Torn about whether or not to stop BFing 14mo

[mama2boyz]

Everywhere i look i just get very polarized views...on one side 'Just stop breastfeeding, that's that' on the other side I get pressurised to continue breastfeeding until baby stops of his own accord bc otherwise he'll be emotionally damaged etc, etc.

I've been breastfeeding for 4years (I have an older child)

I know DS won't breastfeed forever (contrary to what some people think) but I'm not sure how long I can carry on. Having said that my kids and my relationship with them are the most important 'things' in my life and I'd hate to do anything detrimental to them.

My reasons for wanting to stop are 100% selfish.
I'm fed up of my massive E cup boobs.
I want to wear dresses again!
I'm fed up of him biting me.
I'm exhausted from the many nightfeeding sessions even though we co-sleep.

Has anyone got some sensible view on breastfeeding they could share?

Any experiences you could tell me about?

Did any of you stop breastfeeding before baby agreed to and how do you think it affected your relationship with your child?

Thanks for 'listening'

no but i'm in exactly the same position although ds is 16 months, and is in a cot next to my bed ( but still night feeds)

so...bump

Hi, I totally relate to this too, so...bump.
My ds is 14 months and I'd love to give up night feeds as I'm back to work full time soon.

I stopped bf DS2 at 19 months for purely selfish reasons.

1. We were only feeding morning and night, then he decided he wanted to start snacking.
2. He kept ripping my clothes open at inopportune moments to help himself.
3. I was fed up with feeding and wanted to move on.

I wasn't completely uncaring - DS2 was happy to drink cow's milk when I wasn't there, and tbh he didn't really protest at the change. I never felt I was losing anything by making this decision.

My advice to the OP would be to cut down on feeding by discriminating between feeding for hunger / thirst and feeding for comfort. At night he doesn't need to bf frequently so it must be alot for comfort.

When he bites say "no" and do not let him feed. I found DS2 only messed around when he wasn't really hungry.

You need to decide what is acceptable to you, and be consistent in that decision. Perhaps you could work towards just feeding morning and night - then you could wear dresses and get more sleep while still giving him the benefits of bf.

You sound like you'd be a lot happier if you could night wean and just feed morning and night, thus allowing you to wear dresses in between. Would this be an option for you?

I think I'd like to stop feeding dd (2.11), but have no idea how to do it either, esp when I'd still be feeding her brother (3 months), so it would lead to massive jealousy problems, which are already bad enough.

any tips on how to night wean??

I found the only way to stop all night feeding sessions was to keep DD2 in her own room (well, she shares with DD1 but still)
She dod move into her room at 5 months but I used to bring her into bed with us at 2am if she woke.
Since i stopped that she wakes at 11ish some nights but is asleep after a 5 minute feed, if she wakes after that she gets a sip of water from a cup and back down in the cot, this seemed ot be working but she is ill so I have stopped trying to nightwean until she is better. DD2 won't drink cows milk though so it is a little harder during the day

Giving boring water worked on dd1 though at 13 months.

Luvaduck - I think it will be harder to night wean while you are still sleeping so close. Your baby will be able to smell your milk and that will disrupt his desire to self settle. I would try moving him out of your room, and see how that helps. Once he is settled in his own room you could move onto offering water. How many times a night does he bf?

yes i know - good point - we're going to try this w/e. even though i think he wakes out of habit - twice a night.
just don't think i can bear the screaming...

get your dp to go in to settle him - so he knows there is no milk on offer.