how do you know when to start giving finger foods and mashed instead of pureed??

[monsterkeeper]

i can honestly say i hate this weaning business!!!no-one helps.my HV is pure rubbish and my family dont really know what to say to help.(except my inlaws-which are more than happy to tell me what im doing wrong and how dh's ex did this and this and this with their dd!!!)i never know if im giving the right amount and variation and should i be mashing my ds food now?when i mentioned to dh about trying his with baby carrott to see if he's ready his reply was "who comes up with this crap he'll choke"
i am a first time mum desperately need 2 chill out i know but find myself awake at night thinking bout his food and what to give him. he's 28weeks and have been giving him solids since 16weeks so were well into established feeding.also have just cut out his anoon bottle and giving him lunch. here's a typical day:
830- porridge and 9oz milk
12-chicken dinner pureed & 8oz
1600-spag bol pureed&yog or fruit puree
1900-9oz milk

any advice please im desperate! (though now ive written this out i feel a bit better)

I started giving finger foods at 6 months. My lo's didnt like lumpy puree so I gave puree alongside finger foods and phased the puree out as they got better at feeding themselves. Anything can be finger food e.g. mashed potato, rice, etc. By the time ds was 9 months he was having sandwiches for lunch and a hot meal for dinner.

You could try toast, cooked veg, soft fruit, cooked pasta, strips of fish, chicken, etc

DS is 24 weeks and I mash now instead of puree. You can gradually do it if easier, cook your food quite softly and then just mash a lot at first then less as your ds adjusts to it.
I would definitely move away from purees now otherwise he'll not like textured food if all he has is smooth purees.

He won't choke, babies gag reflex is very strong and further forward in their mouths than adults. Designed to make sure he doesn't choke

Definitely move to finger foods and mash not purees now - the sooner after six months the better, otherwise they get more resistant to 'lumpy' food and the idea of feeding themselves. Don't worry about gagging - gagging is absolutely fine and part of the process of learning to move the food around their mouths. Choking is totally different and it's worth attending a baby first aid course to learn how to deal with it. Food that's soft shouldn't cause a problem (though obviously stay away from round slippery things like grapes!). The MN weaning page has some very good advice about baby led weaning and spoon weaning - we did a mixture.