Weaning advice - true or false?

[BellaBear]

(preferably with some back up other than just 'instinct'!)

Things I have been told recently (DS is 24 weeks and we'll start weaning in a couple of weeks - in my whole circle of friends with babies which is quite large I know of ONE other baby who is waiting until 6 months to wean)

A 'I had to wean my DS at 17 weeks as he is such a big baby'

B 'It's better to start on purees as it is more natural this way'

C 'If you wait until 6 months to wean, you have to introduce new tastes (eg meat) faster than you would have done had you weaned earlier'

D 'The first time I gave DD baby rice, she slept through the night' (Honestly, this must have been coincidence, right????)

E 'I couldn't have waited, DS was so interested in food'

I am genuinely interested in what others think, I am not trying to trash these views at all, this is the only place where there seems to be support for delaying solids and I am interested in proper reasons why these views MAY not be correct. Or are correct.

BB I haven't even had a conversation with anyone about when they wean their baby. Just answer their questions about why I haven't weaned mine yet. The other day, there were about 6 mums spoon-feeding their babies while I bf ds (the only one still bf) and they were all asking me why he was still not weaned (at 5mo!). It wasn't enough that I said they were the guidelines. It wasn't enough that I said I worried about allergies (even though I had eczema/dairy allergy as a child, and 4 out of their 6 babies have eczema!). In the end I had to make out I am mentally incapable of breaking a rule ever (not true) just to stop them harrassing badgering asking me.

Then a couple of days later one of the women said "I did feel you were forced to justify yourself a lot. It's entirely up to you of course. But why won't you try a bottle of formula to help him sleep?"

I find this really interesting as my mum and dad are already asking when DS will be weaned (he is 3 months). They aren't pressuring me - they just wondered if guidelines had changed from when I was weaned and were really surprised that he will be milk only for another 3 months.

I think so much is learned wisdom from parents and "it was good enough for me" that people don't follow the guidelines as they think they know better - in many cases they don't but equally in many cases they do - because it is about when your baby is physically ready not about 25+6 being wrong and 26+1 being right. There is a danger that people can get quite 'holier than thou' about it (and I speak as someone who wants to wait until 6 months if possible and thinks my best friend who did it at 16+4 was very wrong)

When all said and done, 6 months is probably an arbitrary date given by the government because that is when the majority of babies are physically capable of taking food so I don't think it is necessarily more correct for any individual baby than slightly earlier weaning may be, but it is a safer bet that your baby is ready by then. I don't want to wean until 6 months and won't do it at 4 months, but when he gets to 5 months I'll start watching to see when I think he is ready and if I end up being a week or two earlier then I won't think I've done a bad job.

But I agree A-F are all bollocks reasons and C is actually very much a positive for waiting! Why worry about what to give them when you can just start giving them pretty much everything?

Actually, I think it is 6 months because research has shown that no babies have guts that are ready at 4 months and all babies have guts that are ready at 6 months and there is no way of knowing whether your baby's gut is ready so best to wait until 6 months when you can be sure. And there is absolutely no harm in just milk until then.

(correct me if I am wrong)

yes, I have specifically tried to avoid sounding holier than thou in RL, which is why I won't discuss it in RL - so I am venting here!

Where are all the Mnetters in RL?!

I am quite sure of our decision to wait until 6mths, and to take it slowly now that we are here, but I am not strong enough to anrgue my case in RL and end up mumbling a bit and not saying much at all.

Would just love to meet someone to chat to who was more on my wavelength

Bellabear I think you are right, it's about gut maturity (I think)

Hi Bella - I didn't mean to make it sound critical of you so sorry if I did. I'm firmly in the wait until 6 months camp as well (although conscious that i'll see what happens as i've still a few months to go), but i bet this could be yet another one of those things mums can end up getting divisive on - and RL tends to spill over here as well! But actually I'm with you - was very when my friend told me she weaned her baby at 16+4 because he needed food and they couldn't hold out any longer, but by the time she told me he was already 18 weeks and on three meals a day so there was little point me arguing...

My understanding of the gut thing is that it stops being permeable somewhere between 4 and 6 months, and although there is no way of knowing if it has, there are other physical signs which indicate that this has probably happened - so if your baby is sitting up, able to pick up food, loss of tongue thrust reflex etc. then it is likely that their gut is developed enough for food and so then there is less concern around weaning.

Glad it's not just me then. DD turns 6 months this week and I am the only 'real' person I know who has waited. It has been hard, I admit. Several times I've been so tempted to give her things from my plate but I was determined to do this as well as I could (maybe to make up for failure to bf?).

But everyone else went to the same classes as me, we were all advised 6 months. So why do people disregard it so easily?

HQ thanks for expanding, yes I think you are correct (sorry, I read 'signs' and thought 'baby reaching out for food' which is obviously not concrete for being ready to wean unless he is also ready to change channel on the TV, use a phone, drive etc )

DS is 24 weeks and so far can pick things up if they are the right shape. I think he will be sitting soon, but how can you tell if he has lost the tongue thrust reflex? I mean, without putting food in his mouth? (Gneuine question!)

Eyeballs - you say we are all advised to wait, yet in my NCT group, at least four different HVs have advised my friends to wean early because of large baby or waking at night, or poor sleep generally at that as long as it isn't before 17 weeks, it is okay.

BB I am hoping to try baby led weaning. That means if ds puts food in the front of his mouth, as I understand it, he will only be able to move it to the back of his mouth if that tongue thrust reflex is gone. So, I think the only way to know is not by putting food in his mouth, but by allowing him to put food in his mouth

BB i think that is the problem - everyone gets the same advice en masse, but then individuals speak to their HV/GP?/mum/whatever and then solids are offered if baby is big/small/colicy/not sleeping/etc!

SIL's h, told her to start weaning her 3 1/2 month old baby as she was "hungry", well she must have been as she was eating her hands and having longer breastfeeds.

Nothing then about a normal growth spurt around 4 months!!!
He thinks he knows EVERYTHING about babies as this is their pfb and he's a dr.

I had the pleasure of their company for a week recently and was made to feel that I knew nothing about babies, despite the fact I've had 2 and have looked after them for 14 years.

I started to wean dd1 at 6 months and dd2 at 6 1/2 months.

hmmm. ultimately though, all babies are different.

And ultimately, it's easy to sit here now and say that weaning at 4 months is early weaning. But that's only been the case in the past 5 years. So what you're saying by dismissing all these "early" weaning parents is saying that they all had it wrong and because you know what the guidelines are you're all right and they're not. Which is bullshit.

No-one should have to justify when and why they weaned their babies when they did. Every baby is different and there is no magic switch that turns on at 26 weeks. Some babies need weaning earlier and others later.

I weaned my ds at 16 weeks, as per the guidelines back then. And you know what? there is absolutely no way on this earth I could have waited until he was 6 months. It had nothing to do with sleeping through the night, nothing to do with how big he was. He was starving and screaming for food but rejecting his milk. He would drink half a bottle and then cry and cry because he was hungry but he didn't want the milk. So I gave him one teaspoon of baby rice which he gobbled down (he even opened his mouth for the food first time) and after that even his milk consumption went up again with the added solid food. So I defy anyone who tells me that I didn't know my own baby and that because some guideline saay you should wait I was in the wrong. Because I wasn't.

And if I had another baby I would do it all again.

Iirc the concept of blw is that the baby shows interest in food and puts what he wants into his mouth, except apparently babies are only allowed to be interested in food if they can actually pick it up themselves. anything before that and its wrong. so given all babies develop at different rates, if a baby never shows interest in finger soods does that mean he never gets weaned?

meant to add, altho' he's a dr he has had not much to do with babies and can't stand nurses so any advice I gave them re weaning was always going to be incorrect.

Guidelines are only guidelines and will not fit every baby but I personally think 12 weeks is too early to wean a baby as in sil's case

I read somewhere that the reason the guidelines were changed to 6 months in this country was because so many people weaned their babies from 8 weeks. so the thinking was that if the posts were moved then people would wean at 4 months rather than 2, iyswim?

There is also a lot of evidence to suggest that introducing certain food later actually increases the chance of alergies. E.g. there is quite a comprehensive study ongoing at the moment to assess the risk of introducing nuts, and the thinking is that nuts are often introduced too late (presumably because of the fear of nut alergies which can be life-threatening) which results in more children actually developing alergies than would if they were introduced earlier.

also it's very hard to have a blanket guide line for the whole world, as different countries do things at different times for different reasons.

so for example in Africa the preferred thing to do is to exclusively bf until 6 months, because the child has then developed a better immune system, so when children are weaned at 6 months they are less likely to develop illnesses that are carried in contaminated water. In this country we don't have that issue.

Also the guidelines are different for bf/ff babies, and the guidelines for ff babies do say between 4-6 months.

Have heard that too, in the USA I think, mums are not told to avoid peanuts during pregnancy and statistically have a far lower rate of peanut allergy than we have.

I just wonder how we would all cope if we were just left to get on with things and used our initiative when it comes to our children.
We're made to feel that we have to adhere to guidelines or else.
I personally only waited until 6 months as had tried earlier with dd1 but it was a bit of a disaster and dd2 didn't show any interest in food whatsoever but now will try anything.

wannabe, the guidelines for breastfed and formula fed babies re weaning are the same.. it is 26 weeks according to the NHS and DoH weaning advice

So, sil's h was completely wrong in telling her to wean their exclusively BF 12 week old baby!

well, yes, IMO

babies have growth spurts

the best thing for a breastfed baby who is having a growth spurt is to go to the breast as much as they want to to make sure supply and demand are matched.

adding food into the equation can undermine breastfeeding

and there is a lot of evidence that weaning before 17 weeks is really a bad idea.

and that waiting until around 26 weeks, or at least until they baby is showing real signs of readiness is better.

26 weeks i agree, should not be a blanket rule. but parents should be educated about the true signs of readiness and the potential harm from early weaning.

so that they can make an informed decision

Did try to tell sil about current guidelines re weaning but was told "but h is a doctor and he said she was ready"

dh's family really irritate me, can you tell?

er, yes , i can tell

thing is doctors are general practitioners. so they know some stuff about a lot of different things.. and then if they need to refer you , they can do. i have the utmost respect for GPs , but i do wonder how many are absolutely up to date with correct weaning advice

having longer breastfeeds and discovering you can suck your hand is hardly an indication of gut maturity..

wannabe, there is so much misinformation in your posts I think they should come with a health warning

I do hope people don't read what you say - with your haughty, authoritative tone - and assume you know what you are talking about.

Sheesh.

Also love the way 'Africa' is treated as a whole homogenous culture with the same weaning practices for the same reasons...