Terrified of baby led weaning

[Justamumof2x]

So my youngest is 7 months. Will not be spoon fed. Her tongue just sticks out and she refuses to eat anything. But if I give her a banana to hold or corn melt stick she will eat it herself and will eat all of it. So my instincts are telling me she wants to be independent and feed herself so led weaning is what needs to happen here but I am absolutely petrified.

I am on the edge, phone ready to dial 999 when she has a soft banana. I was like this with my first too, but he wasn’t into led weaning when I tried and preferred spoons and purees

has anyone overcome this? I feel like I’d be calmer if I could ween her at the hospital just in case 😂

I am sorry you feel so anxious about it. My own experience was great. I read the original book by Gill Rapley (Baby-led Weaning, you can find it very cheaply online) and it gave me a lot of confidence to embrace it. My DD (nearly 17!) fed herself very competently and I feel that she has acquired healthy habits that she has maintained (not a picky eater, loves fruit and veg). My MIL found it nerve-wracking to watch but it was absolutely fine. Just be prepared for a filthy floor (I spread a plastic tablecloth under her chair) - a lot of the food ends up under the table.

Definitely read Gill Rapley’s book, and perhaps a baby first aid course would be helpful to give you confidence in what to do in the incredibly remote possibility that she does actually choke. Learn the difference between choking and gagging, as gagging is a completely normal part of weaning. A baby’s gag reflex point is actually really close to the front of their mouth, and helps prevent them putting food too far in to reduce the risk of them having to swallow a big chunk. The reflex point moves backwards as they get older and get the hang of chewing and moving food around their mouths. The biology behind it all is pretty fascinating when you get into it.

Choking on food is way less common than most people think - most people confuse the natural cough / gag reflex (which is actually an inbuilt safety mechanism) for choking and then panic. Which actually makes it more dangerous as they scare the baby at best, and at worst do something to interfere and end up causing a real obstruction.

As others have said, read around it to set your mind at rest and enjoy the process. It's way easier, cheaper and more fun than spoons feeding and great for baby's development.

Would it make you feel better if you did a baby first aid course? then you would know what to do if they were to choke (which is very unlikely). Try not to let your anxiety hold baby back, I know it's easier said then done.

I was going to say the same. My second DC was the same @Justamumof2x, they wanted to feed themselves.

If you can’t get into a Paediatric First Aid Course, then have a look at this information from the British Red Cross so that you’ll know what to do.

As a PP said though, choking is rare and babies can choke on bottles and purées too. Not to worry but but just wanted to point out that avoiding finger foods doesn’t necessarily help. Also by giving foods they can manage themselves, you’re helping them develop the skills they need to chew, push the food to the back of their mouths and swallow. Skills that a puree fed baby doesn’t develop as quickly.

Also agree that it might be worth reading up on the difference between choking and gagging

I had to do baby led with my second who also wouldn’t be spoon fed. It is a bit scary but the gaging is normal (frightening but normal). At 7 months they are still very young just do some research h on appropriate foods and how to cut/serve etc. I was amazed at what she eating at 9/10 months. It made me realise I keot my older child eating slops for way too long 🤣 although she is the better eater now and youngest is so fussy.

All babies should be having finger foods whether that’s only finger foods (BLW) or a mix of finger foods and purees (traditional weaning). So it’s not really something you should avoid because it’s really important for their development, helping with speech and fine motor skills in the future due the hand and mouth movements.
I agree with PP suggesting a baby first aid course. It’s good thing to do anyway but hopefully it’ll also ease your anxiety.
Also, remember that gagging is a totally normal reflex and is not choking and actually bigger bits when cut correctly are less risky for choking because baby has to gum/suck/chew them. Solid Starts is a great weaning resource and has loads of info on finger foods- what to offer, how to prepare etc.

Paediatric first aid course as others have said, to put your mind at rest.

You may find the app Solid Starts helpful: it has a big database of foods and includes info on how to cook, cut & serve them according to the baby’s age, which we found very useful and reassuring. We did a mix of spoon feeding and finger food: whether DD was feeling independent depended a bit on the day!

Totally agree with this. Even when babies were weaned at 4 months, most woukd be having regular finger food at 7 months.

I had awful post natal anxiety and it really got worse with weaning. I found it absolutely terrifying. But actually it’s really ok. Choking is rare and as long as you prepare food the right way you can really minimise the risks.

I highly reccommend the solid starts app. The free version has all the information you need about jow to prepare food/how to cut it and serve it at different ages wh at 6 months then 9 months then 12 months etc. it was really useful and reassuring. Id just type the food I wanted to serve her in and it would give all the information with photo examples. Their Instagram is also really helpful and provides a lot of useful information and reassuring videos.

The best thing I did was a baby first aid course though. It reassured me knowing I knew exactly what to do if the worst case scenario happened. There were none local to me (we were really remote and stuff was still restricted post covid) so I did one online through the baby academy. I think face to face ones are probably better but online was my only option and I found it really beneficial and reassuring.

My health visitor knew I had anxiety and that this was an issue so she posted me some pages including how to safely wean as well as instruction and images for baby CPR - your health visitor may be able to provide information and reassurance.

But honestly, it’s no where near as scary as it seems. As long as you’re doing serve food safely it will all be fine 😊