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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

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Original poster

Stopping BF conundrum...

11 replies

ChukkyPig · 13/09/2008 23:00

DD is 13 mo. She has only had one feed a day for ages, first thing in the morning, I bring her into bed when she wakes up and she has a feed while I have a snooze.

All fine and dandy.

But I do think that I want to wean her from the breast now.

Firstly because DH and I have been trying for a baby for ages, and I suspect that it is BF that is adversely affecting my fertility.

Secondly because my boobs still leak a shocker, and though I have been able to wear a normal bra during the day for a month now I still leak badly at night if I'm not padded up, and I really hate wearing a bra in bed, and frankly I'm pissed off with it.

DD stuffs herself with food and cows milk all day, and has taken to pointing down my t-shirt to ask for real food (when I offer a boob she shakes her head then looks chuffed when I get her a snack).

BUT I like feeding her (she's not a very affectionate baby so it's the only cuddle I get) and I would feel guilty if I stopped.

Has anyone else had this conumdrum? What is the best way of weaning? And how do you do it without feeling guilty???

OP posts:

Original poster

ChukkyPig · 13/09/2008 23:32

Anyone?

OP posts:

moondog · 13/09/2008 23:35

If it would make you feel guilty, I wouldn't stop to be honest.
No expert but can't see that 1 feed a day would have great impact on fertility.
If you still want to cut it out, why not go away for a few days? She might just forget about it.

Well done for going for so long btw.

mawbroon · 13/09/2008 23:46

There is a book from La Leche League called How weaning happens. It won't tell you what to do, but it has quite a lot of things to think about with regards to weaning.

Original poster

ChukkyPig · 13/09/2008 23:48

Ah well I went back to work (part time) last week and I didn't feed her on the second morning - we really aren't going to have time to do it every morning I would guess and I don't want her getting too fixed on her morning feed - so she doesn't get upset if we miss it or if I go to work before she gets up (when DH shifts mean he's off).

Going away for a few days out of the question - just can't imagine how DD or DH would manage that one! (DH especially would look a bit sad I think!)

Maybe I'll give it another month or two, and see how things are when I'm settled in work.

I also worry about there being a point where BF becomes less about calories and more about comfort, and that once you've gone into the second stage weaning becomes a lot harder all round (unless you wait until they are ready, which could be some years).

OP posts:

moondog · 13/09/2008 23:50

Nothing wrong with it being about comfort though is there?
Why deny a baby something that makes her feel happy and safe?

mawbroon · 13/09/2008 23:53

My ds is still feeding at almost age 3 and I have found breastfeeding has been fantastic for tantrum prevention, and during illness.

Re your fertility, have you been charting at all to see what is going on with your cycle? I would recommend "Taking charge of your fertility" by Toni Weschler for more information.

You also have to consider how you would feel if you weaned her and then still were unable to conceive.

Original poster

ChukkyPig · 13/09/2008 23:55

Nothing wrong with it, no, I just have visions of it going on for years, and I worry about the fertility thing. While she's young she's still fairly pliable but if I try to deny her something she sees as a big comfort when she's older and more determined I think I might have a serious fight on my hands (a fight which I'd give up in about 5 mins).

So if my fertility is being affected (I'm not getting any younger) I kind of need to sort it out now. But not because I really want to IYSWIM. Although not waking up in a puddle would be nice...

OP posts:

Original poster

ChukkyPig · 13/09/2008 23:59

mawbroon I hadn't thought about that possibility. I would feel pretty gutted.

I was doing ov sticks for a couple of months but I think maybe it was a bit soon after the birth (was around 7 months to 10 months we had a proper go).

Googling your book... With charting do have have to take your temperature or something? And do things with mucous?

OP posts:

mawbroon · 14/09/2008 19:46

Yes, that's the general idea Chukky.

Ov sticks can be a bit hit or miss. It is all explained in the book.

Original poster

ChukkyPig · 15/09/2008 20:40

Thanks mawbroon will take a look!

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RhinestoneCowgirl · 15/09/2008 20:50

Chukkypig - DS was 20 months old and had been on one feed a day for a few months when I got pg, so I don't think there is a simple link between bf/fertility, it will be different for everyone.

I finally stopped bf him just before his 2nd birthday as I was getting increasingly uncomfortable due to poor pg boobs. It wasn't a traumatic procedure, we stopped pretty gradually, going from one feed in the morning to one every few days, he stopped asking after a while and I didn't offer. However, if I wasn't pg I would probably have let him continue, as it would come in handy around tantrum time! Great when they are ill too.

If anything stopping at the point we did was easier than at around a year, as he had so much language that I could explain things to him. He still loves my 'mulks' and we talk about how the new baby will feed from them.

DS was also apparently bf-ing his toy penguin in the bath tonight...

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