A month before return to work, no bottles and weaning is all over the place

[ApuskiDusky]

Help, I need some advice on what to do here.

Ds, 10 months, was exclusively breast-fed, never took to a bottle, started weaning at 6 months.

Because he's never taken a bottle, I was hoping that by the time I was going back to work he'd be well established on solids, and able to take enough liquid in the day to get by, and then I'd breast feed him morning, evening and if needed at night.

Instead, because he's taking such variable amounts of solids, I am breastfeeding a lot some days, and barely at all on others. There's no way his cup consumption can match what he takes on a heavy milk day at the moment.

So, do I focus on trying to improve solids intake, his ability to cope with a cup, or try to relax about it, trusting that things will be better in a month?

Relaxing seems the hard option - I am unreasonably anxious about this, not sure why. And I fear my anxiety is creating pressure on his eating.

I would try and relax and just go with the flow.
you'll probably find that when you're in work and he doesn't get the option of feeding then he'll take more solids and other drinks anyway

Hi, I second the above. It all seems so vitally important at the moment and you are monitoring everything he takes in; but once he's been at nursery for a few days and you can see he's survived without you, you'll be able to relax. So many friends were in this same position, or trying desperately to get their los to take a bottle before they started nursery, having left it a bit late, and it all worked out.

He will be different when you're not there and will take whatever food and drink he needs. He'll be very glad of a big bf when you get home, I'm sure and you'll be glad to give it to him.

I feel like I'm constantly trying to fight off the "if he eats lots, then everything will be better - behaviour, sleeping etc" messages in my head, when I know that creating pressure is the worst thing I can do. Grr at myself!

Mrsbabookaloo, I just read on a different thread that you said that it was nice to have your advice appreciated, and felt bad that I hadn't explicitly done so - so to thisisyesterday and to you, thank you very much!! You are both talking sense.

my dd was very similar though a little younger when i returned to work. and eating enough solids. but still breastfeeding an awful lot.

playtex bottles were a lifesaver (passed on from another mumsnetter & i've given them to another one now). she just took to them immediately, having refused every other type of bottle i'd tried her with. independent chemists are your best bet to buy them.

these ones.

uk supplier

Have you tried different bottles? I struggled for months getting DD to take a bottle, tried avent, tommie tippie closer to nature, boots etc. Then just when I had nearly given up, I bought a NUK bottle, and thought, well if this one doesnt work, I will give up. She took it straight away! They are fab and have the anti colic bit too. And you can get them in pink/blue etc if you like!

Thanks, for the price it looks worth a go, I haven't come across these in my previous bottle explorations.

honestly, they were a revelation . you need the outer holder, then drop in bits. these are meant to be disposable but you can definitely reuse them (they look a bit like giant condoms.....). then you need the teat. so it's a bit of faff to begin with, but so worth it. good luck!

oh, & it's the latex teats you want, not the silicone ones.

Seriously, have you tried NUK ones? They are fab and you dont need any of those disposable bits, just a normal bottle. AND if you have an avent bottle, you can just buy a NUK teat as it fits those bottles too.

Thank you apuskidusky: I'm now acknowledging your acknowledgement, and it could all get a bit silly.

I said that altho it's nice, you can't always expect it...I hadn't gone off in a huff or anything!

Good luck: I know it will all work out. Once they're one you can breathe a bit of a sigh of relief and start giving them Gregg's sausage rolls relaxing a bit.

Damn my first attempt at striking words out didn't work. And it's all the rage on here you know.

Hello OP,
I would just say don't worry. I totally failed to prepare DD for nursery FT at 6 months - she wouldn't drink milk/formula/water anything from a bottle, only ate mushed solids when she felt like it. For the first two weeks of nursery, she refused everything (while screaming for most of the day) and the patient and excellent staff ended up syringe feeding her water! (Just a little bit of guilt). But she did get the gist because babies do have a survival instinct. I would think a 10 mo can look around and figure out what everyone else is doing, and copy. In our nursery, the 10mo know whose milk beaker is whose... they certainly understand how to use them.

For me, going back to work was a terrifying prospect and I wanted to control each aspect, and plenty of other mums I work with have said they felt the same, so I think it is really very normal to really really worry about how the baby will be and want to control it all. Trouble is with babies is that how much they eat/drink on a given day is really difficult to control (!), and a challenge you are, on balance, not likely to win. Of course, I did not realise this at the time either!

At 10 mo babies can manage a slow flow beaker I think, maybe that would work, but even if not, the nursery are not going to let your DS starve or dehydrate. They will syringe water into him if they really have to, but he is old enough to probably avoid that. One of the Mum's at our nursery went in every lunch time to BF her DS, never an option for me, but if you can, then do it. You are allowed time at work to express, and arguably, actually BF is a form of expressing...!

The other thing is that, assuming your DS is going to nursery, they do at least three meals a day IME, so if you are only giving him two solid meals, maybe upping the number would help. I got it all wrong with DD, she wanted interesting chunky food at nursery, and I was still feeding her bland gloop...once she got it, she was a lot more hungry for solids.

Also, a lot changes in a month with babies, and he may be more in favour of it all in a months time. Maybe try cups of water and play with him, my DD was much more into cups and never really did the bottle thing, although beaker thing did work, but never with milk...

Whatever happens, good luck, it is a difficult time, but it will all work out once you get into the new routine.