What are your 19 months old eating please?

[Grrrrrr2026]

For some reason, DS now refuses foods that he used to like. He would happily live off Greek yoghurt, any and all fruit, breadsticks, and perhaps some cheese sandwiches or toast. Oh and some pasta and tomato sauce. He’ll have a bit of Weetabix or porridge in the morning.

He completely refuses things like jacket potato and beans, fish fingers, scrambled egg, anything that’s been baked into a muffin. I used to make homemade bean chilli or do flaked salmon, mashed potato and veg, which he loved. Now, he’ll either spit it out, or do one spoonful and simply refuse any more. He won’t eat cucumber or avocado sticks, or broccoli florets, again things he used to be fine with.

I’ll be honest, it’s starting to frustrate me a little now. I don’t know whether to acquiesce and offer yoghurt and fruit when he refuses food, or just to say: that’s it! Tough! But then I’m sure I’d be up all night feeding him as he’d be hungry. 🤷‍♀️

He can’t live off such a limited diet for the rest of his life. Can anyone help please?

Yoghurt and beans and tomatoes? Like in curry or middle eaten food. Homemade hummus? Sushi? Mine likes an approximation to Korean bimibap.

Join him in with your meals now. Leave out the salt but he's old enough to eat what you do. Get him sat at the table and eating with you.

Always have one safe food in each meal.

He does sit at the table and eat with us… that part isn’t the issue…

My second one is 20 months ish at the moment, and she is also in a pretty fussy phase. For dinner, she had a bite of salmon, a bite of broccoli, a couple of bites of corn on the cob, and lobbed a dough ball across the room. She's pretty much gotten through the day on a croissant and milk. My eldest practically lived on fruit and plain pasta for the first 2.5 years of her life and will now eat a bowl of chili and rice, so these things do change! I personally am not a fan of letting them go to bed hungry, so I offer "pudding" (fruit/greek yoghurt/toast/milk) after every meal and try not to get too stressed about how much of anything she eats. Mine definitely gets bored quickly and especially picky when she's tired.

Thank you @Lottie6712

I really wouldn't worry, it's totally normal for their preferences to become more limited at that age. If he likes tomato pasta sauce, can you blend in lentils and veg? I do Bolognese with about 7 types of veg blitzed into it.
Does he go to childcare? Mine eats all sorts at nursery so TBH I rely on that for her exposure to different things.
So I do offer plain yoghurt and fruit after meals regardless of what my daughter (also 19 months) has eaten. I don't want to make certain foods contingent on finishing others. I never offer anything else dessert wise.
He isn't going to live on that diet all his life, sorry but that's a ridiculous worry to have. Best thing is no stress, no pressure, keep offering whatever you are eating , put one thing on the plate that he will eat. Mac and cheese is always a hit with my daughter, I blend butternut squash and cannellini beans into the sauce.

Thanks @Peonies12. I was quite frustrated when I started the thread. I know (well, hope!) he won’t be so limited in his meals forever.

You make a good point about blending the veg in. And I will definitely try your mac and sauce, thank you!

As it happens, the night I posted, he’d refused the salmon/veg/mash that I’d defrosted. Just spat it out. But then I blended it down to a thick sauce and added some rice for texture. He refused it from me, but then DH tried and got him to eat it all!

But it got me thinking. For how long is it ‘okay’ to blend things down? (And the majority of it to be spoon fed, let’s face it) If the options are, say, a blended meal with a range of healthy ingredients vs a piece of peanut butter on toast / cheese sandwich… which is better at this age?

Are you sure it wasn't because your DH wasn't stressed about it? I personally wouldn't be blending things down at this age. They need to see what food looks like. I do chop things up but don't blend, never have really. When you say spoon-fed, are you feeding him?

He can feed himself things like the fruit, breadsticks, sandwiches and so on. He can use a spoon for yoghurt, but frankly speaking he’s not very accurate with it and it is slooow going and sometimes it can end up on the floor (spoon and food), so yes we will let him have a go with the spoon but then feed him.

I don’t really blend as such, say I’m making a chilli or meatballs in the slow cooker then everything in the sauce is quite mushed down anyway.

This sounds really stressful, especially when you’ve seen him eat a wider range before. What you’re describing is actually quite common in kids—preferences can narrow for sensory reasons, control, or just phases of development, and it doesn’t always mean those foods are “gone forever.” Pressuring him to eat more can sometimes make the refusal stronger, so a gentler middle path usually works better: keep a couple of his safe foods on the plate so he feels secure, but still offer small amounts of the other foods without forcing or reacting too strongly if he refuses. Over time, repeated low-pressure exposure often helps more than battles at mealtimes.

Thank you. It’s just so infuriating. Tonight he’s just turning his head away when I’m trying to feed him. He won’t even try it. He’s not eaten tons at nursery today so he should be starving. It’s so frustrating!

Does he want to feed himself with a spoon?

Can you give a bit of both?

I would consider the blended down food like an enhanced vitamin supplement! Something that is necessary as they don’t get the nutrients elsewhere in their diet. It wouldn’t bother me that it’s blended as long as they had a little bit of other food like some plain pasta.

I wouldn’t let my child go hungry, I know lots of people say that they will give in eventually from hunger but I’m not entirely sure. Kids can be oddly stubborn and are way too young at 20 months to have learnt not to cut off their noses to spite their faces. Some children may well hold out in stubbornness and simply refuse a lot of food.

At that age mine would eat: avocado toast, grilled cheese, french fries, berries, pb&j sandwiches, yoghurt, apple sauce and that was pretty much it… daycare fed her enough of the above that she wasn’t hungry enough at dinner to be tempted by anything else. She got over it and is now a v adventurous budget busting 8YO who loves sushi and steak. Give a vitamin, keep modelling good eating habits and trust that 99% of the time it’s a phase that will pass- think about how often you meet a fussy kiddo but how rarely you meet a proper fussy adult.

Honestly I'd stop trying to feed him. Pressure is the worst thing for kids and their eating. Give him a few things on a plate including one you know he likes, and let him feed himself. Toddler appetites also vary hugely day to day. Let him make a mess feeding himself, how else will he learn. my daughter has never let me feed her.,