BLW... for a bit of a control freak?!

[Pogger]

Hello

I'm hoping that some of those experienced in BLW might be able to give me their opinion/ a bit of advice/ some general hand-holding & support please.

DD is 5 months old and I would like to start BLW when she reaches 6 months (or slightly earlier if she seems ready). I absolutely love the idea of it, have done the research and in many ways am feeling all enthused (despite not knowing anyone else who's doing it) but...

I have to be honest and admit to myself that the whole 'going with the flow' thing doesn't always come naturally to me. I think I've got much better at relaxing when it comes to all things baby, but my natural style is more planner than winger, and more stress-bucket than don't-worry-be-happy!

So, my questions are basically about BLW and those of an 'organised' anal persausion... is it something that really only suits certain people? Is it something that can suit anyone, if your baby takes to it? Does the whole nature of BLW tend to mean that you HAVE to relax into it once you make the decision to go for it?

Sorry for rambling on - I hope this makes some kind of sense. Any thoughts or opinions would be very welcome.

Channel your organised side into thinking about healthy interesting meals for the whole family, maybe menu planning if it makes you feel in control.

That way you'll have a good long term effect on the whole families eating, and your baby will just fit in.

You do have to be relaxed about how much goes in, but thats something else you are best off being able to do long term too, so worth mastering

I'm not a planner but have become more so with BLW my DS - I now plan the next couple of days main meals and we are all eating better homecooked stuff now.

Was v proud to see DS 12m and DD 2.9 both sitting at the table eating my cottage pie today, he makes a v good attempt with fork and spoon now, the food flinging stage isn't forever

Ha - I think I could have posted the op a few years ago when I was weaning dd.

I satisfied my control freakery by keeping records of everything that she tried so that I could spot any allergies and also make sure that across the week, she got a balance of foods, protein and iron rich food with vit c etc. I also spent time planning meals ahead, including steaming carrots etc to keep in small tupperware boxes when we were out, in case we found ourselves in a cafe at lunchtime that didn't quite meet my nutritional objectives.

So you can take control of lots of the blw process - just not the bit where the food actually goes in their mouth!

I am a control freak stress bucket & did blw with my twins (who were admittedly babies 3 & 4). My keenness to do it with them for all the right reasons overcame my natural resistance to going with the flow. I still find the flinging of food hard to live with but they love their food (at 14mo) so I love that. Yes, did write everything down etc and that helped, but hard to relax about letting them just pick what they wanted etc. Their wholehearted enjoyment of the whole thing and interest in food made up for that in spades. If you've never done any other kind of weaning, it should be easier to do blw iyswim? Good luck anyway

Thanks so much for your responses!

From some of the research I've done into it, I was getting a bit concerned that there should be no method/ system to BLW at all, which I think wouldn't have worked for me.

Of course, now I think about it, there can be loads of organisation involved in planning healthy meals for the whole family - I love a good plan (and tupperware), so that should work v well!) I know I'll definitely need to be relaxed about the amounts, so will really try to do that.

I think sometimes I can kid myself that I'm a slightly different person from the one I actually am, if that makes sense (and doesn't make me sound like a complete loon ) so I'm really pleased that there are other people out there who might not have seemed like ideal BLW candidates initially, but have actually loved it.

MoaningMinne - the image of your 2 DCs happily eating your cottage pie is lovely

Could I ask you all one more quick question... did you have friends doing BLW at the same time as you, or were you the only ones?

I think a lot of us on paper aren't ideal mums because of the control freakery (I certainly find dealing with 4 lo's pretty challenging because of the noise/mess/chaos) but it works out
I had a couple of online friends who were doing it (via MN) but don't know anyone in RL. I think my HV wants me to do a talk or something because it's pretty new in these here parts.
Hope you enjoy it as much as dd does

I honestly can't even imagine having 4! Are you almost immune to much of the noise & chaos by now? I can just imagine myself sitting in the corner, rocking gently, muttering 'so much mess, so much..'

I don't know anyone in RL doing it either - my HV hadn't heard of it (or at least pretended not to understand what I was saying) so no help there either. So pleased I found MN

Hi pogger,

i did blw with dd as she refused to have anything put in her mouth. I was reluctant at first, as was expecting to just do same as ds where i kept a meal by meal diary for months and intially the thought of dd having gravy on that roast spud and cake, and generally mixtures of things made me feel out of control.

After a few weeks, she was off and exploring loads of diff food stuff and as long as i kept a banana and some bread or rice cakes in the bag we were ok. And much more relaxed as a result. Good luck. You'll be surprised what theyre capable of

Not remotely immune! I do hide upstairs for a few minutes now and again muttering to myself and just started on AD's to cope with it all (4 under 6). Must admit trying BLW with the dt's (didn't do it with the other 2) was a new experience I thoroughly enjoyed. Had to 'explain' it to a lot of people though and found my mum spoon feeding them yesterday when I left them with her for an hour! She can't cope with it, bless her.

Thanks Stig. I have a feeling that DD will be one of those lovely, spirited 'I'll do it my way thank you' babies too, if her personality carries on developing along the same lines

The possibility of random food combinations is something that I know I'll have to work at relaxing into - when I have a cooked breakfast, I separate my egg from my baked beans by creating a wall of sausages!

AQ - 4 under 6, including twins, puts everything into perspective. I think only hiding upstairs for a few minutes every now & then is frankly amazing - I'd be in the airing cupboard for most of the day! Seriously though, I hope the ADs help. I can imagine my my mum doing the same - baby rice is her answer to all the world's ills...

I was just the same, control freak all over ... and exactly like MrsMalcolm, kept myself busy by worrying about allergies, poor food standards outside the house etc :-)

But also, I found that after those first few weeks that felt quite weird (like you're sitting there at a loose end while they do their exploring/eating!) actually the whole BLW process trained me into a way of seeing DD which became impossible to shake. Basically, after just a few weeks I couldn't bear the idea of anyone putting food into her mouth - and after a couple of months, couldn't even bear to watch other babies being spoon fed either!

Then I realised - it was exactly like inviting a guest round to your house for dinner. You might worry a bit about what food to offer them, but you're certainly not going to tell them what, when, and how to eat it, let alone try to feed them!

OP - you really have to let go and go with the flow when weaning I think - some days they're hungry, other days they arent and nothing you can say or do will make them eat. I was abit of a control freak with DS1 and weaning and he's a terrible eater - really picky and will not try anything new - but oh so tidy when he does eat With DS2 I did BLW - and its a totally different story - generally a good eater (though when he dislikes something -such as avocado - he is pretty vociferous about it) but sometimes prefers to play with food rather than eat it or to rub it in his hair, but my lord, the mess! Nothing prepared me for that... If eating out/at friend's places be prepared to take a splash mat, table cover and lots of wipes (plus a change of clothes) till they get the hang of eating abit more tidily...

messofthedurbervilles - Brilliantly put, thank you. Have read your post a couple of times and it's really resonated with me. That's exactly why, despite the inclination towards control-freakery, I want to go down the BLW route - I like her too much to just shovel food into her mouth

Dinky - Am having to take some deep breaths thinking about DD rubbing things in her hair... having said that, the fact that I find her so funny & feisty & uniquely herself means that laughter's usually the only option in most situations - hopefully that'll include any avocado shampoo moments!

So pleased the thread's come back to life for the start of 2010 - Happy New Year everyone.