I am really doubting what we are doing!!

[fairimum]

I need some reassurance, as I am really doubting what we are doing! The hospital advised DD (now 8.5 months) was weaned early, they wanted 4 months but we held off until just over 5, she wasnt really interested and took a few weeks for her to take anything from a spoon, she never really yumm yummed at anything at all and feeding her was just stressful as she spat most of it out - she began to take more if distracted and when had eaten was a much happier baby - anyway over xmas she was off her food for over 3 weeks as had tummy bug, cold and then UTI - now she will hardly take anything and is much happier feeding herself which is fine by me, she had been having finger food as soon as she was able anyway, the problem now is she is hungry, waking in the night hungry etc - so has been taking more bottles, was down to 4 a day before, now up to 6 some times 7

today she has had
5am - 6oz
8am - toast and banana
9am - 5oz
10.30 - breadsticks
12 - meatballs and carrots and pasta
1pm - 5oz
3pm - pancakes and grapes
5pm - 5oz and half fruit puree pot
7.30pm - 5oz
10.20pm - 8oz (last 2 days not woken and taken this about 11!)
last 2 nights has woken at 5am for milk (basically have moved the 6 hour stretch of sleep to when i am asleep and she seems less grumpy in the day as not waking hungry as such but i am dream feeding her - except this evening when she woke earlier!)

so I am wondering as she isnt eating if i should up what she is havin gin the day - am thinking tomorrow of adding an oz to each bottle to see if she sleeps better.... but the health visitor said is fine she is feeding herself but to reduce milk to make her hungry and eat more??? she gets so so frustrated after about 5-10mins of eating as assume so hungry.... just everyone else i know (in real life!) seems to have their 8/9month olds down to 3 or even 2 bottles a day, so by me making 6 a day and upping the ammount I am now questioning what we are doing and if i should be trying to get more spoons into her??

how much are your 8 or 9 month olds eating/drinking now??

I would move the 3pm pancakes to a 2:30 small ish snack i.e. steamed veg sticks and humus type thing then do a slightly larger meal just before 5 and keep feeding the milk on demand, remember food is fun until their one

agree with cupcake - we are the same age and have a big grazing meal that goes on from 5-6 (to cover my cooking for the whole family) so I give her a slice of toast etc first when I start cooking then when I've made whatever we are having - spag bol etc then she will have some of that as well.

I dont know about the milk amounts sorry. Though we dont have a milk feed at 1pm after lunch - that seems a lot to me (when does she nap?)

We are:

6.30 bf
7.15 porridge and cows milk
10.00 bf
11.30 lunch (lentil casserole and rice/quinoa etc)
12-2 nap
2.00 bf
5-6.00 dinner (spag bol/meatballs etc + fruit + yoghurt if shes still going for it)
7.30 bf

I thought it was a lot of milk!!

she naps about 9.30 - for about 45 mins

and about 1.30 for about 1.5-2hours

I am hoping it is a learning problem as she puts food in chews, just doesnt seem to swallow much as falls out as she tries to get more in! have tried one thing at a time but just sticks her hands in! - do you think it is too much milk?

I dont know tbh - I get confused by the advice that it should be all milk until one but then once they're one then all of a sudden theres a great switcheroo.

IMO it does seem like a lot of milk but then if the baby is hungry then they will need the milk - could you do a more porridgey/cereal breakfast so they get some milk in that and then a yoghurt or milky pudding for a snack - that way you could still see that the milk was going in.

I do half spoonfeeding and half finger foods anyway so hopefully a proper blwner will come along and let you know about the milk amounts.

I would say that hunger is not connected to awakening often during the night. At this age she should be waking once for a feed during the night. If she is waking up more often then it is for the following reasons:

She following a normal sleep/awakening pattern but is unable to get herself back off to sleep when she does awake

and/or

She has realised the way to get extra mummy attention.

'Healthy sleep habits, happy child' by Marc Weissbluth is a good book which I am curently reading and he recommends CC for the night awakenings that aren't for a feed so that she gets into a good habit of self-settling.

With regards to the food it sounds like you are doing the right thing although I don't know why you were told to wean early? It's normal behaviour to refuse food at that young age, they still have a tongue thrust reflex until they are about 6 mths old, however what you are doing now is like baby-led weaning and as you have noticed she much prefers to feed herself. At this age babies should still be getting most of their nutrition from their milk feeds so don't worry about 'getting more spoons' into her. Just let her join in with you at mealtimes and let her feed herself.

Another good book is 'Baby-led weaning' by Gill Rapley.

ellideb - the baby is 8.5 months though - I think that lots by then will be actively enjoying their food tbh and swallowing most of it too.

And dont agree that they should be waking in the night for a feed then either - they most certainly can and do but they dont have to.

I know that, giantkatestacks, where did I say otherwise about 8.5mths old?

Wrong choice of word, 'should' I agree but there is nothing wrong with a baby who does at this age.

just thought you might think it was 6 months - because of the tongue thrust reflex and refusing food...

and agree of course they may still wake in the night.

I think though that the whole point of weaning is to be encouraging them to enjoy food obviously and whatever method you use its a bit hard on the baby if they are expected to eat and are really full of milk - in a blw way surely they dont have the option then to eat or not eat certain food because they may be too full or they may know that milk will come afterwards anyway iyswim.

thank you for all your ideas! have helped put my mind at rest - just wondering how you went about night weaning??

I started to give only water and be really boring to wean at night

With blw it says in the book that from the age of six months to about 9 months that babies see food as a toy and don't understand that it satisfies hunger. In the beginning they don't swallow much so they still need all their nutrition from milk. So food is fun, baby gets to choose own pace and when the penny finally drops, at around 8 or 9 months then baby will naturally start to cut down their milk feeds.

I don't know about amounts of milk because DD was/is bf on demand. On the food front, though, we started BLW at six months. She clearly enjoyed her food and would try anything, but didn't eat very much. Now she's 10 months and there's suddenly been a change in the last couple of weeks -- she is chugging down large meals, easily four times or more what she would have eaten a few weeks ago. So I definitely think that for some babies there is a time when food just clicks and it's not worth getting too stressed if that time isn't when the HVs say it should be.

fair enough - my baby obviously hasnt read that book though and has been eating large meals/large amounts of finger food since we first started weaning. My ds (5) was the same by this age tbh.

with the night weaning - my dp went over and cuddled/shhhd etc and then put dd back in the cot. I think its important that they have a longish nap during the day as well so that they learn to settle themselves through the different stages of sleep.

she is good at settling herself and wakes about 5 or 6 times in total throughout the night and mostly settles herself within a couple of minutes, when she wakes hungry we have tried shhhing, patting her back to sleep but she will wake againwithin 10 minutes, when we have settled again she will continue to wake until she gets in such a state she makes her self retch, but as soon as we feed her she goes straight back to sleep, we have tried giving water but again wakes shortly afterwards - might give the water another go though - have upped the day time feeds today and has still drained the bottles so will see how we go tonight and might try upping them again tomorrow to see if giving her more milk during the day helps her go longer at night?