BLW- Has anyone else had negative reations from their partners?

[cafebistro]

Ive just started weaning my 7 month old DD and have decided to do the BLW route. Partly because its less hassle than pureeing for hours and also because ive had real problems with my DS diet that I think is linked to the fact that he had little or no finger food for a long time as a baby.

Ive tried DD with lots of different veg sticks, rice cakes ( she's chewing on a bread crust with hummous on at the moment) and she seems to really enjoy it.
The problem is DP, he is convinced ive lost it and that she'll choke! Im very careful and always sit with her when she's eating but she does retch sometimes and then recovers herself. If she does it and DP is there he goes mad...saying what am I giving her big chunks for, am I stupid, do I want her to choke? I trained as a childrens nurse, im hardly going to sit there while my baby chokes am I?

Ive resorted to giving her finger food a lunchtime when he's at work and then giving purrees when he's around at tea time.

has anyone else experienced this negativity?

I pretty muvh gave ds finger food from a very early age. It wasn't because I was doing BLW (had never heard of it) but because I was living abroad for the time we started weaning. I did dpo a bit of puring but had no food proocessor so it was mostly mashed rather than pureed really. Also ds would lunge at my bananas when i was eating them I'd let him eat it as it was instead of mashing. I gave him soft fruit and veg etc and rice cakes etc as well as mashed food.

He did gag sometimes but I knew it wasn't the same as choking - I'm not sure how I knew I just did. Dh always panicked more than me but because ds is our first (our only in fact) and because we had no real advice on weaning he just assumed it was normal (which it was). I think I's have had more trouble with him (DH that is) if he had expected ds to start only on pureed food.

I;m not sure what to suggest to allay your dh's fears but the gagging reflex is normal although I do appreciate it can be worrying.

I can understand how your DP feels, its scary! DS2 is getting a mix of finger foods and purees which is working really well for us but both DH and are I found it quite stressful (although have got really good at hiding it from DS!)

Try explaining to him the difference between a gag and a choke. Gagging as actually good as its strengthening their throat muscles in the event of them actually getting something stuck. Also make sure he knows what to do in the event of ds choking. Unfortunately he's just going to have to get over it. Its important he doesn't pass his anxieties on to ds so I would even be tempted to be quite firm with him and say that if he doesn't like it he needs to be in another room for now.

IME the gagging phase is short. Once DC learn to control the movement of the food in their mouths gagging becomes very occasional.

If you can't make DP understand that gagging is a normal part of the process then it's probably best to remove him from the process until he can relax about your DDs feeding. You can either carry on doing puree when he's around or ask him not to be in the room when your DD is eating. I don't think you should mislead him about how you are weaning your DD, but because his fear will have a negative effect on her.

Hopfully your DP will chill out about weaning soon.

I assume you've given him Gill Rapley's paper to read.

DeJaVous- No I havent given him anything to read, thats prob where Im going wrong! I just assume that he will trust me on issues like this as in the past has always gone along with what I wanted to do regarding feeding. I'll have to Google Gill Rapley, thanks!

Get thee to Aitches blog She's got some good links.

The section 'wont he choke' in this is probably good for DP to read.

Thanks again DeJaVous

My DH has opposed to BLW but for different reasons. He sort of wants to make sure that she gets lots of food so she can cut down on milk, sleep through the night and start planning for DC2. In my case, I prefer her to enjoy the food the way its meant to be eaten. Trying to feed her has been a nightmare in the past and she gets colic/constipation because she eats more than what she can handle.

I hope you can sort out the problems with your DH. Its not good if you are both stressed whenever your DD is eating. That might put her off.