really worried about baby refusing solids

[mollysmum82]

Hello, I'm having a lot of trouble getting solids into my baby and its realy worrying me. I just breastfed her for the first 6 months and then tried to start introducing solids. She's now nearly 7 months so we've been going for just over 3 weeks. I started off trying to give her pureed food (baby rice, pureed pear, apple, carrot, squash etc) but I didn't have much luck. I scraped it off the spoon against the roof of her mouth but she just stuck her tongue out, unsure of what to do. The food would eventually fall out. We were told to move quite quickly as we had waited for 6 months so I tried this 3 times a day and persisted for a few days. Eventually though she started clamping her mouth shut, turning her head away and crying every time I put the spoon anywhere near her. I tried mashed food instead (banana, avocado) and mashed versions of our normal healthy meals. I tried a variety of sweet and savoury food but nothing seemed to tempt her. She even started to get stressed as soon as she was put in her highchair, as if she had made a bad association. I have felt awful about this as I really don't want her to have issues with food.

I then read the book baby-led weaning which made me feel really excited and hopeful and I started to try finger foods instead. I completely stopped giving food from a spoon for a few days and just tried finger foods. She's not sitting up yet or reaching for my food but she would put a piece of finger food into her mouth if I put it in her hand first. The has happily gummed on carbohydrate finger food (toast, rusks, malt loaf) and protein (chicken breast fingers and quorn) but she finds fruit too slippery to hold and gets frustrated when she tries to eat it. (I've tried melon, banana, papaya and mango so far. I'm a bit scared to try citrus or berries yet as she has bad eczema) With veg, she puts it in her mouth for a second then flings it! I've tried broccoli, carrots, and sweet potato so far. So I'm worried the diet she is having is extremely unhealthy and to be honest even though she is gumming the protein and carbs I don't think a lot is going in.

So I started to panic about the lack of vitamins she was having and I tried mashed spoon food again, encorporating veg with the protein and carbohydates with our meals (e.g. mashed spag bol with lots of veg). I felt so guilty about doing this as the baby-led weaning book makes spoon feeding out to be evil! My daughter did actually take a spoon once and even swallowed (I was walking on air!) but she has since refused. To make things worse she's now refusing all finger foods too since trying the spoon again. She's just throwing them straight away and getting upset.

Each meal time I'm really jolly and smiley to try and make her see its fun. I've tried being really praising, saying "good girl!" in a high pitched voice every time something goes near her mouth. I've also tried not to make a big deal and just get on with my meal as she has hers. Neither of these seem to be working.

Have I started too early? Shall I break for a week or so and start again? Her weight is okay at the moment but I'm worried about iron levels. I'm still breastfeeding, should I try and do this more to compensate? Are there any finger veg/fruit foods I could try instead?

I've had such conflicting advice so far - I've heard food is just fun till they're 1 from some people but also that iron levels drop after 6 months. I really hope you can help. Thanks so much in advance.

First of all, stop worrying there is a saying that goes "food is fun until they're 1" all nutrients she can and will get from milk, be it bf or ff.
You will find that most people are waiting til 6 months to wean as that is the current guidlines on it so there really is no rush.
Personally, I would just offer a little bit of food when you are eating.
Vegetables taste better when they are roasted, it really sweetens the flavours so try red pepper, sweet potato, carrots, celery etc roasted.
With the more slippery fruits, can you cut little holes or ridges into them so grip is easier?

SilveryMoon's advice is good :-)
My DS loves the Organix baby rice cakes as finger food, and also likes grated cheese and cooked mixed veg (from frozen pack. Don't worry as it takes time and all babies develop at own pace.
However, I would be a wee bit worried that she seems to have tried a huge variety of foods very quickly - the problem with the latest DOH 6 month guidelines is that they recommend your baby goes through a rapid solids transition due to depleting iron levels, but don't give much advice about order of foods, how much etc. The nutritionist at my weaning workshop agreed that protein should not really be introduced until veg and carb well tolerated. Maybe the sudden introduction of foods is a bit overwhelming for her? Nutritionist also stated that iron levels do deplete, and whilst breast is best and food should be fun, is ideal to introduce baby to fibre and the essential vits and mins that solid food can provide.

I understand you being a bit concerned about her nutrient intake and maybe not just wanting to give finger foods all the time as is harder to keep track of what's being eaten. Have you tried baby rice mixed with apple or pear puree? I make my own - just peel and blend, don't need to cook at this stage. This was my DS' first food - I know your daughter older now and maybe past this stage but could be worth a try to get her interested. At least baby rice is fortified with iron.
Rather than breastfeeding more, you might want to think about how feeds are structured. My son gets a feed in the morning, followed by a few tsps of cereal. He has now dropped next feed, and has a good lunch (about 12 tsps of meals such as lentil/chicken casserole, water and yogurt with fruit), a feed in the afternoon, tea of rice/veg then a bedtime feed. Thus he only has 3 milk feeds now. He was very slow at first to eat, but now at just turned 7 mths he wolfs his lunch down, but is a bit more fussy at breakfast and tea. Have you tried yogurt with pureed/mashed fruit? DS goes mad for it, and at least you know contains calcium, protein etc.

I can empathise with your concerns and you sound a bit confused - to be expected I think with lack of/conflicting advice available. Another thing that might help is to look at some books on weaning - the Annabel Karmel one is quite good. At the risk of getting shot down in flames here, the best have read so far is Gina Ford's contented weaning guide - not about rigid routines, and you don't need to have a 'Gina Baby' or agree with her to find it useful - she just gives great advice about portion sizes, feeding problems and how/when to introduce foods. The recipes are really good too.
BTW, don't think you are evil for one minute for spoonfeeding your child - most mums than would be condemned on that premise!

Good luck, let us know how you get on :-)

I'd say give her a vitamin drop if you are really worried about the vits/iron etc since you are bfing... but as Silverymoon says, food is fun until they're one, so try to relax.
I know it is easier said than done. Just give her little bits to explore, I second the comment about cutting holes in things - works a treat with my dd - she loves pears but they are so slippery, so I cut rings for her and she holds them and munches through the other side.

Can I just ask who told you to 'move quite quickly as you waited for 6 months'? - I would take issue with that - it's the best thing for your baby to wait for 6 months.

Agree with Ready about vit drops if worried . I give my son one from Wassen called 'Wellkids' - has been well-researched, contains no peanut oil (unlike the Abidec ones that HVs sometimes give out), has iron and as a bonus, Omega 3. DS seems to like taste.

Meant to say cautionary note about quorn (not as a criticism as only found this out recently myself, so don't worry that you done something wrong). Was advised not to give 'till 8-9 mths as is very dense and fibre-rich, hence hard to digest and can upset little tummies. Was disappointed as we mainly eat quorn ourselves and i hate making his chicken dishes!! :-)

I can feel your pain. My DS refused all solids until he was about 9 months old. It was extremely frustrating.

Now that i'm weaning my DD, I can see that he just wasn't really ready as the difference in dexterity at 6 months is amazing, DS really struggled to pick up bits of banana, whereas DD at 6 months had it in her mouth straightaway.

If you're worried about vitamins get a supplement. I never bothered and DS was fine on breastmilk.

The best thing to do is relax and keep trying giving her a bit of what you are having, but don't push it, she will get there eventually.

BLW is great, but spoons are not evil, at some point you will want to give them yoghurt and soup, what are you going to do then if not use a spoon?

Seriously I would relax and not worry (easy to say, I know)

My DS was spectacularly uninterested in food up until he was about 8 months. He just liked his milk. Like you, we tried spoon feeding and finger foods and the food would go in and come straight back out of his mouth.

You have only been at it 3 weeks so she's not even 7 months yet? I bet you will see big changes in the next little while.

In your position I would leave it completely for a few days and take the pressure off both of you.

I would echo what others have said about the advice to "hurry it up" because you have waited 6 months. That sounds like nonsense to me.

You say you're baby would eat carbs and protein finger foods? That is great - continue doing that - if she eats it great, if not then chill. I think you are getting too anxious about imposing what your idea of a healthy diet is and she is picking up on your anxiety. She gets that it's a big deal to you and it's stressing her. If she is gumming bread and meat, she is getting some iron - both are good iron sources and chewing it will bring it out. Spread some veg puree or jam on the bread, ricecakes or meat if that worries you but seriously, it shouldn't at this stage - all the vits and minerals she needs are in your breast milk and in that bit of bread and meat. Also if she isn't sitting on her own yet, she might find mealtimes in the highchair uncomfortable.

If she has eczema then maybe you should get her checked out for food allergies - she may have a genuine aversion to some things.

Disclaimer: my kid ate chocolate buttons, an orange and half a breadstick for lunch so wtf do I know?!

loueden, really good posts.

I wondered about the variety of foods mentioned by OP too - maybe a bit overwhelming?

My DC had an extremely boring diet for the first few weeks, probably only about 4 different combinations of something + baby rice.

your GRR

Second what everyone else said about 'hurrying it up'. That is BS. It's not a race.

have just skim read the other replies but just wanted to let you know that DD2 just let the food sit in her mouth then either gagged or let it drop out until about 3 days ago! She now eats some finger food, and eats cream cheese, hummus & avocado off a carrot stick (those organix snacks that look like cheesy wotsits , and for the first time today she opened her mouth for me to put a spoon of food in!

If you want her to have fruit & veg, why not try dipping toast/rice cakes in some puree?

DD1 was a terrible eater & lost loads of weight, we were referred to a dietician etc etc and I used to dread each meal time. If I knew then what I know now I wouldn't have worried so much - she eats everything now and as lots of people said to me, she grew out of it. So with DD2, I am not getting stressed at all. Please try not to worry, I am sure she will eat when she's good and ready, I wouldn't force the issue. If she's become stressed about being in the highchair, maybe let her sit on your lap and eat some stuff off your plate (wear an apron!)

sorry, forgot to say, DD is 8 months so it took 2 months until she started eating

Aw thanks loads for your replies everyone, you've cheered me up and given me lots of good tips! I think I've had a spell of worrying lately, I can't believe how much I've posted! Its great to get some reassurance on here!

Good idea about the vitamin drops - I've got some A/D/C from the HV but I might get some in with iron too. As you say my b-milk is probably enough but I guess extra drops can't hurt!

I did try the whole pear puree+baby rice thing but it was completely refused! I think its the spoon itself rather than what's on it!

I was all ready to give up for a while and let her "show" me when she was ready when I had a breakthrough!!! I was (greedily) eating a piece of bread in between meals whilst walking dd around and she grabbed it off me and started gumming it! (and I dare say swallowing it!) I got so excited that she might be hungry that I put all sort outs on a plate (tangerine, apple, ham pieces, bread!) and sat her on my lap. She couldn't get enough of it! She kept grabbing at things on the plate, shoving them in her mouth... I was amazed!

I don't know what on earth I was doing wrong the first time...maybe it was the pressure of the high chair or the times I was trying? Anyway I'm definitely relieved! (It will probably never happen again now! lol)

Thanks for the caution about variety and protein comments - it wasn't something I'd considered as I'd read in baby-led weaning you just give them whatever you have? (as long as its healthy) and I'd also heard what remotecontroller said about the iron in gummed meat (thanks for that rc!) But its something to think about if we don't make further progress thank you.

Thanks also for tip on quorn!

I'll keep you posted - cheers everyone x

Hi, Im concerned that my daugther won't accept soilds anymore, she is now 7months and has been sick but is now better but she is refusing solids. she was weaned successfully at 5 months but since being sick she has been refusing solids. im really worried as she is due to start nursery soon and wont take anything except breast milk from the breast. any tips on what i can do, i have tried weaning the way i did previously but im having no joy.

Glad you've made progress mollysmum

In the blw book it does say not to offer food when they are starving, so give breast first. Could this help in your case?

LishLish- Might be worth doing a separate/new thread.

I think you might get more replies that way.

DD doesn't really accept solids either (7.5 months) but we did load up a bit of celery with some fruit puree (from a jar...eek!) the other day and she loved it. She doesn't really swallow much but the celery was a good way to get her to lick stuff. She loves fruit flavours so we're sticking to those at the mo. Plus the celery is quite easy for her to hold.