thinking of doing BLW, but have some concerns

[cats07]

Hello. DS2 is coming up for 26 weeks and I've been looking into BLW (got the book, been on the website etc). I really like the sound of it, but I have a couple of concerns. The first is the gagging thing. I understand the science behind it and how it's a natural, safety reflex, and reading about it think, oh yes, I'm sure it'll be fine. But talking to DH about it, and thinking about it I wonder if I'll be able to stay as calm if it's actually happening in front of me. How have other people managed? Has it put people off BLW and pushed them towards spoon fed weaning?

My other query is what about when you are eating in front of other people? We are going to my parents for Christmas and have the in-laws here for New Year, and I can just imagine the tension, especially if there is a gagging incident! Both sets of parents are lovely and non-interfering, I just think from chats we've had about it, BLW is very far from their comfort zones. I'd be interested to hear how you have 'sold it' in these kind of situations!

We did BLW with 2nd child..... tbh I don't remember gagging that was any different to dd, who was traditionally fed mushed up wall paper paste. In both cases a whack on the back and a finger down the throat to remove the offending item worked a treat.

Ds decided that he was ready and started taking food off peoples plates. Olives to start, but also bread, bananas, thick soup, curry sauce and rice, pasta with anything tickled his fancy as well.

Prehaps just start by having easily digestible things on a plate that he can reach when you are all sat around eating dinner. If he wants to try he can if not milk feed him like normal.

Hello! DS is two months in now and having a fantastic time. I too was wholly fearful of the gagging - in fact the night before I had decided to offer him solid food I woke up in a cold sweat going ARGH WHAT AM I DOING. Anyway it was fine really.

He gagged quite a bit in the early days and you get used to it really quickly and then one day you just notice they've pretty much stopped doing it. I really did manage to stay calm and doing the encouraging chewing noises type thing. He was not in the least bit bothered by it.

Also you quickly realise just how good the whole mechanism is - he had a bit of steak one day and it was a bit tenderer than usual and a huge chunk just came off in his mouth. I was internally going OMG OMG but he just gradually worked it towards the front of his mouth until it fell out.

Family - yes I dreaded this too. My sister is quite hysterical and always thinks children are going to choke and MIL thinks I am quite bonkers in all my child rearing choices I think but manages to keep stuum. I think I was most worried about me being tense and that whole atmosphere rubbing off on DS IYSWIM. Anyway, once they had seen it in action they were impressed. Luckily he'd been eating for over a month by then so not much gagging and quite a lot of eating. By Christmas you little one should be confident and comfortable with it all - as will you!

Sorry for the missive but am so glad we chose this route now as DS is eating so well and really enjoying it - it's a pleasure to see (though not to clean up after!)

I think the main thing is to trust the child's own natural abilities. Gagging is a bit like learning to get down from standing up holding on to something - they just have to do it and sometimes knock their head in order to learn how to do it safely. If you wrap your child in cotton wool they won't learn. If you see them wretch like they are going to be sick, they are red in the eyes/ face, eyes watering, they are gagging. The only main results from this is either they swallow (food passes sensitive part of back of throat) or they will spit out the offending item or they will be sick. So not really that bad as long as you can cope with sick. From what I hear choking is very different, loss of colour from face lack of breathing. Its very unusual too.

I disagree with anifrangapani, with gagging you should definitely not whack them on the back. Just reassure them to cough themselves and have a calm voice and manner. How to deal with choking is a different thing - I'd follow proper advice from NHSDirect

The second problem, yes other people still worry when you don't, you just have to reassure them. I would leave off the child eating in front of others until you're happy dealing with gagging incidents.

In addition, I would say please do do BLW, now DS is 10 MO he is eating normal meals, just with his hands. Quite a few of his puree-weaned friends are still having problems with lumps and seem far behind now.

In MamanJoJoBebe or whatever it's called, they sell these things that look like the netted bags you put in the washing machine, they are attached to a handle so you can put harder foods or things your nervous about in there and baby can chew and suck and get all the flavours and goodness without risk of choking. Might be worth a try until you build your confidence in the whole thing.
I mush fed til about 10 months and wish I'd moved onto finger food sooner.

Totally agree with MrsJasmin. I should have mentioned I did a first aid course pre-weaning that just covered infant and child resus and choking. It helped me as I knew I could cope if the worst happened and also taught the difference between gagging and choking (as described by MrsJ). Wacking them on the back and/or sticking you finger in their mouth can move an object in the wrong direction. This is all really unlikely though! As I said DS cope admirably with all sorts of shapes and sizes of food now. I think those net things are grim as it doesn't give the baby the opportunity to learn about how to hold food which is such a big part of the process i.e. trying to pick up a slippery bit of mango.

I was scared of gagging and the first few times I stuck my fingers in to pull food out. Now I just let her gag and spit it out (but it took a while!!)

Sorry "whack" was being flippant.

Hi My DD is 8 months and only had pear twice, second time she gagged and I was too scared to try again - tonight I wanted to give her a baby rice cake but she was too scared, so I am following this thread with interest

Meant I was too scared, not DD!

I have been trying NLW since ds was 6 months. 1 and a half months later I am doing a mixture of spoon feeding and BLW. Thsi si because he just didnt seem to get anything down him and, with runny stuff like porridge and lentil stew, I found the mess more difficult to bear than I thought I would. He still prefers to feed himself though but it frustrates me in watching him trying to get something in his mouth and keep it in,

Is this the point?

(I am exhausted from bf-ing a hungry baby through the night though)

Decide you are going to give them ten seconds before you "help". They are not going to choke in ten seconds. And they will almost always (exception: a random leaf that DD had found somewhere and decided to BLW herself on) manage to shift the offending morsel by gagging and spitting out or moving forward in the mouth and reprocessing. And even with the leaf, she didn't choke -- it was just very long and stringy and was taking her ages to get out, so I helped take it out of her mouth by grabbing one end and pulling.

And I'd done the first aid course too, which helped give me confidence that I'd know what to do if she did choke (and that it was actually very rare).

MIL is largely supportive although it does tend to go in one ear and out the other. My mother clearly thinks it's all trendy twaddle and itches to mash everything. We tend to reach a compromise when we're at her house whereby she gets to mash some stuff and I get to give some stuff to DD whole .

DD doesn't get huge amounts down her but is virtually spherical so that doesn't bother me unduly. And I've been much happier since I decided to just relax and go with the mess (had previously been leaning towards giving her things that wouldn't make too much mess).

With regards to parents and in laws, remind them that they weaned around 4 months (probably) and that by 6 months you were on finger foods (probably)

I think the generation before will forget that when we started at 4 months, we started on puree because they were 4 months old. By 6 months, our babies were on mash and finger foods. You will just be cutting out the puree stage that is needed 4-6 months old

I had a demon bf'er 16 years ago, he skipped the puree stage as her was a late weaner (for the time, 6 months)

Gagging:

Sit so you're not too close to him so that if you get up to it (the gag, I'm not calling your son an it) he will have cleared it by the time you get to him. You'll also find that gags don't tend to bother babies (compared to a choke) and they won't appreciate the interference. One tip that is popular on Aitch's site is to over exaggerate eating. Make big chewing motions and noises, it will encourage them to copy you and also be bit of distraction - for both of you!

How old will he be at Christmas? Getting close to 8 months? By 7 months Tink was eating her meals without any special preparation - beyond cutting because she hadn't gotten around to cutlery - she was also eating loads by then (same sized meal as her cousins then stealing theirs).

I don't like the mesh things and a poll on the Yahoo group said the same. It makes the pieces very small so they're more likely to choke because the bits are too small for them to be able to control properly for themselves.

Re eating in front of people....am (mostly) BLW DS. His first taste of food was at a family Sunday lunch - sticks of parsnip and carrot.

Cue lots of faces from assorted relatives while I expounded the benefits.

Then he started gagging. While everyone was flapping I remained calm and did the whole "om nom nom" thing while coolly explaining that he wasn't choking and it was fine.

He then did a mahoosive vomit!

Everyone was very .

However I have triumphed as it is only 2 weeks later and they have seen him scoff down whole pears (in slices obviously) and rusks with no fuss.

Don't know what I am getting at really, just waffling!