a way to get 12 month old less reliant on the boob?!

[ralsta]

since turning 1 she seems to be wanting boob MORE not less 🤯 she’s still eating loads of solids but just constantly wants to be on the boob. i suspect it’s teething but it’s exhausting i can’t get anything done

im newly single and have a little boy who’s 4 so as you can imagine he’s fairly demanding of my time also

i dont mind continuing breastfeeding but is there anything i can try or does anyone have any hope for me if they’ve been in a similar situation?!

right now ive been upstairs since 6:30 with her latched onto me and whenever i try and unlatch she’s awake and looking for a boob again

in the daytime if i say no more boob she SCREAMS and grapples at my chest desperate for it so i just give in. half the time she’s not even interested but if i then pull my bra back up she starts crying for it!

help!

You have to be firm and tough when enough is enough. I remember this period well with ds - it's hard when they're now big and strong!

I think he was 14mo when I kept feeding to sleep but stopped all daytime feeds because he didn't need it and I needed my body back.
I would say 'no, milky is finished and only for bedtime' and would offer him a cuddle instead but he would just toddle away as wasn't what he wanted.
I was worried he was going to hate me for a while (and tbh I think he sort of did as I didn't get much affection from him during this period) but I didn't give in. It's more a habit to break than a need for bf

I wore high neck tops he couldn't pull down, during the day, offered to take him to bed if he wanted milk (when I knew he wouldn't want to) and reinforced milky being only for bedtime/sleep
It didn't take too long

I'm now 32 weeks pregnant and after completely forgetting about breastfeeding, or so I thought, he's suddenly taken a huge interest in my boobs again and I'm worried when my milk comes in for dd he's going to be trying to latch as well (he's 3.5 now 🙈)

If you suspect teething, have you tried giving calpol?
If you are newly single, is she perhaps adjusting to the other parent not being around as much/at all?
I did stop feeding except for mornings and evenings at the age of one, because I didn't want to dress for it, but I managed it by giving extra food, and it sounds like you've done that.

It's hard. What do you want the feeding to be like? If you feel happy to continue maybe you need an idea in mind of when is ok for you and when isn't. It's definitely ok to make some boundaries that you feel you can stick to, but you need to be clear in your mind and go for it, because these kiddos sense hesitation and react strongly when they know there's a chance you will change your mind! So if you have a plan for example - when hurt or distressed, at certain junctures in the day that suit her/you, you can just introduce that and calmly hold the line, expecting some big reactions at first but I found they do accept new routines fairly quickly if consistent.

It is very hard especially if they like to remain latched on you whilst sleeping. Could you pop the baby in a sling instead which means you should be able to still play with 4 year old as you'll have your hands free.

This phase does pass, I remember it well. I'm not entirely sure I managed it brilliantly, as my oldest got very jealous of youngest (I had the same age gap). You can unfortunately only do what you can do. If baby is asleep on you, you and oldest could sit in bed together as well and draw, watch some cbeebies....I know you don't want to be in bed all the time of course.