Weaning advice - true or false?

[BellaBear]

(preferably with some back up other than just 'instinct'!)

Things I have been told recently (DS is 24 weeks and we'll start weaning in a couple of weeks - in my whole circle of friends with babies which is quite large I know of ONE other baby who is waiting until 6 months to wean)

A 'I had to wean my DS at 17 weeks as he is such a big baby'

B 'It's better to start on purees as it is more natural this way'

C 'If you wait until 6 months to wean, you have to introduce new tastes (eg meat) faster than you would have done had you weaned earlier'

D 'The first time I gave DD baby rice, she slept through the night' (Honestly, this must have been coincidence, right????)

E 'I couldn't have waited, DS was so interested in food'

I am genuinely interested in what others think, I am not trying to trash these views at all, this is the only place where there seems to be support for delaying solids and I am interested in proper reasons why these views MAY not be correct. Or are correct.

I would say C was kinda true - in that you can introduce new tastes faster, if you wait. Which is a good thing, ime, as it means less faffing about trying to figure out what your baby can eat, when you're out and about. (as in, you can just feed them table scraps)

A is the usual rubbish.

B is bizarre, what is 'natural' about purees?

D, yes, coincidence.

E - well, I fear what happens when her child gets interested in cars. Do you live near them? Can you get them to call you when their 2-year-old gets behind the wheel, so you can be sure to be off the streets that day?

NQC - I think some cavewoman image of mushing up food with B

they are all crapola in my opinion

if your baby is big, they got big on milk, so it is obviously doing such a great job, why add more?

purees -- well, maybe it is more natural, but it is so much more effort! although unless we used to pre chew food and then give it to babies, is it more natural?

you don;t have to wean quicker.. but it might well be quicker as they can eat everything, rather than having to wait. there is no window of opportunity you miss

definitely a coincidence if baby slept after a bit of rice. how can it be more filling and satisfying, in terms of volume alone, than milk

you could wait. babies are interested in everyhting, you would not let them drink alcohol or tea just because they were looking at you whilst you were drinking

at the end of the day, giving food befor 17 weeks is a big no no, starting food at an age they are ready.. sitting, good head control, loss of tongue thrust reflex, able to pick up food , chew and swallow.. is a good indicator they are ready and physically able to eat.

also i thikn we all need to get our heads aroudn the amoutn of milk babies can and should drink. especially through their frequent growth spurts

theu have their whole lives to eat, what is the hurry?

thanks for your responses. It's funny, if I tried to have a conversation along these lines (and I've stopped trying) it ends up with bad feeling, I must not be a tactful person at all. I try to be!! I suppose by saying any of this, I am insulting their parenting.

I do have friends who did the pre-chew thing. It seemed a bit gross to me, but hey, whatever.

Oh, it's not worth getting into disputes with people. They want to wean, they're weaning. People remember their little sisters or nephews or whatever with faces covered in mush, and they see that as an essential stage. Yes, BLW is better, and easier, and all around marvellous, but if people aren't ready for it, they're not ready for it.

I forgot this one:

F They need purees because they have to learn to move food from the front of their mouth to the back

This one sounds vaguely plausible, anyone?

NQC - yes, you are right. BTW are you on Ravelry (have I remembered correctly that you are a knitter?)?

Here in Ireland our Health board advises weaning to solids between 4 and 6 months if baby is formula fed, and 6 months if breast fed. Why do you think they would advise this? Formula here is exactly the same as formula in the uk, and I haven't heard of this anywhere else.

A 'I had to wean my DS at 17 weeks as he is such a big baby'
Don't know of any evidence for this at all - you also hear the same for small babies, so sounds like a myth. Not true from my experience, anyway.
B 'It's better to start on purees as it is more natural this way'
Well, more "natural" is a bit of a nothing term - it's like farm-fresh in a supermarket. Nappies aren't natural, formula feeding isn't "natural", but people do tend to use them. Unless this comment comes solely from people who've done elimination communication and exclusive breastfeeding following a homebirth, I suggest you give it a wide berth. BLW seemed disturbingly "natural" to dd, and other mammals (I'm thinking of deer, for some reason), simply point out appropriate food to their offspring.
C 'If you wait until 6 months to wean, you have to introduce new tastes (eg meat) faster than you would have done had you weaned earlier'
Well, the whole 3 days per taste thing always struck me as weird anyway. Change "have to" to "can", and you get a positive spin.
D 'The first time I gave DD baby rice, she slept through the night' (Honestly, this must have been coincidence, right????)
Again, no evidence for this, so likely to be co-incidence.
E 'I couldn't have waited, DS was so interested in food'
As others have said - they're interested in everything, and may not have made the connection between your activity and their hunger at all.

F They need purees because they have to learn to move food from the front of their mouth to the back.
Have seen no evidence for this. TBH, as far as I know there have been very few studies which validate either "traditional" weaning or BLW - I can see the thought processes people go through to think "milk, sloppy food, lumpy food, normal food", but children seem to learn their natural developmental stages without overt assistance - "baby talk" is not necessary for language acquisition, for example, so the logic doesn't always apply in real life, and anecdotal evidence of successfully BLW-ed babies suggests that F is certainly not true for all babies.

Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap. And F, crap.

I really appreciate all replies, thanks!

bellabear, have been through similar conversations and it's hard when your little ones are the same age - as you're waiting so can't prove that what you're doing is really good! A few months down the line you may be having very different conversations with them. Until now, just nod and smile, if they have made up their minds. The thing I find difficult is when person A is weaning early and is advising person B the totally wrong things - then I feel I have to speak up just to make sure person B has the facts or another opinion so they don't take person A's advice for granted.

Add one I heard recently.

G Those 6 month guidelines aren't for people like us - they're for those ejits on council estates who'd otherwise be weaning their child on McDs. "I mean - we love our child"

I also know just one other person waiting till 6 months in RL and am getting quite annoyed at having to justify all the time why ds (5mo and a big baby who wakes frequently at night) isn't on mush solids yet. I don't comment on anyone else's decision on when to wean, why should they comment on mine?

MamaChris- maybe you're the only other person I know!

also lots of people who know the guidelines are asking "How's weaning going?" - um we haven't started yet! It's getting annoying. DS was 6 months on Friday so we're starting today with carrot and broccoli batons!

BLW is a fantastic way to go. I used it with DS (now 5) and didn't have any problems in getting him onto new foods, tastes or textures. I'm such a fan that I recommend it to everybody who will listen.
Am a part time HV and enthuse about it to the parents I see. I work in quite a deprived area where diet can be poor and weaning can take place too early. Advising people to wait "until your baby helps him/herself from your plate" gets some interesting responses sometimes but those who have tried it say it's fantastic.

A 'I had to wean my DS at 17 weeks as he is such a big baby' -- Bollocks

B 'It's better to start on purees as it is more natural this way' -- Hmmmm.... I can see that "naturally" a baby would probably get a mixture of chewed-up and finger food, but unless there are natural food processors out there a completely smooth puree would be pretty darn difficult to achieve "naturally"

C 'If you wait until 6 months to wean, you have to introduce new tastes (e.g. meat) faster than you would have done had you weaned earlier' -- Not sure you actually have to (and, of course, you don't have to introduce meat at all), but I guess you normally would. I don't think that's a bad thing, though.

D 'The first time I gave DD baby rice, she slept through the night' -- Coincidence IMO

E 'I couldn't have waited, DS was so interested in food' -- DD is SOOOO interested in flowers that I've bought her her own little gardening set. I couldn't have waited. They are babies. They are interested in stuff. It's what they do.

F They need purees because they have to learn to move food from the front of their mouth to the back -- They clearly don't need them, given that BLW babies manage fine.

F is true in one sense - but it's actually an argument against purees. Lots of babies who are fed purees suck them to the back of their throat, and don't learn to move food around their mouth properly with their tongues.

Some kids aren't happy to move from purees to lumpy food, and/or their parents are too worried about choking. Either way, speech therapists sometimes see toddlers who are still on mush, and are having speech issues, as well, because their tongue development isn't up to it.

I agree with others. Load of crap spouted by people to justify not being able to wait to get on to the next stage and feeling it makes their child advanced somehow.

I JUST DON'T GET WHY SOOOOOOOOOO MANY PEOPLE IGNORE THE ADVICE, WHICH (BEING THE ANAL RETENTIVE CONCERNED PARENT I AM) I RESEARCHED IN MORE DETAIL BEFORE ACCEPTING AND IS AIMED AT MAKING THEIR CHILDREN MORE HEALTHY.

I JUST DO.NOT.GET.IT

Right, rant over, sorry for shouting, and once again, thanks for replies!

don't worry about shouting, I don't get it either, I feel like people have accused me of being 'holier than thou' or that DS wasn't 'advanced enough' to need solids etc. I'm glad I'm passed the 6MO mark now so I don't need to jutify myself all the time! You get quite a roll of the eyes from older mothers who think BLW / 6MO wait is a fad too.

Just to say, also, that I was totally alone among my peers when it came to weaning. In fact, I was very much an oddity because I wasn't prepared to lie about how we did things if people asked but family and friends were a bit about the constant baby-wearing, cosleeping, exclsuive BFing etc. Some of it was done out of necessity and some of it was done because it was what we believed was right after considering lots of information. It's hard to stick to your guns when you feel like eveyone is questioning what you're doing but it passes in a flash and I'd say by the time your babies hit 8 months people have moved onto competing about how advanced their babies are in the moving around stakes. Let it wash over you

I think maybe people get quite defensive about it and feel they have to justify their decisions. And that perhaps most of us tend towards this a bit; because obviously we're all anxious to do the best for our children so if other people are doing something very different that can exacerbate the anxiety. And then it's not enough that we've made the decision we feel is right for our babies, we have to believe that this decision is absolutely and empirically right and that therefore the alternatives are wrong. Those people using these arguments are simply reinforcing their own decisions for themselves, not trying to make you feel bad any more than you're trying to make them feel bad or like inadequate parents.

Another one:

G I needed to wean early as I am going back to work and I didn't want the childminder to do it

fleacircus - yes, so I have only had the conversation way before any of my friends started weaning. As soon as they have done, I have not been critical. Inside I think they are wrong but I am not rude (I hope) and I can keep it to myself.

Plus it's none of my business really! And I am sure that they can find fault with my parenting and keep it to themselves as well.