dd on strike...

[megcleary]

she is 9mo will not have solid food besides yogurt and barely taking 14 oz a day seems well in self,skin around eyes a ltttle red and has cough

have tried letting her self feed chunks of food she flings it,if given spoon she flings that my mum said to try spagetti hoops/ shapes can she have these and please any advice the hv yesterday said ignore it not to worry if she refuses milk i mentioned the 20oz rule i heard and she said that was propaganda from milk marketing board after ww2

please advice am freaking out

bump

in a temper i have just broken her wash bowl help

have calmed down now am crying as i realise what a shit mum i am thanks for all the support

meg - you care about your dd's health and that's why you are so upset. Nothing to do with being a shit mum!!

There is nothing concerning about her diet in your post. She is bound to throw food about - this is what babies do. Your reaction - calm, unflustered - will take the novelty value off it!

Your HV is right - ignore her behaviour and do not worry if her milk intake appears low. Just let her have the yogs, and give her finger foods as well, without stressing if she eats them or not.

Spaghetti hoops are fine. You can increase her repertoire of foods once you have worked through the stressy time!

thanks for the message ticktok how am i going to cope when she does get naughty if i'm flipping out now does the patience improve i secretly think of putting her in nursery 5 days a week as they will be better at caring for her

There's more going on her than your dd chucking a bit of food on the floor....everyone has their days when things get too much, but you're right to be concerned if you feel you flip too readily. Maybe you need more help and support? Have you got friends, supportive partner, family, chance to meet other mums on most days???

We all need them!

dh is great but v chilled, family in different country, work 3 days and just us on the other 2 not sure if more going on

i know felt crap when she was 4 mo and gp said i need antidepressants i said no i only thought i had bad pmt eventually had blood test and my ferritin was 4 normal is 23 apparently it affects mood and i just seem to over react to her not eating can't see past current meal and think she may eat more tomorrow

maybe i need to check if level anywhere near normal have been on iron for 3 months now

gp apologiesd for not doing bloods in first instance! took another dr to check them

meg, as I say, we all have bad days and stress about stuff from time to time, but what you are describing sounds more than that, to be honest. Breaking stuff in a temper sounds like someone under a big grey cloud - and it would be a good first step to go back to your doc and check it all out.

Hope you get the help you need.

was calm at lunch gave her yoguert after she fed herself afew bites of cheese and toast was cakm giving her bottle then she coughed and vomited up the whole 6oz for the first time i didn't cry with worry

when all well i cope fine no shock there i just seem unable to have any perspective when things going well

the full time nursery bit is just that i have no confidence in my ability to take care of her correctly and when she refuses food and vomits up bottles it just reinforces it in my mind i can't seem to think she has a cough so that was what mechanically brought up her bottle and maybe shes teething and doesn't feel like solids

Glad things are a little calmer, meg.

There are some other folders here on mumsnet where you could get support - this 'weaning' folder is mainly concerned with a narrower look at getting food in and what sort etc rather than the stressy behaviour side of it all...maybe you could look for help there? There are people all over the boards, and maybe some who have been where you are now.

Try 'Behaviour' or 'Parenting' folders, maybe

thank you again will look at those am new to mumsnet and have found people generally supportive which is so nice she took seven oz of evening bottle still down and now shes asleep

dh is home and fab as always i do't know what i'd do without them both must grow up and cope better

thanks again

You're welcome

I hope you get help from the various different sources - don't rule out the doctor's, and maybe your dh will go with you for support when you see the doc.