Help! dd, 3yrs, Very Fussy eater, any tips?

[hmmSleep]

My daughter was a great eater until she hit about 12 months, since then she has slowly started to refuse foods one by one,
now this is all she will eat, and even these not all the time;

bread, toast, croissants, crackers, all dry, no butter or spreads.
Pancakes with nutella, sometimes, not at the moment!
Spaghetti carbanara
Apples, must be whole, unmarked, red
Grapes, sometimes
raisins
ricecakes, breadsticks
smoothies
porridge, sometimes
cornflakes
tomato ketchup
chocolate
milk
grated cheese

All these things must be uncontaminated, not touched by anything else, not marked or broken etc.
I'm concerned she's eating no vegetables, no meat, fish or pulses, basically living off carbs, a tiny amount of fruit and milk.

She's also really fussy about smells, she refused a breadstick at toddler group the other day because she could "smell the other children".

I feel I've tried everything, even the things I know I'm not supposed to do! Ignoring, being strict, bribing, giving her what she wants,
no snacking, offering little and often, blah blah blah. My ds is a fantastic eater, eats anything.
I know I should just try and relax, she's full of energy and seems healthy but it's so hard not to worry, and I'm sick of throwing food in the bin.
I've covinced myself she's going to turn into one of these people who eats nothing but toast for the rest of their lives! Any tips really appreciated.

have you tried giving her bits of food from your plate? or mixing new foods into her existing foods, eg pureed fruit in her porridge or on her pancakes? extra ham in her spag carbanara, what about pasta bolognaise with mince in?

Is there someone she likes to copy or clings to other than you? My DS looks up to my brother and when I want him to eat something new, i get my brother to pretend to eat it/or eat it and offer it to my ds. Cos he wants to be like my brother he tries new things - he wont if i offer them. just an idea (my ds is 5 however)Maybe if you sit dd and ds next to each other she may share his food?

She's probably getting all she needs healthwise, it's the "being touched" by anything else that is odd. Does she do any cooking herself? Does she have a play kitchen? Does she feed dolls? Can you encourage these so you can see what she gives her dolls and then you can talk about it without it being aimed at her directly. Til then I'd just give from your list mixing it so she gets a balance of starch, veg, protein etc in the right proportions.
I'd also eat the same as her so she doesn't think she's having different to anyone.

Thank you for advice.

DLI, Will try the pureed fruit in porridge, she won't try it if she can see it but I'm guessing apple would disguise pretty well.

It's tricky because if she can see it she won't even put it in her mouth, and most of the foods she will eat don't lend themselves to hiding food in them. She starts nursery after easter so I'm hoping seeing the other children eat might encourage her.

Blarbie, she loves helping to cook, and playing with toy food, feeding dolls etc. I often get my hopes up when she's enthusiastically helping layer a lasagne only for her to sit down, push it away and declare ' I no like that thank you Mummy'.

One thing that I will try is eating the same, I do tend to give the rest of us 'proper' food whilst she sits there with a croissant and grated cheese for lunch. I think it's the slightly obsessive behaviour that worries me, she can get very uptight about things, I'm hoping it's just a phase.

Fingers crossed!

Croissant and cheese isn't so bad for lunch, I bet she'd be well miffed if you all had it too. She might start asking for lasagne to be different! I'd make a point of serving exactly the same to all and not mentioning it, I can just picture her face as she tries to work out what's going on as you chat about something else entirely!
I would also be very sad if she didn't eat the lasagne as unfortunately there's nothing else to eat, ah well she can just sit and tell you what she's been up to today as you all eat yours!!
My 22 month old went through a phase of bringing a doll to the table so I'd give her a small amount of whatever we had, of course the naughty doll wouldn't eat it so my DD had to (her aim all along!!). How about a doll at the table sitting beside your DD and your DD has to make sure she eats up her dinner? It could be easy things to start e.g. croissant and cheese which your DD will enjoy helping to eat, but what would she say to the doll if she refused lasagne that DD had made? I bet your DD wouldn't give her an alternative!!
It is odd about the smelling other children, but then I often notice a horrid smell in school canteens etc that would put me right off. You could also try eating whatever she gets at play group, and if you can't face eating it maybe you'll see she's right!