Tearing my hair out with almost 11 month old refusing solids

[Tunacheesequesadilla]

We started out pretty well with solids but it's massively fallen off over the last few weeks. We're at the point that she's barely eating anything at all. I don't know what I can do to encourage her to eat.

I'm offering her three meals a day with no pressure to eat.

I've tried shorter and longer times between BFing and mealtimes with no noticeable difference.

She's not teething, as far as I can see. She has four teeth and no signs of any more coming in. No other symptoms of teething either.

I try to eat with her, but she actually seems to eat more when I ignore her and get on with stacking the dishwasher.

I always give her something that she likes, alongside new foods. Although, this is hard because what she likes seems to change daily.

She has never liked:
Eggs (in any form)
Banana
Porridge
Potato
Toast
Those blw pancakes

Things she will sometimes eat:
Avocado
Pasta
Raw tomato
Grapes (obsessed and will eat them until I stop cutting them up for her)
Cheerios (also obsessed)
Kiwi
Blueberries
Cucumber
Cheese
Most meats

She used to like yoghurt but that's been refused for a couple of weeks. This makes breakfast tricky with eggs, banana, porridge and toast off the table too.

She's consuming so little, even of the foods she likes, and it's really stressing me out. It's so frustrating spending time planning and making meals for it to all go untouched. Or chucked on the floor.

I can't see how we're going to be reliably eating 3 meals a day by 12 months.

Grateful for any advice!

Give up for four weeks, other than plonking some of whatever you’re having in front of her while you sit together and have a meal.

If energy levels are fine she’s getting the nutrition she needs. It’ll click one day. And probably swap
overnight if anything like my child.

Thank you. That is good advice. I've been thinking about just sticking to very simple things for her.

Energy levels are fine. She's a mad thing honestly. She's been walking since 9 months old and spends most of the day chasing our cat around.

Just give her what she will eat and don’t worry. If it’s grapes and Cheerios, so be it. Cereals have carbs and vitamins etc so she’ll be fine.

They are good enough for now and given her energy is ok … don’t worry mum. She’ll come to it eventually if you give her space.

It was the best piece of advice I got in a similar frustrating period.

A hungry child who isn’t getting enough nutrition doesnt have energy. And when you take a step back that’s an obvious statement but you don’t get it in the middle of it.

I’d go less than simple. Go the FOMO route, you’re eating, they can choose to join in or be left out.

Do you BF in waking @Tunacheesequesadilla? If so, do you have a DH/DP who could take her downstairs and give her breakfast instead?

If she’s feeding in the night you could consider some gentle night weaning.

I do agree with the other posters too. It’s our job to provide food but she doesn’t have to eat it. You’ve done your bit though

edited because of typos.

I was about to post something really similar, my DD is the same age and I’m losing my mind because she doesn’t eat ANYTHING it feels like and all her peers seem to be on three big meals a day.

Your list is far more exhaustive than mine although maybe I should try Cheerios. Do you give them to her hard?

I feel the same! All my friends babies seem to love food and eat loads.

And yes, just hard Cheerios. Handfuls from the box lol. She loves them! I guess they're not the worst thing she could have, they're fortified and good for working on her pincer grasp.

I've seen people soak them in milk to make them softer but my DD doesn't have a problem and, I think, enjoys the crunch. I suppose the big hole in the middle negates the choking risk haha.

Cheerios are also really good for practicing the pincer grip

I'm my experience with both of mine weaning is very slow and mind didn't really eat proper meals until well into being 1. Just take your time but try and offer food before milk from now on I'd say just slowly try and get the food in and milk for a top up and then go from there

I missed this. Yes, I do bf when she wakes. She sleeps through the night as of recently, but my dh leaves too early most days. We could definitely try that on weekends though!

She's actually done really well with her food today! She's currently working on a tuna cheese quesadilla.

I'm BLW with my 11m and she is hardly eats anything too! Cucumber at best... it had started so well around 7m....

Since a few months she's standing up from her highchair and it breaks the meal. I take her in my arms and try to feed her a bit from my lap. the harness never works. anyone else have this happen and can suggest some advice?

Sounds like you're doing everything right. I would keep offering with no pressure like you are. I consider my children (3 and 18 months) "good eaters" but they still go through phases of refusal and there's loads of meals they won't eat, so a certain level of picky eating is normal.

She's breastfed which is good as that will give her some good nutrients. Mine weren't breastfed at this age but I would have felt comforted knowing they were having breast milk if their eating wasn't great.

You called also introduce a multivitamin and then at least you know she's getting some extra vitamins.

I think at this age eating is still such a challenge for them because they don't have as many teeth, and their fine motor skills aren't fully developed. They get it down them a lot quicker and easier by the time they're 18 months.

Sounds like good progress. Hoping ots continued

@Amylearningaboutbabycan you tell us what a typical day looks like for milk and food?

Im at the end of my tether with feeding mine, nothing works, the health visitors advice yesterday was feed her more, which is quite frankly ridiculous. I have no idea where to turn to for help and I feel so angry every meal time. Her sleep is still shit too which doesn’t help.

I feel this completely. I put so much effort into making meals for her and she refuses to touch them or they go straight on the floor.

Sleep deprivation really affects my patience too, and it gets hard to hide my frustration.

How old is your baby?

She’s 11 months next week and I just don’t know how she’s going to be having full meals in a month rather than milk! Unless starting nursery miraculously cures her

Honestly, barring some specific disabilities, every child learns to eat sooner or later. I've never met a 3 year old who simply hasn't learned to eat, although some are more interested in food than others!

It's another one of those things that seems like a stressful race when you're in the thick of it, but is actually a really short and relatively inconsequential part of parenting once you're out the other side. Offer food (I would say not too much as it can be overwhelming) regularly and try to focus more on health and energy levels than how much is being eaten.

The best advice I was given was firstly remember that her stomach is only the size of her fist so her portions will be really really tiny.

Secondly a baby won’t starve themselves. If she’s hungry she will eat or drink more.

Keep offering tiny portions of different things, even things she doesn’t like and tiny portions of what you are eating and try not to sweat it.

Now having said that….its so much easier said than done to not sweat it, it seems massively stressful at the time and can become a bit all consuming, but it’ll be OK.

I would suggest stopping making so much effort either her meals! It makes it all the more frustrating when they then throw it on the floor. Just give her whatever bit of what you’re eating that is suitable for her and if none of it is suitable give her grapes or Cheerios. She’ll get there in her own time

Has she got her 12 month check with her HV coming up? If not I would contact them and ask for a date. I would also talk to them and HV about how you’re feeling. Being angry over food can be a sign of PNI

Honestly I think that sounds alright! Keep offering different items alongside those, she might eventually
try them and widen her diet. (Although I’m 2.5 years in on a child that’s only been interacting with food for 6 months, so I tend to take a it will be ok in the end/take it slow and no pressure/don’t show any emotion regarding the food they will or will not eat/ you can’t force it approach.) It’ll get easier x

@Shamesameyou might find this guide from the Caroline Walker Trust helpful. You’ll need from page 77.

And have you read My Child Won’t Eat?