Why not wean at 4 months?

[sunnyflower75]

As a first time parent I'm finding it very difficult to deal with well meaning advice from an older relative.
I have a 15 week old baby and am keen to exclusively breast feed and not begin introducing solid foods until 6 months.
I would greatly appreciate ideas on how to answer a relative pressuring me to introduce solids at 4 months.

There are masses and masses of threads on this. But I expect that all the people with strong views on the subject will be along shortly to tell you exactly why anything but milk befor six months is child abuse. Yawn.

Just say that the guidance now is six months so you are planning to wait until then.

I second that yawn muttonchops.
OP - have a look at the lists of weaning threads for info to present to your interfering relatives or read some literature about it yourself and then you'll be able to back up any discussions you have with them.
Am a bit at relative putting pressure on you to start weaning early - why would a relative put pressure on someone to wean early?

Do what you like. Time to start practising the art of distraction (i.e laugh and change subject) as you will need it for many years to come. But all I suggest is don't have your heart set on six months, many find their babies simply cannot wait till then. It would have been child abuse had I waited till six months - at the first opportunity (at five months) my exceedingly hungry (waking all night long) grabbed a spoon from me and stuffed it in his mouth. He had had enough and wanted to eat. There are several foods that are great for young babies.

Here's my new simple answer for people my MIL.

Why would I start giving my boy food when he doesn't need it? The risk of causing him harm may be small, but there is no benefit to weaning him early, so it just seems pointless. The fact that he is bright, active and growing like a weed seems to tell me he's fine with just milk. (he is ebf too).

He is only 21 weeks and I am just going to wait till he seems ready. This may be 26 weeks or not. He seems to be losing his tongue thrust reflex, but his coordination for picking things up is still not great. He can't sit up straight in a high chair that well (he's had a wee go of watching us at table height!) so he maybe needs to get a bit stronger.

I haven't tried the small risk vs no benefit argument on my MIL yet, but it seems logical to me.

I really don't see the need to engage in any kind of discussion or need to provide evidence for your decision to follow government guidelines tbh.

A friend of my MIL asked DH whether we were weaning DS2 yet. He is 3mo. DH said no, because the guidelines are 6mo so we are planning to wait until then. Discussion ended. Just say that you are planning to follow the guidelines and leave it at that.

Flowery - some people MILs don't believe in the government guidelines as that wasn't the way it was in their day...

Guidelines are there to be ignored it seems.

I just tell people that I can't be arsed faffing about with baby rice and purees so I am waiting until dd2 is old enough to go straight to finger food (which is true) and that at 21 weeks dd2 is doing fine on milk alone and doesn't need anything else yet

Also that current advice is to wait until 26 weeks

If my Mum or MIL were to question that I would politely point out that the advice they were given is now 30/40 years out of date

Oh I agree, but it's a good reason even if they disagree with it, and it's nice and easy to repeat politely and firmly I find.

Mind you, to be fair, my own MIL is very supportive - having seen how well BLW went with DS1 at 25 weeks, she is fine about it.

Most of the people I know who weaned early did so because of pressure from relatives

OP - I just say more is now known about the relation between the gut and the immune system, so to be on the safe side you're waiting until 6 months. That s/he probably wouldn't get any allergies but you don't see the point in raking the risk...

I do feel sorry for MILS and our own mothers! They do like to give a lot of unwanted advice...a lot of it out of date! lol!

I weaned my ds1 when he was six months old, he was so ready for it by then....I will also be doing the same with my 13 week old DD. I remember being scaremongered by my HV into not weaning my son until six months because it could potentially give him digestive problems in adulthood! I BLW my son and now at 2.5 years old he loves just about any sort of food I present to him! As a second time parent now I am much more cofident in my own judgment - my DD doesn't seem to take a lot of milk so I doubt she'll be ready for weaning before six months anyway. Just be firm with your relative...it's non of their concern when you decide to wean your baby!

You don't have to justify yourself. Just a firm 'I'm waiting' will do.

But yes, the simplest thing you can respond with is that there's absolutely no benefit to weaning early but there is a small risk. Milk's perfectly adequate for 6 months and why risk it?

Just say the advice has changed and you appreciate their input but you'd rather go with the more up to date research.

It gets difficult when they start waking in the night and/or slowing weight gain and then the relatives etc feel they are "justified" in pushing their advice when you still don't want it! You could always lie in about a month or two's time (and still say you are starting very slowly) if you don't think they are likely to take that as an invite to start feeding them all sorts of rubbish themselves!

I did the same as Tigerfeet. Told people that I didn't have a blender, couldn't be bothered with mashing things, and wanted to go straight to finger foods.

My MIl and mother both made exactly the same face when I told them about the guidelines having changed, gut maturity etc etc.

Making it into a personal decision just seemed easier and people were less inclined to disagree.

same as tigerfeet - can't be arsed with all that blending business, and when DS can stuff food in that hungry little mouth i am sure he will. he can't even sit up on his own yet so????? (22 weeks ebf)

like pogger said, you could harp on about benefits/risks but you will probably just get a .

I just said to PIL (and parents) that the current guidelines on the NHS website are to exclusively breastfeed until 6 months (didn't mention formula as they'd also love DD to be on a bottle). End of

We also said (as have others on here) that I don't want the hassle of pureeing foods and that she can go straight onto finger foods from 6 months. Also similar reason for still BFing (can't be arsed with a steriliser etc). Generally I'm quite lazy!

Because I was getting sick of well meaning but wrong advice, particularly when mentioning that DD was waking a few times in the night (i.e. ready for solids in their opinion), we just stopped saying anything and just said DD was sleeping fine.

Be prepared to repeat, repeat, repeat

My Family think I should wean baby. My baby is 20 weeks. I have tried to explain to them about BLW and government guidelines. GP said it was ok to give baby small amounts of food. I havn't. I have let her lick fruit to taste. She isn't ready to eat yet but has enjoyed tasting. I'm hoping by 6 months she will be ready. I am currently BF every hour and doing nightfeeds still!

v good page here to refer stubborn MILs etc to

Seeing as "they" are currently conducting a study into the benefits of early weaning (eat study). I would advise you after 4 months to follow your babies lead. The weaning age will change from time to time, do it when you feel that your baby needs more than milk.

People are very quick to pick up on any kind of government recommendation, erm the government are not always right. Do what you think is right. People are sheep essentially.

if your baby is happy on just milk, then that's all your MIL needs to know or care about. Some babies' guts will mature faster than others and will be ready for solids before 6m, others won't. Your baby is your best indicator for when to start weaning onto solids, not your MIL.

sorry OP, just assumed it was your MIL there - for MIL, read "older relative" instead and the same thing applies.

SingForJoy, luckily the guidelines do account for difference. The advice is not bang on 6 months for all babies, it's around the middle of the first year. The NHS/DOH leaflets all use language like 'around' this time and 'about' 6 months and they recommend you follow your baby and let it happen at their own pace. I dispute people being sheep actually and think that generally people who attack the guidelines as something they are not (rigid) haven't understood them or separated them out from their own need to defend early weaning. I think people blindly assume that recommendations and guidelines are utterly rigid and prescriptive when in fact they describe how an individual baby displays readiness (sitting up, reaching for objects, ability to chew and swallow, loss of tongue thrust reflex) and encourage you to do it at the baby's pace not at some pre-ordained time.

Because it is a hassle and milk is by far an easier option. Why stress yourself out 2-months before you need to even start thinking about it?
I started weaning at 5-months, I had the best of intentions, I did BLW it was great. Then 3-weeks later we moved countries and it became an unbearable hassle, and I just gave up and went back to the bottle until we found a house.
Having a baby is hard, don't make it harder until you have to, i.e. when your baby starts demanding more nutrition.