Anxiety about choking and moving on from softer foods at 13 months

[snm88]

My son is 13.5 months old now and absolutely loves food, but I have terrible anxiety about choking (he actually did have an incident last week, but that’s another story). So I’ve played it very safe with and still probably prepare his food as though he’s 9 months old 🫣 for example, I shred chicken rather than giving him bite-sized pieces and give him paper-thin slices of cucumber or watermelon. I’m a bit worried I’m hindering his progress with chewing and learning to eat bigger, chewier bits of food. Has anyone else had the same fears and how did you overcome them? Also any suggestions for age-appropriate foods and how I can serve them to help him (and me) take the next step?

It’s very difficult to face something that’s making you anxious. Is there anything that you can do practically to make yourself feel better - a baby first aid course or something?

My 13m old just eats the same meals as the rest of the family. I don’t really do anything different to prepare it. I’m always close by when he’s eating to keep an eye on things.

He needs to chew yes although shredding meat is fine he can still chew a little bit, instead of thin slices of cucumber/veg cut them into batons let him bite and chew, Babies have gag reflex doesn't mean they are choking although you said you had an incident that wouldhave been scary, if you have time see if there is a Paediatric first aid course running in your area put your mind at ease.

I had exactly the same anxieties and this is what I did:

• The solid starts app is amazing at showing how to prepare food safely for each stage. The free version is excellent as well.
• baby first aid course - knowing what to do should the worst happen realy reassured me. I had a print out of instructions on my fridge. Dd was born at the tail end of covid so I did my course online but was still really good
• youtube the difference between choking and gagging. Often what people assume is choking is gagging.

edit to add, it’s not as scary as it seems. You’ve got this 💕

I was the same with ds1. I remember cutting up his sandwiches into tiny squares that he could just swallow. Then we were in an Italian restaurant one day, and I’d torn up garlic bread into tiny pieces and put them on his high chair tray - he looked at them, reached over to the table, and grabbed a complete slice of garlic bread and tucked in. Seeing that made me relax.

The first thing would be to do a first aid course so that you are confident that you know what to do in a choking emergency. Your health visitor might know of local ones.
The red Cross and St. John Ambulance have some really good online videos to watch too.
Also, having a look at the difference between choking and gagging - gagging is a completely normal part of learning to chew and swallow. There is a rhyme to help you remember that goes something like - red and loud, let me cough it out, silent and blue, I need help from you, you can google it.

I did a baby first aid course when pregnant and last week we had an incident with some watermelon - he got three smaller bits stuck in his throat and was totally silent choking (I waited several seconds to see if he could clear it himself and he couldn’t) so I grabbed him and whacked his back a few times. I don’t think I did it correctly as I was panicking but it did dislodge the watermelon. But now I’m feeling extra anxious as the episode told me he wasn’t ready for bigger chunks of watermelon (I trusted he was ready and then we ended up in that predicament 🫣). Just concerned as he will be starting daycare in September so I need him to be better with chunkier food by then.

Hopefully my son just does this and then he’s done the hard part for me 🤣🤣🤣

I use the app and it’s great but am stuck on the serving suggestion for 9 month olds 🫣

Is it just anxiety about him choking or are you generally very anxious OP? I’m wondering if you need some support with your anxiety?

As for him eating, is his DF around? If so, I’d get him to take over offering meals when he’s around. Can he do breakfast now and maybe lunch at the weekend?

At 13 months he could have things like porridge fingers, cheese on toast or blueberry pancakes for breakfast.

A sandwich for lunch or an omelette with some veg on the side and for tea he could have whatever you are eating.

My DD was a huge fan of Chicken Korma at this age. If you don’t like this recipe, there are plenty of others on the internet

And yes, not having finger foods and proper food to chew can affect speech and even the development of their mouth.

You know you aren't being reasonable, so you are on the right track to sorting it out. If he stays on tiny soft food he won't learn how to eat properly and it may lead to his jaw/muscles not developing properly. You might even find the tiny pieces got stuck because he isn't chewing properly as there has been no need. Obviously things like grapes need chopping to be safe, but just start giving him age appropriate food as listed on your app. Good luck.

Very useful advice here OP.
I attended a sports nutrition talk a while back and one of the points the speaker made was that human jaws are getting smaller and the mouth cannot accommodate all the teeth in our times. The human contours don’t need to be as strong as they once were because the diet doesn’t encourage proper chewing in a lot of cases. purely because people have a softer diet.
Think of a difference between eating a hamburger and a steak ignoring the nutritional value, more effort to eat steak.
Children and adults have to eat harder foods to encourage saliva and exercise jaw muscles. It’s very important for correct development in children.
So keep in mind it is for the benefit of your child that you encourage age appropriate food in size and texture for oral health and physical development, food is not only about nutrition.

His dad is around for dinner but it’s me that prepares / plans all meals. He does eat toast/omelettes/pancakes for breakfast, and lunch is generally something like crackers with hummus, quartered tomatoes and thin rounds of cucumber. Perhaps homemade falafel or fish cakes. Dinner will generally be an adapted version of what we are having. I’ve just been too afraid to give him, for instance, chunks of chicken rather than shredded, or sausage that isn’t crumbled, or crunchy fruit that isn’t paper thin.
Will try the korma recipe, thanks! He loves curry and strong flavours.

Can you send him out with his DF tomorrow with some snacks that are appropriate for his age? Perhaps not watermelon if you’ve had an incident with that recently

How about something like cheese straws and some slices of raw pepper?

Why not book yourself onto a paediatric first aid course? That way you might feel more confident handling any choking incidents. It’s perfectly natural to feel anxious about this type of thing. So rather than avoid it confront it head on and learn the skills.

Also consider having a life vac in the house too?
https://www.lifevac.uk/?utm_source=hs_google&utm_medium=ad&utm_campaign=22428446608&utm_adgroup=&device=m&utm_term=&utm_content=&match=&gclid=Cj0KCQjw3K7RBhDJARIsAKRtP5TvIhADF-mfVJDvWTwCMIR0la9in3Yg5y30dsEWupxIOg9ZrkvDMkkaArwxEALw_wcB&placement=&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23456112956&gbraid=0AAAAAoZEJGGjdjKG217qWq-yPp3QHWmE0

I think that the OP said that she had one a Paediatric First Aid course?