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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

Original poster

Why do I feel like a leper because I'm determined to hold out until 6 months to wean DS?

32 replies

ChairmumMiaow · 02/06/2008 12:56

It seems like everywhere I go that there are babies of a similar age (DS currently 19 weeks) everyone is weaning already. Its all pureed this and pureed that, and I can't join in the conversation because DS is still all boob boob boob! The one holdout is waiting till 5 months.

I've carefully not said anything about their decisions to wean before 6 months (often at around 4) once they've made their choice, although I have tried to offer my point of view when it was being initially discussed. We're also doing Baby Led Weaning when the time comes, so won't care about the purees!

Does anyone else feel like this around their baby 'friends'? Its not even as if I want to wean him - we co-sleep after his first longest sleep in his bedside cot, so I don't really care how often he wakes up, but I'm starting to have dreams about weaning him!

Help!

OP posts:
cmotdibbler · 02/06/2008 13:00

I did blw at 6 months. Didn't give a stuff about what anyone else was doing though, and have always avoided rl convos about bf vs ff, blw v puree and weaning age like the plague though.

I weaned the latest of anyone I know though, and DS is the one who will eat anything and everything and uses fork/knife/spoon/chopsticks correctly aged 2.

elkiedee · 02/06/2008 13:10

Good on you for holding on to 6 months, lots of people here have.

Sadly I didn't BF very long (not my choice) but didn't start solids until 6 months. I liked the sound of blw but wasn't sure it would work so adopted a mixed approach - couldn't really be bothered with making purees and icecub trays etc, so gave ds a bit of organic premade puree babyfood (Ella's Kitchen and Plum Baby) as well as bananas, toast, bread, other bits of fruit - he grew teeth early. At 13 months he likes to hold and eat food but we also spoonfeed yoghurt and eggs and he's a keen eater.

I leave the CM to feed him what she chooses and it's mostly fairly healthy home cooked family food as given to her other mindees and own kids. She's African so I'm hoping he gets introduced to things he won't get to eat at home too.

StellaWasADiver · 02/06/2008 13:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

InTheDollshouse · 02/06/2008 15:06

I was really surprised to discover how few people in the UK wait until 6 months. DD was born in Australia and all but 2 of the 12 mums in my postnatal group waited until 6 months to start solids, and no one thought anything of it.

Do what YOU want and don't succumb to pressure!

maxmissie · 02/06/2008 15:20

I waited until 6 months and don't know anyone else who waited until that long! I tried spoon feeding but she refused to eat from spoons so it was BLW or nothing!

Then at about 7.5 months she decided she wanted spoons after all but by this time she was getting quite good at BLW so we've done abit of both. Now at 10 months she is really good with finger food and will try pretty much anything I put in front of her. She is spoon fed her main meals and yogurts, which is then followed by as much finger food as she wants.

Everyone who spoonfed from 4 months onwards seemed to be shovelling food down their babies, whereas it felt like a real challenge to get her to eat, but it all worked out OK in the end!

And if I have another child I will definitely wait until 6 months before weaning!

BouncingTurtle · 02/06/2008 22:02

CM - I know what you mean, my close friend weaned her baby at 20 weeks, and most of the ladies I did AN classes weaned before 6 months, thought a couple of them it was only a couple of weeks before hand.
I do worry that they must think I'm a bit potty and that I'm judging them for weaning before the month. But I don't - their baby, their decision. I did crack and give ds some baby rice, but he was far more interested in chewing on the spoon, which to me suggests he is not ready.
Going to try again with some BLW goodies when he is 25 weeks, but if he still doesn't seem that interested I'll just have to leave it a bit longer!

oldnewmummy · 03/06/2008 06:30

DS was formula fed from birth (adopted) and then BLW'd (very slowly, due to unknown risk off allergies) at about 6.5 months.

He now eats anything and is a strapping lad, whereas many of his baby group (all pureed, some early) are having problems getting off mushy food or are fussy eaters.

Make your own informed decision and ignore the naysayers.

(For clarification, the food was pureed not the babies).

littlelapin · 03/06/2008 07:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

beansprout · 03/06/2008 07:50

Ds1 didn't really want any food until nearer 7 months. He was a very big baby and I was constantly told that my milk wouldn't be enough for him.

You know you are doing the right thing and you don't have to justify that to anyone!!

hercules1 · 03/06/2008 07:53

It's a race and people seem to think as their child 'is ready' earlier than the norm they must be advanced. Also they believe their gp and hvs who often know very little.
Also an awful lot of myths exist about the signs.

stitch · 03/06/2008 07:58

because whilst current guidelines state this, most people have brought up their children to be weaned at a much younger age. and they have turned out to be perfectly healthy,
they dont understand why you need to feel the need to followguidlines quite so stringently

hercules1 · 03/06/2008 08:09

Are most adults healthy? Looking around me we seem quite an unhealthy nation.

BellaBear · 03/06/2008 08:10

CM - I could have written the OP exactly! It's especially hard when my friends say 'well, my HV told me to wean at 17 weeks' or 'it's just that he's a really hungry baby' or 'she's just not satisfied by milk anymore'

Then again, yesterday I met a woman with a baby of a similar age to mine who said 'have you heard of BLW?' - we had such a lovely chat about it!

Haylstones · 03/06/2008 08:29

My ds is 14 weeks and I'm going to wait until 6 months. However, dd is 4.5 and we weaned her at 4/5 months with pureed food and she very quickly followed onto finger food (she hated being spoonfed) and she now eats very healthily, rarely refuses anything and uses cutlery well. I just wanted to point this out in response to some of the posters on this thread who have seen/experienced the oppopsite! Weeaning onto purees doesn't necessarily hinder development regardless of weaning age!
(BTW in retrospect dd probably wasn't ready yet but this was over 4 years ago and we naively thought it would help her sleeping. Older and wiser now!)

TwoFirTreesToday · 03/06/2008 09:07

We waited until nearly 8 month with DS and I didnt notice any early weaners, no stigma or any pressure. Our contemporaries seem also to wait a while longer and/or to start slowly.

TwoFirTreesToday · 03/06/2008 09:08

Just to add tho, the HV recommended weaning at 4 months because he had IUGR and would be hungry! We dont go very often...

CJMommy · 03/06/2008 09:16

A lady at my group was asking to start her baby weaning at 13 weeks as she felt he was ready! My DS is currently 20 weeks and showing no interest whatsoever and I have every intention of waiting until he is 6 months. When I first read about BLW I thought 'OMG! He'll choke'. However, having researched, DH and I are very happy to try this. We may do a bit of puree too but really, i'll just see what DS wants to do.
What does amaze me is the standard question that EVERYONE has been asking me 'have you given him baby rice yet'

cupsoftea · 03/06/2008 09:21

At the playgroup we go to - I'm the only one who bf to 6 months & is still bf & not giving formula as well. I mash up what we are eating rather than make ice cube size puree meals. Co-sleep as well, use a babysling..... Wonder what they all think!!!!

JiminyCricket · 03/06/2008 09:24

everyone gets so anxious about doing the right thing, or guilty about not doing the right thing, that it comes out in pressure...I think I've just about mastered the confidence to do my own thing (and not necessarily what i planned to do) and truthfully not feel apologetic/defensive/wounded/judgemental about other people's decisions (well OK, a bit judgemental...) sometimes not getting drawn into these kind of conversations works best for me (I play with the babies and kids a lot at get togethers...)its such a relief when you go with your instincts and don't have to justify every single little decision

Original poster
ChairmumMiaow · 03/06/2008 09:35

Thanks for all the lovely messages.

Nobody has actually suggested I give him some solid food - mainly I think because I don't complain about his sleeping.

I guess the biggest problem is going from feeling involved and part of a group, to feeling completely left out because everyone else has "moved on" - and were not even the youngest baby (although there are only 2 younger, 1 and 2 days younger than DS)

I shall just continue to bite my tongue and try to find something else to talk about!

OP posts:
Fillyjonk · 03/06/2008 09:38

awwww

i had great pressure to wean ds at 4 months from hv

held out til about 5.5 months (and I am quite bolshie). who guidelines were different then

it is hard with first babies (I assume this is a first baby as a. you won't go to playgroup b. won't give a stuff on baby > 1)

you are doing the right thing though

Caz10 · 03/06/2008 20:03

"Then again, yesterday I met a woman with a baby of a similar age to mine who said 'have you heard of BLW?' - we had such a lovely chat about it!"

oh bella I am sooo jealous!! To the OP - yes I am feeling more like a freakshow as the days go on! We are starting BLW this week actually (at 25.5wks - cheaters!- but dd won't take a bottle and I have to go into work for a day next week, hoping she might take a wee bit of mush while I'm away...anyway i digress...) and it's been at LEAST a month of people asking why we haven't weaned yet, if not longer. Now that I am saying oh yes we're doing it this week, people start chuntering on about baby rice and "filling her up" when I know it will be a case of bits of sweet potato and brocoli chucked to the ground for a while yet...

I am also the only person I know (in RL!) still bf-ing.

flowerybeanbag · 03/06/2008 20:07

I assumed everyone in my NCT group would wait until 6mo and that most would be BLW as well. Then it got to 4/5 mo and they were all whipping out the little pots of puree, warming flasks and all that palaver when we were out. DS was still chugging back the milk, and then after 6mo was just having bits of my dinner.

I didn't feel any pressure at all, and no one asked about it, but I was surprised that it seemed to be just me waiting and just me BLW.

SenoraPostrophe · 03/06/2008 20:08

I don't really understand why it bothers you, unless they're constantly trying to persuade you to wean?

your friends' children are ever so slightly more likely to get diarrhea than yours. I really don't understand why people make such a big deal of it.

if it bothers you so much just lie about his age.

Caz10 · 03/06/2008 20:18

SenoraPostrophe i can't speak for the OP but for me it's just quite wearing to get the continual looks, comments etc - I don't feel pressured very much, and am happty with my choices, but tired of being made to feel like a bit of a weirdo and also it would be nice to discuss feeding etc in RL!