HV told me to wean early

[SnowlightMcKenzie]

She told me yesterday to start introducing baby rice. My DD is 23 weeks.

The reason is because she was born on 25% but rose to the 75% in the first few weeks. I didn't weigh her for 2.5 months and when I did she was back on the 25%. I weighed her two weeks later and she was on the 25%.

It doesn't matter about the weight apparently, the HV was looking at the pattern of the curve on the chart and this is a classic sign that weaning should begin.

The thing is, our area is very very short of HVs and this one is overworked, overstretched, works in her own time and really imo does the very best she can. She has been fantastic wrt my DS and some problems we have been having so I kind of feel on the back foot wrt challenging her because I still need her help with him.

I suppose her advice isn't that harmful and weaning now wouldn't be the end of the world. It's just that I feel very sad, that a hcp that I believe to be very good, and who has been so helpful has let me down with poor weaning advice.

I think I am saddened further because I wasn't even asking for weaning advice. IMO Baby Starlight will be ready later than 26 months, I certainly know I will be, and I don't really feel moved to enter into a conversation about it with anyone.

SO, if the best HVs are gettting it wrong, what chance do our poor little babies have?

I had the same thing when my (otherwise excellent) HV told me to cut back 8mo dd's bf and give her more veg, yes veg because she was 'underweight' meaning 'no longer on the same centile she was on at 6wks'.

I ignored her, obv, but I felt positively betrayed

Gosh 23 weeks really? That's flown by.

It is that your confidence has been shaken a bit. Not sure it's not based in fact. My excellent hv said the same (place on centile increasing suddenly then dipping down a bit being something to do with weaning readiness) but added, wait for 26 weeks to be sure and make sure all developmental signs were there (sitting unaided, loss of tongue thrust, pincer grasp etc). I waited longer than that in the end and when dd was nicking food and eating it I accepted it was time.

Thanks SOH! And yes, time has flown.

Baby Starlight only just rolled over yesterday so she's got a way to go before sitting.

I'm bfing, so interpreted the chart as putting on weight fast until 4 months and then dropping back to birth weight centile that seems to be common w bf babies.

It doesn't really matter because I'm confident enough to do what I want to, but it did surprise me that the advice was given despite my not even mentioning it, or any problems with feeding.

I think you're being a bit hard on your health visitor! Your child is approaching 6 months and she has suggested you start weaning. That's hardly a capital offence (apart from on mumsnet of course ) It is not and has never been the case that 5 months and 30 days = not ready for food and 6 months and 1 day = ready for food. You're under no obligation to take her advice and in fact you obviously intend not to. 'what chance do our poor little babies have' is frankly a ridiculous over-statement. She's talking about baby rice not crack!

NL Perhaps you're right, but I would have thought that the sensible approach would be to encourge early weaning parents to wean as late as possible, and leave later weaners to themselves.

It seems a bit unnecessary to advise a parent planning to wean at 6months to wean earlier when she hasn't even mentioned it doncha think?

I did acknowledge above that this advice is unlikely to cause any harm, but I still feel saddened by the interference and advice given despite not asking and that it goes against recommended guidelines.

HV's normally want to have the weaning conversation with parents before they start weaning - therefore 22-23 weeks would be about the right time - assuming you're not going back in a fortnight in which case she could have waited. The guidelines say weaning should be at 'about' or 'around' six months - and at 23 weeks I think you could be considered to be approaching that point so her advice could be deemed appropriate. You are obviously a confident and informed parent who doesn't need any weaning advice - but it's worth bearing in mind that HVs see a wide spectrum of people and whilst I think they try to personalise their approach as much as possible, they do also need to make sure they are giving consistent advice to everybody and not assuming everyone is acting appropriately. Better to mention baby rice to everybody than have somebody trying to wean their baby on a first food of raw steak or a honey and peanut butter sandwich...

Okay NL You have made me feel a little better about it, although this particular HV I do see every week at the children's centre.

Although I still reckon she could have said start to wean in a few weeks time.

snowlight my ds does not roll but does sit pretty well by himself so these skills can come the other way round he's 25 weeks

My DD is no where near rolling - far too fat I think lol - but can sit up well with a bit of support. She is 25 weeks now and I have been offering her little bits of whatever we are eating (sensibly obviously) as she is so keen and will grab it if you take your eyes off her.

I would have thought that weight drop was more to do with her being a bf baby though. My DD shot up and off the scale during the first 4 months but has rally slowed down now and is starting to lose (some) of her quadruple chins and fat rolls on her legs lol.

I get what you mean about feeling sad - it does feel weird doesnt it when you trust them and you are following the guidelines with no fuss and they say something else. My lovely HV suggested it last week as DD was feeding hourly and she suggested if I wanted to I should start weaning. I said I was fine and was determined to get to 6 months (stubborn me lol) and she laughed and said fine. At this point though they are so close to being ready I dont think there is much harm. As NL says there is no magic day - I prefer the developmental readiness idea - although that it proving difficult as DD is more than ready in some areas but not in others (basically everything but cant sit up unsupported).

Do you think she was just suggesting it / generally musing / discussin it with you or telling you?

cant believe they are nearly 6 months - remember us both being pregnant.

xxxx

how well does she do when you sit her up with some cushions? maybe she just needs a bit more practise? what about the other signs of readiness?

IMO I don't think your HV was wrong in giving you weaning advice even if you didn't ask for it. That's part of her job.

Hmmm, I think that if she interpreted the graph as a sign of readiness then yes, she has an obligation to mention it because lots of less informed mothers might not notice signs that their baby is 'ready' or have thought about weaning.

I think it is your right as a mother to discard any information you are given, but it is her job as a HV to mention things that she believes will help your baby.
Unfortunately HV aren't always right, but even so, it's like a doctor recognising the signs for some nasty illness and then not mentioning them on the grounds that actually you only went in to get a wart removed and it isn't connected to the illness he's spotted!

Ok, so that's a bit drastic, but ykwim right??!