her she seems so miserable. Dh says to stay firm...

i would feed her.

no reason why you shouldn't ttc/conceive/go through pregnancy/have baby whilst still feeding your other child!

have had 2 very early 5week mc since ttc (we were wondering if it was the bf as we've heard this is likely)

My DD1 (now 22 months) stopped herself when I was pregnant with DD2 - I got to 28ish weeks (she was 17months) and she had a feed, unlatched said 'It's empty, cuppa milk please' and that was that. I was devastated and creid for days. She wasn't fussed and I did leave it open to her and she asked a couple of times and then never asked again!

so short responses; hard to concentrate as I'm weepy

They do stop on their own - no telling when though, but I'm no expert regarding whether it would affect your ttc.

I had a few m/c before DD1 was conceived by fertility treatment. When I unexpectedly fell PG with DD2 I asked about carrying on BF and my consultant said there was no reason to deprive DD of her comfort and milk as there is no proven link between BF and m/c and even with my history if a m/c was going to happen it would BF or not.

afaik breastfeeding does not cause miscarriage

have a look here for some more info. generally very well referenced so you should be able to read other sources of info

yeah. just not sure. so uncertain abt all the info abt ttc and bf

seems like many people say they do stop, but just not sure what is best for dd. Do think it's mostly comfort so not needed on 'food' level, but surely security is something? But should you stop before they can remember? just dun't know

i would say comfort is as important/more important than food to be honest with you, and I would continue to feed and wait to TTC if you're very worried

I honestly think that your miscarriages are nothing to do with the feeding though.

one thing to consider... if you stopped, became pregnant, and then miscarried again how would you feel?

And it's so hard when people go 'you're still feeding?' I don't think it's weird or anything. But so many do don't they? So many /judgemental people when it comes to child rearing.
Makes it hard to know what's really for the best.

My DD can still remember and curiously asked to feed a few days ago (having not done it for months) - but it didn't feel weird, if anything I felt a little sad refusing her.
There's been a huge thread on MN about extended feeding but having done it, and not being a hardcore bf supporter previously, all I can say is, is was the right thing for us and I don't regret it.
BF your baby, or not, as it suits you both. Good luck with the ttc too.

She's stopped screaming now so I'm a little calmer... She was so very upset with me.

Dh really thinks we should not feed any more.

It did feel like the right time to stop (yesterday). But if it's going to cause trauma is it really the time to stop?!? There is no harm in continuing feeding them is there?

no, there is no harm in continuing. in fact the World Health Organisation recommends feeding until the child is at least 2 years old

maybe your husband is focussing too much on trying to conceive, and forgetting a bit about the fact that you have one very small little girl who still wants/needs milk from her mummy?

Dh might well be. I'll need to find him some info. (He's very scientific) Part of my problem is I'm really vacillating myself.
I really want to do what is best. I suspect that's continuing (tbh) but DH says that he's very concerned about her being 'addicted' and not ever wanting to stop. (He says he'd never have stopped/been able to give up something he enjoyed so much).

But am I just looking for an excuse because I'm hormonal?

well i don't know about you, but i don't know any adults who still breastfeed, so i guess they all stop at some point

she will stop by herself. my ds2 stopped when I was pregnant with ds3 and my milk supply went.

natural term breastfeeding is a lovely thing, but it does have to be mutually enjoyable, so if you are ready to stop that's ok too

there's lots of info on ways to wean on www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/index.htmlkellymom (again, sorry!) if you do want to go down that route. There may be options that are easier on you both than just going cold turkey?

I am still bfing my 21 month old to sleep and I am 6 months pregnant.
She is a nightmare to get to sleep and I feed to sleep about 75% of the time. I had bween saying for some time now that I need to stop but am now deciding to leave it up to her.

Can your DH put her to sleep?
My DP has never put her to sleep and feigns ignorance about the whole routine(lazy sod). He did ask me to give up before she got too old and 'addicted' but never helped me to settle her.
I'm not suggesting your DH is like that but he can play an important part in helping her and you settle.

I know what you mean hormones made me really stroppy when about 3 months pregnant and I dreaded feeding. Happily we are over that hump now.

Bebemoo, I don't think breastfeeding is a risk factor in pregnancy (although can't check in my Jack Newman book to be certain right now because my next door neighbour has it). I know several people who've carried on nursing right through their pregnancy, then tandem nursed their older child and the baby. I myself nursed during the early part of my mum's pregnancy with my sister, then self weaned (apparently this is quite common, as the milk can taste different). If you still want to feed your DD, and your DD still wants to feed, that's all that matters. You won't be causing problems by continuing. She won't be addicted, by the way. She will grow out of needing and wanting to breastfeed. All babies do.

Good point abt the other adults ;) Just that 'one guy' on tv who wants titty but not sure abt him
(thanks for making me smile)

I offered her a bottle of milk and she just tossed it a side and did her 'more' sign and pulled on my shirt and cuddled into my breasts. I tried cuddling with her while she had her bottle. She calmed down some and took the bottle. But then she started crying horribly again and when dh came in went screaming to him and 'told' on me.

I will re-read the kelly site and have dh read it too. he might have some ideas, though he's only home to help on the weekends so it'll be me implementing things regardless.

Bebe, my love, I have only just spotted this.

I see you have had some good advice. Just wanted to add that I had no trouble at all conceiving H whilst still feeding E.

E, however, did not drop her night feeds until shortly before she turned two.

Good luck with whatever you decide. I shall be nipping over to our thread as soon as I get a chance.

Thanks Puzzle.

We've gone back to feeding at night. She's been very clingy and whiny. It could be a number of things of course. But I just couldn't deal with the crying for hours every night.
When we went back to feeding.
I said to her, 'do you want Mummy milk?'
'yah' (she did the sign for 'more')
'will you go to sleep please if I give you some?'
'yah' She waved her hands excitedly and laid down on the bed for milk.
We fed; it was nice; she went straight to sleep after.