Decided to wean my 22 month old - will what I’m doing help?

[justtryingherbest]

So I’ve tried pretty much everything I can think of, jay gordon didn’t work. She’s a stubborn girl.

so I’m basically unlatching her over and over at night so she’s not just latched constantly. She’d be on the boob all night if she could. She moans a bit but eventually settles herself. In the day time I’ll distract if she asks, offer a drink etc if she gets upset I’ll give her milk but after a couple of minutes I’ll tell her it’s all gone

it doesn’t feel like I’m really getting anywhere with it but just need some encouragement that all this will make a difference!

I don’t know whether to just go cold turkey?!

im so ready to wean now, before I wasn’t so sure but I feel like we’re both ready

Just go cold turkey, and if possible get her dad to have her when she is upset so she doesn't smell your milk.

Also, wear something at night to make them in accessible, or sleep in a different room for a week.

I had one of those, and it really had to be cold turkey. Trying to restrict feeding just upset her.

Wear a swimming costume or something under your clothes so she just can’t access you, then go full throttle on distraction.

I went cold turkey just after Christmas with my 21 month old, she still fed overnight and pretty much constantly during the day if I let her. She wouldn't be settled by anyone else. It was just too much for me, I was exhausted. Id tried other weaning methods (e.g slowing cutting feeds) and it would work for a while, then she would get sick or be teething and we would be back at square one of constant feeding.

I fed her one morning and just not again after that. I was very clear with her and kept repeating "mama milk all gone, you can have milk in a cup." I offered extra hugs. Not gonna lie, she wasn't happy for the first 2 days, but she did understand. She now sleeps through the night and didn't ask me to feed her again after about 4 days. I'm still a bit in shock over how much easier is was than I thought it would be. The first 3 days were uncomfortable for me, I used sudofed to help dry up milk and cold cabbage leaves in my bra. Honestly, the difference in my sleep and mental health is huge, I feel so much more myself. I was also worried about changing our bond but she has just swapped feeds for hugs and it's lovely. Good luck, it's a big step for both of you but you can do it together ❤️

Is there another parent or carer available?

I would firstly stop feeding to sleep.
Wear a sports bra at night.
You can continue to cosleep for cuddles and comfort - i didnt want to disappear when he most needed comfort.

When you said jay gordon didnt work what do you mean? Cried too long for you to be able to hold the boundary?

I think you need be stricter in the day as a starting point, it's so much easier to handle in the day when you have full resolve, you can talk to her etc. I've recently stopped day feeds with 16 month old, even if she gets upset, I don't budge. I offer milk in a cup, snacks, cuddles, whatever - it's fine that they are upset, you just have to offer comfort and wait it out. I'm not sure offering it then saying it's gone is very helpful. Hopefully she'll get used to not having it in the day, and you can then work on stopping at night. Look at social media from Emma Pickett and Lucy Weber, both have helpful advice about toddler weaning.

I did this a few months ago with my then just turned two year old! Lots of dad doing the settling over a week and then reducing it down to one pre-bedtime feed.
Then reduced that to every second night, then got his dad to do the pre-bed settle for a few weeks (I’d do his story so we still got cuddles). He just stopped asking for it overnight after a week or so and accepted a cuddle.
He still asked but accepted it and sometimes playfully asks for it now but it’s more of a game now!

Thanks everyone. I’m a single mama (another reason why I’d like to stop now as dad doesn’t feel comfortable having her whilst she’s feeding, which I do get) but also I’m very burnt out at times when she’s constantly wanting milk!

I feel like she’s definitely ready now, she does accept it quicker when I say no. But the nighttime is tough. I’m on a forum on Facebook and they all said ‘don’t go cold turkey, it’s damaging/distressing for the child’ but I really do feel like it needs to be black or white. No in between!

Same battle with my 26 month old!

It took DS1 several attempts after he turned 2 before we finally stopped at 28 months so I do accept it might take a while with DS2 as well, but am so fed up am also thinking of just going cold turkey.

I nightweaned at about 15 months when my partner was away for a week. It wasnt easy but i felt most comfortable being there to comfort my baby. The first 3 nights he screamed for 20-60 minutes in my arms then fell asleep.

I had already stopped feeding him to sleep so he slept longer stretches at night.

I would suggest stop feeding to sleep (i said last feed after bath then teeth PJs story and cuddles). See how that goes. If you get some more sleep as a result (like i did) you may feel better resourced for refusing overnight.

Don't forget the impact on your hormones and to be careful to aboid mastitis for you.

Had to go cold turkey with ds2 and wear a swimming costume plus bandages to hide them, as it was harder to distract him if he even caught a glimpse! I'll never forgot the joy on his face when we went swimming a month or so later and I completely forgot to hide my boobs in the changing room! I got changed very quickly whilst burbling something about buying chocolate, practically sprinting out of the changing room.

He wasn't damaged by the trauma and he was the most boob obsessed baby ever!

Thanks for the support everyone. I felt myself getting really full today which shows that what I’ve been doing has made a difference. Again tonight I’ve kept the bedtime feed purely to help with my boobs (they were feeling hard and engorged)

going to keep reducing and see how I get on. She is obsessed with ‘boo boos’ and plasters at the moment as she grazed her knee the other day so maybe Ill put some plasters on my boobs 😂

well, she let me rock her to sleep tonight!!!!!