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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

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Original poster

BLW - three weeks in and DS getting frustrated / upset

19 replies

LBsmum · 07/01/2009 19:22

Am three weeks into BLW with 29 week old, going very slowly ie DS not actually getting anything into mouth. Over last few days he appears to be getting quite frustrated and upset when put in front of food when in high chair or on lap - has anyone had a similar experience, I am hoping its a 'phase' that will pass ?

OP posts:

pispirispis · 07/01/2009 19:33

Could it be because he's hungry? It's best to make sure he's had some milk around an hour before you give him food so he's settled and enjoying the experience. Is it before nap times, because he might be tired..?

Does he try to get it to his mouth, not manage, and then get upset? Or does he not want to pick anything up and get upset?

Original poster

LBsmum · 07/01/2009 19:46

Thanks for your reply, he's not hungry because I do ensure he has a milk feed before our 'meal', somethimes he is tired as struggle with scheduled naps a bit but have tried varying meal times to avoid when he is most tired. When we first started BLW he tried to get some things into mouth but just ended up chewing fingers, he hasnt stopped picking things up and seems to enjoy pawing them for a while but has now stopped drawing things up to his mouth and gets upset soon after we sit down.

Having watched him today with other babies of similar age he doesnt get toys into his mouth as readily as them - perhaps he hasnt developed his co-ordination far enough yet?

OP posts:

pispirispis · 08/01/2009 09:34

Imagined you were making sure he wasn't hungry, but thought I'd ask just in case It was a mistake I made! I'm no expert as have only been doing BLW for a couple of months with my 8 month old dd, but from all I've read and heard from other mums, it's v common for babies to take quite a while to "get" solids and actually start eating, or even bring food to their mouths. And like you say, they all develop differently, sounds like you're right about bringing toys to his mouth.

I'm sure you've read this before but as long as he's getting enough milk he'll be fine, and he will get it in the end. In the early weeks, no matter how many times I read this, I still needed to read it again and again I've read and heard quite a few times about babies getting upset and not bringing the food to their mouths for quite a few weeks at the start, so be reassured it's common.

Are you sitting him down with food 3 times a day? Maybe you could take the pressure off you both and reduce it to once a day if you're doing this, or take a break completely for a few days. You could also make his "meals" shorter too. My lo got bored very quickly at the start, and she wasn't in the mood sometimes at all, especially if more tired than usual/teething/about to get a cold...

Plus, another mistake I made at the beginning, before I chilled out, was staring anxiously at her!! Not much fun for her, lol! You sound much more relaxed than I was, but just in case, remember to ignore him and relax, and eat your food.

BTW what does he normally do with really easy to grip stuff like rice cakes?

pispirispis · 08/01/2009 14:09

This
might be useful for you

Original poster

LBsmum · 08/01/2009 20:19

Thanks for your reply, some good advice, started BLW over Christmas when we were away and often only had one or two meals a day, he seemed to enjoy this. I have tried to get in three meals a day this week but will take a step back and try a breakfast or lunch which is when he seems most relaxed.

Try and keep meal times short and pick up when he has had enough and do try not to stare though really hard not to !. My mum has been here this week and she can get very excited, taking photos, clapping and secretly letting him lick hobnobs!! Might have given him stage fright.

He can grip rice cakes quite well but often just waves them around which I think means he is trying to drop them but can't.

Anyway will try and relax and slow down - thanks again for your replies - oh and nice web-site will def join up.

OP posts:

pispirispis · 09/01/2009 13:20

Lol, your mum sounds great! At least she's not tutting disapprovingly or hovering with a bowl of mashed stuff and a spoon, itching to give him a good spoon-feeding! I had lots of really enthusiastic, NOISY visitors at New Year oohing and aahhing at dd while she was eating, lol! Her face was a picture, she's used to just me and her at mealtime.

Would definitely cut down to one or two 'meals' a day if I were you. You've loads of time, and once he really starts eating then you'll have to give him three meals a day and you'll be remembering how easy and quick milk feeding was!

Libralovesbiscuits1975 · 09/01/2009 20:53

"try and keep meal times short and pick up when he has had enough and do try not to stare though really hard not to !. "

hmm just from a different viewpoint, I have just started BLW and I find after I have put food in front of my LO he just stares at it and isn't very interested for about 15 minutes and then suddenly decides to play. Maybe it's worth just leaving the food in front of him for longer to see what he does.

Libralovesbiscuits1975 · 09/01/2009 20:55

Also I had JUST finished explaining to my mum about BLW whilst doing the washing up to turn around and find her trying to put a piece of carrot in DS mouth. grrr.

pispirispis · 09/01/2009 21:30

Good point libra, I have heard other mums say that too. My dd is always full speed ahead with everything and gets bored very quickly, but they are all different.

Plus I said about ignoring your baby and not staring, lol! At the moment my dd will only eat veg if I eat the same as her at the same time, look at her and say "mmmmmmmmm!" If I don't she pushes it away and squeals. She eats loads of veg if I do my encouraging act though, so won't complain. Of course we don't have this problem with fruit or cheese...

Lol at your mum libra - my mum doesn't have a clue about babies and has forgotten what age I did things as a baby, so she would be surprised if dd wasn't eating whole roast potatoes by now!

Libralovesbiscuits1975 · 10/01/2009 09:08

Agree about not staring, however my LO currently thinks that food comes accompanied by light flashes in his eyes - can you tell he is my PFB

Aitch · 10/01/2009 09:14

are you eating your dinner at the same time, libra? this is really how they learn. and totally agree about cutting back to one enjoyable meal rather than a few testing ones. i think, due to one thing and another (mostly a lack of organisation on my part) it took us until about 11 months before dd1 was regularly eating three times a day...

Libralovesbiscuits1975 · 10/01/2009 10:18

Hi aitch, we have just started so we don't do every mealtime (say if he is asleep I wouldn't wake him!) but yes if it's breakfast or lunch I eat with him. Supper is at 5 for him so I tend not to but I will sit with him and probably do a few extra of whatever he is having to pick at so he sees. He defintely likes to think about it before starting his meal however

LadyBee · 10/01/2009 18:53

Libra, even if you're not having your supper, you could probably munch a carrot stick, eat a rice cake/muesli bar & drink some water around 5 (you're breastfeeding, right? so a little snack for you is probably not a problem?) I think it really helped my DS when he saw me eating at the same time.
Also could try picking up stuff from his highchair tray and eating it yourself rather than a separate plate for you so he knows what is put in front of him is food good enough for you too.
Not sure if waving rice cakes around is a sign of wanting to drop them - my DS still plays semaphore with rice cakes, I think they're just so easy to hold they're fun for all ages

Libralovesbiscuits1975 · 10/01/2009 19:32

Erm I'm not the original OP, my LO eats fine, he takes a little while to get started each mealtime but that doesn't bother me, part of the ethos of BLW is in their own time.
However I thank you on behalf of the OP for all your suggestions!

LadyBee · 10/01/2009 20:17

oops sorry , somehow LB morphed into Libra while readying the thread...must go and have something to eat

LadyBee · 10/01/2009 20:18

reading...gah

nappyaddict · 20/01/2009 13:35

Is he sitting up completely unaided yet? DS didn't manage to get anything into his mouth until about 8 months which coincided with him learning to sit up unsupported. Not sure if there is a link there or not but just though I'd mention it.

Original poster

LBsmum · 20/01/2009 20:19

Thanks nappyaddict he is quite a strong sitter if that makes sense - and am happy to say that now at 7 months he has calmed down quite a lot and is actually getting some food into his mouth - think this progress is because his hand - mouth co-ordination has improved and he can draw things including toys to his mouth more easily - still very slow process but guess thats how it goes with this approach to weaning

OP posts:

elportodelgato · 20/01/2009 20:25

Hi there - I feel your pain! My LO took about 3-4 weeks to get the hang of the whole food thing - that's 3-4 weeks of me prepping 3 meals a day only to have them thrown around the front room and nothing actually going inside DD. However, it suddenly clicked and one morning over Christmas at my parents I came downstairs to find she had polished off a whole banana (under the supervision of my stepmum). Since then there's no stopping her. But I was really reaching the end of my patience - no matter how much the book tells you to chill out about how much they are eating, it's so hard!

It def helps if I eat with her, chat to her over meals, try not to pay too much attention to what she is up to - if I act like I'm not interested she can eat quite a lot, but if I sit and watch she gets performance anxiety or something... also, although she starts meals quite enthusiastically, this tails off after about 15 mins but she often gets a second wind if I leave her for a while. Someone advised me to not put a time limit on the meals and this has worked for me, even if I think I might lose my mind watching her eat for up to an hour 3x a day! She's obviously inherited her grandad's ability to spin out a mealtime almost endlessly

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