15 month old wont eat - please help

[PennyBenjamin]

Have posted this in Behavior, but was suggested I might post here as well.
DS is now almost 15 months old, and has gone from being a 9 month old who would eat pretty much anything, to now where he will eat practically nothing. It has got gradually worse over the last 6 months, with him refusing more and more foods.

He has also started refusing to be fed by me as well, which would not be a problem if he would actually put food in his own mouth. Since then I have been just sitting him with finger food, but he just doesn't like anything. I think I have tried just about every food I can think of, but the only things he will eat are banana, yoghurt, shreddies, and occasionally a few bites of toast or bagel. He absolutely refuses meat or vegetables.

If this were just teething or a phase I would understand, but it's been going on for months now. I end practically every meal in tears, and seem to spend most of my time shopping for, and cooking, food that ends up being thrown on the floor and then thrown away.

People trot out platitudes like "He'll eat when he's hungry" or "Toddlers will never let themselves starve" but I think he might be the exception. He has actually gone more than 24 hours without solids passing his lips, and only 8 ounces of milk, and I still couldn't get him to eat anything more than a yoghurt.

Please, please help. I really am losing it, I just don't know what to do. Do I keep him going on yoghurts and banana, or is that letting him know that if he holds out he can get something he likes? Do I not give him anything if he wont eat what's in front of him, or is he too young to understand that?

I would say go with it and try to chill out. The more he sees you stressing the more he knows he has the power play.

My DD was the same, I was told she would eat at a year, nope, at 18 months, nope, at 2, not so you would write home about it!

She is now 2.6, very tall and slim and very healthy. She just does not require a lot of food. She never at 'sloppy' things and still doesn't. No soup, sauces, porridge, no milk on cereal, rarely yogurt, no cheese, no bread, no potato, no pasta, very little rice, nothing creamy and hardly any sweet deserts (to my glee and nurserys shock!) I had to learn to accept that this is how she is. If I get one full meal down her a day I consider it a success. I have given up trying, I put the food down, what she eats she eats what she doesn't goes in the bin.

I think your DS is too young to understand consequence of 'hanging on' for foods he likes but he will sure as hell know he is getting a rise out of you. I would try to test a whole week of simply putting down the food, pretending to be interested in something else (book, TV) and let him get on with it. Once he is down simply smile and take it away. You can grimace in the kitchen (or cry and shout in the garden!).

How about changing where he sits? Do you eat with him? Can he pretend to 'feed' a toy bear or similar?

Is he thriving OK? Full of life and energy?

Hello. First time on Mumsnet - but your talk rings bells with me. I have a 13 month old who is very particular about what he eats. Luckily he loves fruit - bananas, grapes, apples but will balk at fish fingers or pieces of chicken - even though he ate a very wide variety of food stuffs when I was doing puree's for him. I think some of it is down to teething and some of it down to control. I try to keep a neutral face when food is just being thrown and give a big round of applause if he handles it or it goes anywhere near his mouth! He has dropped a bit of weight at this months weigh in but they where not worried so I am going to just keep offering a variety of things at meal times to try to see what he will finally eat! I know how you feel though - the waste of food is so depressing and the worry that he might get sick if he doesn't eat a balanced diet can be enough to make you scream. I am trying to not make it into a battle ground - changing clothes/nappies is enough of a battle at the moment that having another one every time he has to eat would be too much.

Have you got Annabel Karmel's book - she has some good ideas/tips.