The best way to stop bfing at 20 mnths????

[Ab31]

I feel the time has come. DD feeds at bedtime (to sleep) and first thing in the morning. How do I stop???

I have no advice but I will watch this thread with interest .

My DD is nearly 18 months and I wish she would give it up. It wouldn't be too bad if it was just morning & night but she comes and gets it whenever she wants, pulling at my top & saying "Booby, booby", which is embarrassing when we are out .

The annoying thing is she only wants it for comfort. She will come to me when she has just eaten and will throw her beaker if I offer this instead. She can go all day without a bf when I'm at work (very rare as I mostly do nights) or go out.

I did speak to my Health Visitor about it but all she said was just to refuse it and ignore her objections . I did try this briefly but I couldn't cope with the tantrums and crying and relented.

Whilst I was determined to breastfeed when she was born and never wanted her to have formula milk, I never expected to still be bf'ing at 18 months! I hope some others come along with some advice.

DD & I stopped at 20 months. She stopped asking for her morning feed at around 18 months & I stopped offering the evening feed at 20 months - she asked for it occasionally for about a week & then forgot all about it.

She has a cup of milk now in the evening& has forgotten all about BF.

I had no engorgement at all doing it this way

I too will watch this thread for any advice. My DS is 20 months and still loves his night time feed (to sleep also - never been any other way) and morning feed (which is at 4.30 when neither of us are really ready to get up!!)

At the moment he feeds for 10 minutes maximum at night and he's asleep nicely - I am worried that not feeding him would cause unnecessary upset. Surely he will get fed up of it soon?

I've heard that getting you husband/partner to help settle your child at bedtime can work as your milk scent is far too tempting!!!? Unfortunately I'm alone in bringing up DS and it has only ever been me at bedtime. Oh, and we have to share a room which may not help either.

Another thought I've had is to just wait until he is so tired that he would drop off to sleep by himself at some point and forget about the feed - but my DS is full of fun and would just keep playing or looking at books for hours.

Hopefully there will be some encouraging advice coming your way Ab31 which I could pinch too! Good luck x

Kustcantremember...ditto to feeding to sleep, ditto to the 4.30am thing and ditto to having to share a room!
I suppose cold turkey might be the answer but I sense that it would be awful...

Hi Ab31 - the thought of cold turkey seems awful to me too. Surely one day (soon) they will just decide that they have had enough and self wean which is what I've heard other mum's say. Do you think we will be so lucky? I've a gut feeling thats a 'no' for me - how about you?

Personnally I've never warmed to the idea of controlled crying - maybe I'm just too soft. But I'm not going to beat myself up about it because my DS is so happy and fun pretty much all the time so if I am too soft its not doing him any harm.

I do hope you get some response to your post - I eagerly await......

This evening we had the unusual situation of not falling asleep feeding and when I put her down she cried for an hour before finally falling asleep. Can't bear the thought of doing that every day if we went cold turkey. Although maybe if it was all the time they'd get the hang of it Justcantremember. And maybe if there wasn't 'boobie' to wake them up they'd sleep till 7!! And maybe pigs really might fly...
There's a definite lack of encouraging advice here!

Did your little girl refuse to be fed or did you decide not to feed her for bedtime? I haven't had that happen yet - but maybe thats your sign that she's self weaning?? Its not nice hearing them crying is it and I totally understand your thoughts if you did go cold turkey.

Is your DD in a bed or still in a cot? My DS has been in a bed for some time now and although he is really good in it and enjoys his little bed I do wonder whether there are tough times ahead when he isn't fed and doesn't calmly drift off to sleep.

I do seem to think we are the only two who have this to think about - I really thought that there would be some more advice too. A baby that sleep right through the night would be heavenly - I don't know about you but I haven't slept a solid nights sleep for 20 months plus!! Or even had 5 straight hours sleep. . . .one day maybe - when those pigs you mentioned suddenly lift off!

The No-Cry Sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley has very gentle ways to stop feeding to sleep - might help a bit.

Great, i'll have a look at that. No, she fed but just didn't fall asleep - unusually. She's shown no sign of self weaning at all. I do wonder if I wasn't feeding her when she wakes at 4.30(and considering it morning which it so isn't!) whether she'd gradually stop waking for it .
She's still in a cot...

Hi Ab31 - just wondering how you are getting on? Have you decided upon your mornings starting at 4.30 yet?? I'm not sure I could last the day if I did that - but good for you if you have tried it.

I'm baffled by the way a child just decides one day 'no more bedtime feed'? I'm trying a new plan at the moment - although not very strictly as one day differs so much from the next. I feed a little - both sides, until Ds is getting drowsy, then I gently talk to him by saying nana's gone to bed - sshhh, all the tractors have gone to bed - sshhh, all the cars .....etc etc etc. and he calmly has closed his eyes and dozed off!! This has only been tried a few times so far but its something else to try for me anyhow. Gradually I think I will not feed for as long but do the 'sshhh' thing with all his favorite things/people and hope for the best!!?

I do hope you are ok x