How important do you think weaning is? Worth a lot of thought and effort, or not really?

[welliemum]

I'm curious about this because we've not really discussed it here (that I remember), but during these huge heated weaning debates that explode on MN every now and again you can clearly see that some people think it's all terribly important, and others think it's a lot of fuss about nothing.

It seems to me that that's a much more profound difference of opinion than whether you use spoons or not. Yet somehow it seems to just simmer under the surface without ever being debated in itself.

So I'm really interested to know what people think!

I suppose it is very important, but equally would be good if it didn't entail so much fuss, IYSWIM. Interesting...

Oh, and my own opinion FWIW:

I've spent an enormous amount of time and effort and thought about weaning the DCs because I believe that when you start them eating, you're setting the stage for their attitudes to food and eating in later life. And this IMO is v.v. important.

Not that I think weaning is the ONLY thing that determines their attitudes to food - not at all, it's obviously a very complex process - more that it's the first step of a journey, and the journey will be that much easier if the first step is in approximately the right direction.

I'm not claiming to know what the "right" direction is, by the way - just that I feel that I really want to give it my very best shot, so have been very willing to give it a lot of thought and energy despite all the sleep deprivation and severe porridge brain.

Now waiting for people to tell me I'm just wasting my time...

It is one of those things I was really worried about as I remember seeing friends with charts of what foods to introduce when and it was all really complicated. I assume that if you wait until 26 weeks, you don't need to do that. In any event, it was pretty much stress-free and I don't know why it gave me so much anxiety

I didnt put a great deal of effort into it TBH. I waited till 26 weeks, and then waited till 7 months for dairy and gluten (not sure why but it seemed like a good idea at the time ) and then tried to get them eating the same as the rest of the family as soon as they were able.
I think if you wait until around 6 months to wean you dont have to put as much effort into weaning.

One of the things I love about BLW is the idea that they'll instinctively eat what they need, so there's no need for me to be a nutrition expert. It cuts out a huge amount of stress at a stroke.

But then I did spend a lot of time reading about BLW and about children's instincts wrt to food so although the actual process of giving my DC's food was very relaxed and low stress, I'd put quite a lot of thought into it beforehand.

In fact, thinking about it some more, in an ironic kind of way one of the things I've thought about most carefully is how to stop the DC's from picking up how important I think it all is.

I think this has been especially vital at the toddler stage - if the toddler picks up that you're even mildly interested in what they eat, you're sunk.

So I see it as a bit like a swan which looks as if it's gliding along serenely without a care in the world, but underneath, there's a fair bit of paddling going on.

I see your question as 3 separate but overlapping questions IYSWIM.

1. Early weaning v waiting until at least 26 weeks. Some people find the evidence convincing and strong for 26 weeks, others disagree.
2. Method of introduction to foods -basically purees v BLW.

3.General attitudes to food and eating.e.g. plate clearing, no pudding until main course eaten (or otherwise), variety in diet, attitudes to sweets/biscuits, healthy body image, labelling foods as 'good' and 'bad' etc etc

I think that 1. and 3. are important, not so sure about 2. I did BLW and am glad of it, but not convinced that the eating habits of my 17 month old would have been that different if we had gone the puree route. Having said that, I was quite surprised to discover that most of DS's contempories are still spoonfed a lot of the time.

I must think it's important because I am the world's most reluctant cook but I cook pretty much all of DD's meals.

I do NOT enjoy talking about weaning though because, you know, it's boring.

Noooo, Chequersmate, you can't say it's boring! [devastated]

FM, that's interesting the way you've divided up the issues because I think I divide them up differently in what passes for my head.

For example:

• the importance of learning to regulate their own appetite, eat when hungry and stop when full
• taking the emotional loading out as much as possible, ie never letting them feel they should eat to please me
• eating a balanced diet - as much as possible putting this in the child's control

... etc

So whether I prefer one method or another depends on what works with my priorities. BLW ticks a lot of boxes for me but I really hate those BLW vs puree debates because they seem so irrelevant to me - I'm much more interested in attitudes to eating than in spoons.

Ah now, the whole pudding as reward/clearing plate thing really interests me and is something I feel very strongly about. But I'm not sure that's weaning per se - much bigger question about attitudes to feeding children generally.

yes, my point 3. could be divided further but I am typing left handed with toddler on lap!
Appetite regulation and emotional attitudes to food are very important IMO and I do think that some of this can be shaped from an early age- i.e. I would never insist my son finish everything on his plate, and I hate it when my MIL people congratulate him for eating well. I do believe that he knows his own appetite and like to leave him in control of that.
Not so sure he would select a balanced diet if left to his own devices though. We were at a restaurant the other day and despite there being a wide variety of foods that he will eat (tomatoes, pasta, bread, fish, burger) once he saw the chips that was it, he ate nothing else. I don't think he was particularly potato deficient before that meal!
Anyway, he's woken up so time for lunch- South Indian veg curry with spinach raita, a dish I know that I would have refused to touch at 17 years let alone 17 months so maybe I'm doing something right...

But spicemonster, you see I feel that the right time to start thinking about attitudes to feeding children is when you start weaning them or even before, which is why weaning is important to me.

I'm interested to hear from people who disagree with that.

LOL at spinach raita FM, that's excellent.

There's a lot of anecdote about small children eating a balanced diet instinctively, by the way. Aitch had a link to a very interesting study on her blog.

But a key point is that the child must be selecting from a healthy range of foods not processed food, because children are programmed to go for sweet, fatty, salty food that doesn't really exist in nature, and that would mess up the instinct.

Incidentally I've seen malnourished toddlers hoovering up nasty cold boiled spinach and then stealing more spinach off their neighbours' plates - quite a chilling sight actually.