BLW =reassurance please

[stuckinthecorner]

DS is now 13 months old is bf and we are weaning following a BLW approach because he hated purees/ being spoon fed etc. He eats very little, but meal times are happy and relaxed and he remins a boobaholic!
At our 8 month check with the HV, when told how we were weaning told me to withhold bf until he was hungry enough to eat proper amounts. Yeah, right, ok then .

Anyhow, yesterday she popped in because she hadnt seen me at clinic for a while to check Id got over my weaning problems! She made he feel like I was starving my boy, gave me a huge lecture about how he should be sleeping through (hes up twice to feed), how he should be eating more and bf less etc. (He still has 4 bfeeds through the day and gets offered 3 meals and 2 snacks.) How I should be thinking about ff or at least cows milk` to up his intake etc etc.

Am I doing it right? I love bf, but it is hard work sometimes and I am tired with the night feeds but I am willing to carry on until he chooses to reduce/ stop. Or do I have to force him a little??

I have a busy day today, so may not get back again til this eve so please dont think Im being rude and ignoring you
Thanks .....

I'm pretty sure by the time you log on again, stuck, there will be a raft of posts expressing exasperation and eye-rolling at your HV.

I'm assuming your HV has no health concerns about your baby's growth or development, yes?

So her concern is that his behaviour needs changing? But she has no evidence that this is a problem for you or him, and in fact you are happy to meet his night-time needs (which are normal, as you know).

You already know enough about her level of knowledge from the 8 mth check - so it's understandable you are sceptical of what she is saying now.

You can ask her why cows milk or formula would be better than breastmilk for your baby - given the calorie content is about the same (breastmilk has slightly more, in fact) and as he is having solids and snacks, iron is unlikely to be a problem (and if she thinks it is, then he can have iron-rich solids if he isn't already)?

Just ask her.She may have some answers for you .

My DS, in spite of eating three hearty meals and two snacks a day at 13 months was having morning bf, bottle of EBM/bf (depending on work or not work day) during day, evening boob and twice in the night. He dropped feeds of his own accord as and when with no pressure. And slept through at 18 months and is a fabulous sleeper ever since

My HV (at 12 month check) said that if I was happy with the no of bfs, and night feeding, then that was fine wasn't it.

Presume your DS is growing fine, so how could you be starving him ?

I'd be fascinated to know what her evidence base is for making you feel bad about meeting your childs needs.

Quick swoop in before the school run... Thanks for your replies. They make me feel better already- I knew (deepdown) it was ok I just had a wobble as she made me feel so guilty.

No concerns re growth and development, he`s bright and happy, toddling around, into everything and gaining weight along the same centile when I weigh him on the bathroom scales. I had no worries until she came along. I think she feels he should be eating more and the way to get him to do this is to reduce his bf but I am comfortable with the number of feeds etc. Luckily I dont have any pressure to go back to work so I can just let him take his time about reducing when HE needs to.

Thanks again, CMOT I want a sensible HV like yours!! and Tictok, its the constant support of people like you on here that have kept me going with bf for this long..
Right I`m strong again...now off for school run

I'm pretty sure you're supposed to do it the other way round, offer milk first and then do the solids but I shall consult my book and get back to you - I'm about to start BLW in 2 weeks so have only got to the 'getting started' section of the book!

Yes, definitely milk first and solids after when you're first weaning, so HV very at 8 month check, but then not many of them are aware of BLW.

The book I have is Gill Ripley & Tracey Murkett - Baby-led Weaning, helping your baby to love good food. I shall paraphrase!

On p.168-9 it says:

Babies grow more in their first year than at any other time in their lives and they need nutrient and calorie-rich bm or ff to do this, solid foods - whatever they are - don't contain anywhere near as much nourishment. So don't be surprised if your baby shows no signs of wanting to replace her milk feeds with solids for several months after taking her first mouthful of food.

As they begin to eat more at mealtimes, the need for bm/ff gets less; how fast this happens varies enormously from baby to baby. How you and your baby experience the gradual cutting down of milk feeds will also differ depending on whether you are breastfeeding or ff. If you are bf and letting her have all her drinks at the breast you may not notice any change in the number of feeds she has each day, though they may be shorter. When she is eating real little meals and having a drink of water (or a short bf) with them, she will simpy begin to miss out some of her main milk feeds altogether. As long as you listen to what she is 'telling' you and don't try to make her take more or less milk than she wants, you should be able to rely on her appetite to let you both know what to do.

A bf baby will let her monther know when she is ready to give up bfing, either by not asking for the breast of by repeatedly turning away when it is offered.

HTH

Hi, when my DD was 13 months, she was still feeding at least six times a day and often once or twice at night, despite eating three good meals and snacks of the fruit/bread variety too. She actually self-weaned when she was around 14 months but I am delighted that I let her do it her own way and didn't try to force the issue as it was just happier all round for all of us. And she's never liked cow's milk and still doesn't. If I'd tried to make her drink that instead of breast milk before she was ready, I think she'd just have been deprived of something she needed. She is now a great eater, btw, apart from when she is ill, although she has her little quirks like they all do! We did start on purées but soon moved to letting her do it herself as she hated other people putting spoons in her mouth.