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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

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Original poster

Should I offer advice?

18 replies

mogs0 · 06/01/2009 00:14

I have recently started looking after a baby. He was 6 months when he started coming to me and his mum was just thinking about weaning. She brings random pots of food for him which I feel he's too young for (their left over dinner from the night before that's not been pureed). She was just telling me that he was eating cocktail sausages and bits of quiche over Christmas. I want to tell her that these aren't really the most suitable first foods but is it really my place to do so? Am I being judgy? I don't mean to be, it's just not the way I weaned my ds or any of the children I've looked after over the last 12 years.

I'd like to offer her some advice but am not sure I should say anything unless she asks for it.

OP posts:

Jacksmama · 06/01/2009 00:22

Ooooh. Awkward!!! How old is he now?
Perhaps you could say, "Just wanted to check with you if you'd like me to puree his food that you brought because he's having a bit of trouble with the big pieces". Or, "I happened to have a bit of apple sauce (or banana) or whatever around and he looked interested, do you mind if I feed him that? Because that's what my GP recommended and it went down really well with my kids... do you have a preference?"
It's such an awkward thing, isn't it? My DS is almost 11 months and when I tried baby rice etc at 6 months (because my GP insisted he needed real food, ha ha...) it made him violently ill. And for months after he resisted trying anything. One of my girl friends kept trying to be kind and gave me whatever pureed yummies she made for her (formula-fed) baby, and Jackbaby rejected all of it... until suddenly, a few weeks ago, he started trying (and tolerating) everything. So his first foods have been things that are not generally recommended until 12 months... baguette, creme brulee, ice cream, yoghurt, pineapple, peas...
Anyway, don't know if this is helpful to you but couldn't read and not post. Good luck!

PortAndLemon · 06/01/2009 00:27

Have you heard of baby-led weaning? You might want to check out www.babyledweaning.com or this book.

She may or may not be doing a great interpretation of it, but babies don't necessarily turn green and have their legs drop off just because you don't feed them purees. DD eats more or less what we eat, not pureed, and she does just fine.

Once you have informed yourself about the theory and practice of BLW, then decide whether you ought to say something (if you think the food they are providing is too high in salt, for example). But if you're thinking of butting in based solely on your opinion that babies should have purees then don't.

chipmonkey · 06/01/2009 01:34

It does sound to me like she's practising BLW and might in that case not take kindly to you suggesting purees! Maybe you should ask if she is BLW and take it from there?

KnickersOnMaHead · 06/01/2009 01:54

Message withdrawn

senatorvass · 06/01/2009 02:07

irrespective of BLW or not I think its really nice that you so obviously care and are thoughtful enough to post here looking for advice.

meandjoe · 06/01/2009 08:47

oo it's nice that you care but i'd leave her to it. my ds wouldn't eat anything off a spoon so i had no choice but to give him bits of whatever we were eating. he was weaned completely on finger foods.

BlameItOnTheBogey · 06/01/2009 08:58

I started weaning my DS at 6 months and have ever pureed anything for him. Not sure why I need to really? He likes food and takes it any which way. His favourite is toast soldiers...

It's nice that you care but I think her method is ok.

Original poster

mogs0 · 06/01/2009 16:14

Thanks for the replies. I hadn't heard of BLW but will go and read up on it. I haven't heard the mum mention it so far. She has mentioned how he doesn't really eat the things she gives him so I offered to make some extra food for him to try here.

He gags when I try to give him anything with lumps in it. I offer him some finger foods but he's not really interested in any of it. He loves weetabix though and his mum was finding the only thing he didn't refuse was weetabix.

OP posts:

giantkatestacks · 06/01/2009 16:44

I dont think the mum would be doing blw - surely she wouldnt leave a blw baby with someone without explaining and making sure the person knew what to do in case of choking?

KnickersOnMaHead · 06/01/2009 16:48

Message withdrawn

giantkatestacks · 06/01/2009 16:51

knickers - of course, I just thought it would be unusual to leave a baby with a cm if you were doing blw and not tell them.

lljkk · 06/01/2009 17:22

BLW is just finger foods, I don't know why it even merits a special name as a 'feeding' method. You don't need to have heard of BLW to mostly end up doing it, anyway.

Trying to eat cocktail sausgs without teeth sounds impossible to me, though! Quiche might be okay, but messy (wasteful) if done BLW-style. Aren't those foods a bit salty, too?

Personally I would only suggest some alternate things I could prepare for the baby, I wouldn't know how to begin to say something helpful about the mothers' own choices.

KnickersOnMaHead · 06/01/2009 18:58

Message withdrawn

pispirispis · 06/01/2009 19:01

Is shepherd's pie a finger food? Spag bol? Curry? My dd feeds herself yoghurt on a spoon-that's not a finger food! I know I'm splitting hairs, but there's more to BLW than "just finger foods" and yes, it has been given the name baby-led weaning, but things need a name, don't they? Or else, how would we know what we're talking about?

Personally, I don't think those are great first foods irrespective of whether they're pureed or not, especially the sausages. But we don't know what she gives her baby on a normal day. Because it's so dangerous for a baby to eat too much salt, if I felt concerned that maybe she didn't know about salt and babies, I would say something like, "Ohh, can you get low-salt quiches/sausages? You know, I worry about salt because..." But if I wasn't concerned about this, I wouldn't say anything.

KnickersOnMaHead · 06/01/2009 19:08

Message withdrawn

Original poster

mogs0 · 06/01/2009 19:08

Mum came to collect her baby just as I was feeding him which prompted (by her) a chat about different foods to offer etc. I didn't mention anything about the sausages etc just suggested things I thought suitable for a child of his age.

senatorvass - thank you for your post!

I don't have an issue with the finger food (although, he did gag repeatedly on a very soggy rice cake this afternoon), I'm more concerned about the salt content etc. Anyway, I'll leave it now. Thanks for your interest in my thread!

OP posts:

pispirispis · 06/01/2009 19:18

Don't worry about the gagging, he'll learn soon! Glad you had a chat about it in the end and I do think it is nice of you to be concerned.

Thanks Knickers! It amazing I can put anything down well with the hangover I have (first night out since dd born! 8 months!!)

Original poster

mogs0 · 06/01/2009 19:27

I spent so long typing my last post I missed a few!!!

She's just bought a new blender so intends to puree. I think maybe she's just a bit unsure of what to do for the best which is why I wanted to offer my opinion but I didn't want to make her feel she was doing it "wrong" because, as we all know, there is no right or wrong way. I also know how helpful I find it when I have a few different opinions to help me form my own.

OP posts:

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