help my 9month old wont eat im at my wits end

[xTansx]

My little girl is 9months old now and ive been feeding her from when she was 5 and a half months as she was more than ready, at first she loved it, she would eat everything but for the last couple of months she will only eat about two mouth fulls.
as soon as she sees the spoon coming she closes her mouth and shakes head she is not gaining enough weight and im really worried i hate going to get her weight checked as they comment everytime.
She is very active so i no she needs more food than shes getting
please someone give me some advice

most of her nutrition should still be coming from breastmilk/formula. don't worry too much - you should try with finger foods, so she can try to feed herself. Search for Baby Led Weaning (BLW) on Mumsnet - lots of advice there

Stop forcing the food issue. Stop spoon feeding her, she is well and truly old enough to do it herself, and indeed that is probably why she is refusing the spoon. If she doesn't eat meals give her a bottle instead. Don't make the mistake my friend did and give her a low fat diet by giving too much fruit and veg and not enough fat, starch and protein.

If she has jars, ditch them. They are full of cornflour that does nothing for ababy. give her pasta twirls with cheese, cut up omelette etc.

But really, she's too young to stress about it. If she is active, she is getting enough calories. It doesn't matter if she stops gaining weight for a while. Children who are starving are not active.

Sorry, ex bottle-feeder slip - if she doesn't eat a meal, give her a bottle OR BREAST.

I would also say it would be a good idea to try Baby Led Weaning. It is then up to your dd to feed herself and to regulate her own appetite.

Put a few things on her highchair tray and step away. Don't sit there watching her and helping her. Get on with something else in the room and chat away to her, but don't watch. They can feel your tension/pressure/upset.

Whatever way forward you choose it may take some time and you'll have good days and bad days, but stick with it and she'll get there.

Oh, and does she eat biscuits? If so you know she's able to feed herself, able to bite/suck, able to swallow food etc etc. So there are no reasons why she can't eat her meals herself.

Oh and good luck, it won't be like this forever. With some time and patience you'll both crack it

The worst thing you can do is get stressed about this. My little girl goes through 'phases' - sometimes she eats a lot, sometimes she doesn't, often weeks at a time. My mum said I was like this when I was younger too. If you get worked up about it, she will realise she gets attention for refusing food, and later on you really will have a battle on your hands. Lots of positive encouragement - hmmm, this is yummy! This smells good. This tastes lovely! Smiley and happy when you are eating, etc. and make mealtimes fun (if you can!!!)

It could also be that she is teething, both my girls (dd1 (6) mainly spoon fed, dd2 (15mth) BLW'd) hated anything in their mouths at these times & dd2 is going thru much the same now as she has deciduous molars coming in (4, no less).

Be relaxed, don't stress! As others have said milk is still her main source of everything & really, at this age food is still first tastes/textures. As long as she is getting a good amount of breast/formula milk, she will be fine!

Also, her tummy is only the size of her fist!

What is her weight?

My dd is 9 months next week. I started off doing baby led weaning, but now mix it with a bit of spoon feeding (eg I spoon feed her her porridge in the morning as I don't have time to let her make a mess feed herself and the clean up afterwards).

My dd is very opinionated independent and prefers to feed herself, but puts up with me spoon feeding her breakfast as long as she gets to feed herself for the rest of the day.

Does she ever have any finger food? If so she can start eating pretty much whatever you have. Just let her play with it to start with and don't worry if she doesn't appear to be actually eat much (as others have said she's should still be getting most of her nutrition from milk at this stage anyway), you'll see when she starts getting some in by it reappearing in her nappy.

If she hasn't had much finger food before, or you are nervous about her feeding herself, you could start off more slowly. I started dd on sticks of cucumber, steamed carrot and parsnip sticks, slices of avocado, pear and banana.

If it is just her asserting her independence then hopefully she'll start to eat fairly quickly and either way she'll have great fun playing with all the smells, tastes and textures she encounters.

I bought Gill Rapley's book on baby led weaning when we started and it really helped give me the confidence to give it a go after previously puree/spoon feeding my two dses.

DS was the same at 7-10 month! He once didn't eat hardly anything for 3 weeks. Leave it, let her have as much milk as she wants, and she'll eat when she is hungry! He is 13 months old, still quite a light eater, but big and strong, so maybe I am overestimating how much he needs to eat. He only let me spoon feed him for about 2 weeks - has been finger food pretty much all the way since.

well i got her weight yesturday and it was 15:4 its heartlb which is well below the health vistors gave me more rubbish advice so i saw my gp she has made an appointment for her to see a specialist
i still breastfeed her as she will not take formula (any brand), i give her finger foods and i make homecooked foods but she still refuses shes a bag of bones as her mum its heartbreaking.

xTansx - is she really as skinny as you suggest? 15 lbs 4 oz is just above the 9th centile for her age - well within normal, unless she used to be on a much higher centile.

If she needs more calories according to your HV, then it would normally be fine to breastfeed her more.

Making mealtimes stressed and strained can have a long term effect and make her less likely to eat a variety of foods happily and relaxedly. Just taking the pressure off and breastfeeding her more, with whatever small amount of foods she will feed herself, is a strategy to share with whoever is advising you - but you do need to trust them to know what they are talking about

I know where you are, although my DD was a reasonable weight. DD refused purees and so did BLW but she still didn't eat much solids until she was 2 years old BLW does not equal a great eater IME. She will be taking enough BM that she needs and that should be sufficient until she is around 1. Its nothing you are doing some babies are just not interested in food, no matter what or how you try and feed them. Give the baby her favourite foods even if a narrow range and build from there very slowly. I lost loads of weight and was on the verge of depression due to non-eating DD. DS now 7 months old, a better eater but still intake varies alot from day to day and a sniffle or a tooth will make him stop eating completely. I see that with DD is wasn't my fault thats pretty important to realise. Two books - my child wont eat and meals without tears both helped me alot. Good luck.

It is really hard, my DD is not quite as small as yours (9 months and 16.3lb), but she has gradually fallen from the 50th centile. She is also very active and has very little interest in food (breast, bottle or food). She point blank refuses to be spoon feed, and will now nibble at finger foods. It has taken 2 months of putting food in front of her 3 times a day, and this week she finally started eating more than just 1 or 2 bites. This week she has eaten pasta spirals with a homemade bolognaise sauce, some banana, some toast spread with cream cheese and cheerios. But, she has now started to take even less milk (and refuses any formula). She always has left over expressed breast milk when I get home from work. I am hoping that she will just get the hang of eating one day? I have no advice really, just wanted to let you know that I can empathize!

Have just had 3 weeks of the same thing and it was torture so I feel your pain. We seem to have sorted it out at the moment but also I think it was partly due to teething.

Have you tried being "ladies who lunch" a few days a week (or more if your budget stretches to it . My DD would refuse more than 2 spoons at home unless I followed her round as she crawled/sat on bathroom floor with nappy off , but would eat everything if we were in a cafe. Meant I could relax a bit because I knew she was getting some food and still taught her she only eats if in a high chair and on my terms.

Also we live on a main road so I moved her highchair to the window and now we look for doggies, buses, men etc and that also helps.