OK I am hating weaning now...

[nobodytoldme]

DS is 8.5 mo now and is a really slow weight gainer. He is VERY active and reaching all his developmental milestones and is a happy little fella, but is dropping down from 25th to 9th (I only get him weighed every 6 weeks or so).
He has a really poor appetite and refuses food even before he tries it!
I have tried finger foods but he just sucks toast, rusks etc and then throws it away. Not much goes in!
I find it really stressful as he seems to be getting so skinny. I had major issues with food as a little 'un and I am probably more neurotic about it than most.
He is bf still, won't take a bottle. But won't bf in public.
I am starting to feel like a prisoner - meals/milk feeds take forever and the only way I can get him to take even a little is to surround him with plastic distractions!
DH is getting down about it too, anyone have any advice? I know I will get the 'food's fun til 1' line but even if baby weight gain is becoming an issue??

I don't even remotely resemble an expert, but there are a couple of things I wanted to say to try to reassure you... Firstly, I think a few babies have a skinny stage (or skinny stages) when they become more mobile. My dd2 was so teeny between 7-12mo and it reached a peak at around 9mo when people constantly commented on how small she was (irritating) but now she's 14mo and is a bit of a chubber for a 'petite' baby tbh, dh says she is 50% belly So it could just be a phase.

Secondly, she went off her food in a very dramatic way when she was teething. No interest whatsoever apart from melon, dried apricots and toast at one point, and then only once a day. It passed, and then returned with each subsequent tooth.

Also, try not to get stressed about it. Some wise person (aitch) suggested look at what they eat in a week rather than a day. Dont' worry about the feeds when you're out, let him suckle all morning and evening if necessary.

What about offering small snacks more often? Like when out and about in buggy give him something to hold and chew on, offer him little bits when you're in the kitchen making something, etc. Take the stress out of the official mealtime thing, ge tyoru stuff ready and then just see if he's interested.

Milk should be the main nourishment until 1 year. As your DS gets older, your milk will change to adapt and whilst there might be less in quantity, it will be much richer.

Any solid foods he eats now really isnt going to act as his main source of food but I remember worrying about it all the same when DS was the same age. He didnt really start eating that great until he was 12.5 months. Even so, his eating has never been great.

However, he seems to regulate his own feeding pretty well now (he's 3). Some days he barely eats, some days he grazes all day. His stomach leads him entirely as to when and what he wants to eat and I'm fine with that.

Try not to worry too much. Offer him finger foods and sit him at the meal table when you eat and offer him bits of your food that he can have (veg etc).

i'm no expert either but jb thinks i'm wise...
i didn't get dd weighed (having had to weigh her every two days when she was tiny and finding the whole thing very depressing) but i do know that she would lengthen and stretch before chubbing down for a while, that was her pattern of growth.

do you and dh and the baby eat together? that sometimes helps to take the pressure off, especially with finger food. and i second the idea of food in the buggy, definitely. no pressure, just a wee nibble. if he's on eggs already then dd used to love french toast buggy picnics.

the other thing is that really, at 8.5 months, he really is a teeny scrap still. i've seen plenty of people on my blog site saying that their babies really weren't ready to eat until 9 months and some later. especially bf babies, you're giving them great stuff there, not really surprising that they're not so fussed by broccoli compared to full cream milk.

it's a pain, though, about the not taking milk on the run, i wonder if you should post about that as well? i imagine he's easily distracted by this stage? (not my area, i was ffing by then). they make bfing beads to distract babies back i think, but it'd be best to ask for some help with that from someone who's been there.

good luck, anyway, try not to worry. easier said than done, but you know that stressing is counter-productive in this case.

Thanks everyone, wise words and lots of reassurance! He does eat well in his buggy so I will make some nice nutritious finger foods for then. Aitch I was on your blog and just made him bagels with melted cheese and grated carrot. He seemed to suck a bit off, then gummed some banana - really enjoyed it. Again I don't think much went in, but do they need to 'learn' blw?

well yes, they do, self-feeding is definitely a learning curve. i looked at it like it was a learning curve dd would have to go through at some point and i'd rather she went through it at a younger age (before her throwing arm strengthened up... )

I was initially in tears at the slowness of my DD trying out new food stuffs and always preferring to b/feed. I discovered that letting her lick off my clean fingers helped get more in, then when she got more interested in textures I would accidentally leave slivers of cucumber on a reachable plate or chopped up apple, or pieces of toast on the carpet. I wasn't in too much of a hurry to clear things away either, so things that were ignored could be returned to later on.
My DD took 40 minutes to feed and would have up to 10 feeds every 24 hours before she was 1yo. It does get better though as they suddenly get the point of food. Having more teeth and additional mobility coincide with accepting new and more complicated meals.