DS refusing spoon. need help with BLW

[Meandmyjoe]

Hi all,

I'm a bit worried about ds who is 9 months old. Always been very distracted at meal time (solids, not milk feeds).

Anyway, it has now reached an all time low of him hitting the spoon and crying when ever I try and feed hi purees and mash.

Short of holding his nose and force feedibg him I see no way of spoon feeding him!

For the past few days me and dh have been giving him more finger foods and going down the BLW route.

My main concern is that he seems to be eating less than a baby sparrow would do! He is a big lad (25lbs) and is also very tall and active.

We gave him some toast for breakfast but half a strip was all he had before he got bored and just didn't want to know anymore. We tried him with a scotch pancake which he really enjoyed ripping up into crumbs but only had one mouthful to eat.

For dinner he had a tiny bit of my jacket potato and a tiny bit of rusk.

For tea he had a couple of tiny bites of sausage roll.

Will he starve?? I mean, he is only taking about 20 oz of milk now as well so I'm really worried that he will just never get the hang of solids. Please help!

He will not starve.

Appetite and size are not linked ime.

His main source of nutrition is milk.

Let him play around with food, sounds like you're doing the right thing. He will definitely get the hang of solids before he is 20, don't worry!

This happened with DD at around the same age. I was fraught too that she wasn't getting enough and spent ages thinking about how on earth I was going to get enough into her.
Like other poster says, milk is primary source of nutrition. Some days they eat loads, some days it's a bite of toast and sliver of pear.
Give him lots of independence to play with food and explore lots of tastes, colours and textures. He'll pick it up (excuse the pun) really quickly.

Thanks for reassuring me. I don't want to make it too much of an issue with ds as one of my friends kept spoon feeding her ds even when he was crying and pushing it away, he's 2 now and is severely underweight and has a mojor aversion to food. I'm just paranoid the same will happen to our ds.

How long does it take for them to actually eat normal amopunts with BLW? He seems to be eating a tiny fraction of what he did when he was on purees, (although most of that is probably water!)

hello!

Did he ever accept purees? was there any he enjoyed? If there was, could you try making the 'real' version in blw for him?

The hot weather won't be helping, it reduces their appetites substantially! (even my bottomless little piglet!) you could try giving him some juicy fruit salad, cubes of melon, quartered grapes, strawberries etc to get him enjoying blw again? Can he pick up small things between finger and thumb? if so, you could try him with a handful of peas and sweetcorn on his tray, see if he likes that?

I would be tempted to add another bottlefeed since it's hot and he's not getting as much liquid and nutrition from purees, until he's more established with blw.

My last suggestion- if he wants the spoon, give him the spoon! Give him a levelled spoonful of his dinner, you take another spoon, and feed him when you can as he chews his own spoon. I'm accepting no responsibilty for ruined soft furnishings though!

If it's any consolation, yesterday all J ate was a bit of toast, about five raisins and two tiny yoghurts (and about three pints of watery juice) - it's just too hot for them!

Ey up James! How are you??!

Yest he did used to be a bit of a piggy with purees when O started at 6 months but then teething/ frustration/ maybe the weather seems to have set him back.

I really hate to get him distressed at meal times as I LOVE food so much (maybe too much!!) and I want him to have the same enjoyment and not dread meal times the way my friend's ds does!

Thanks for the advice. x

Sorry yest was meant to be yes! My typing it dreadful!

it was is, crap I need to read before I post!

Yes he can pick up small things between his finger and thumb but tends to put things in whole and gags a lot!

We're ok ta, had a lovely weekend, they weather has been gorgeous hasn't it?

No, teething doesn't help either, you're right, it seems to disrupt all their routines. (Apparently it's even worse when the big back teeth are coming through, says my friend with a toddler) What fun!

I wouldn't get too stressed over it, if he was once a good eater, I'm sure he will be again. If he's anything like James, he'll be far too interested in toys, people, and going outside, and things he shouldn't be touching to be too bothered about food right now. James can just about muster enough interest to eat new and unusual foods at the moment, but old relied-upon staples aren't worthy of a gumming, apparently!

It's keeping me on my toes having to think of new things to try him with, so today it's been (shh, don't tell the food police) a mini cornetto! they're the perfect shape for blw as the cone stops their hand hurting from the cold of the icecream. I had to nibble to chopped nuts off first, naturally. It was a tough job but somebody had to do it...

Does Joe like cheese? if he does, it's so versatile and can be used to enourage James to eat virtually anything: can be given in chunks, melted on fingers of toast, crumpet or pasta, mixed with mashed potato or scrambled egg, made into a sauce to coat veg or fish etc and a daily portion of cheese or yoghurt takes away the need for another bottle as long as he gets enough fluid from other sources (according to my hv anyway)

Oh, in response to your last post: have you tried giving him one pea/sweetcorn/raisin/cheerio at a time? It's less time onsuming than you think (and a great game for them, you acting like a pez dispenser!) and you may find he eats LOADS more than if you give him a trayful which he can sweep onto the floor.

I think they get overwhelmed when there's too much on the tray, too. They don't know where to start so they don't try. Weirdos.

Oh we had this with both DS and now with DD (now 11mo).

Things we have success with: slices of banana at breakfast. Cheerios which are soft from sitting in milk, given to her on her tray. Also let them try to eat with a spoon themselves - they might suprise you. Start with v sticky foods like fromage frais, thick porridge, even aforementioned 'wet' cheerios.

At lunch, pouches from Ella or Cow & Gate - they just suck them, and it works because they are 'feeding themselves' but still getting healthy food. Rusks - mini rusks too. Also those various crunchy snacks by Organix are brilliant finger foods. Sometimes I offer little sandwiches too and am suprised what DD will manage to eat.

Dinner oftentimes is pasta and when freshly cooked it's soft and ideal finger food. Plus when she sees DS eating it it's even more appealing

Don't worry about this being a 'forever thing' though. In a few months I'm sure things will change when appetite dies down as it seems to after 1yr, and more teeth come in.

Good luck!

20oz of milk is fine! That's exactly how much they need, so he is having plenty of nutrition. My DS also eats about the same amount - chews everything but most of it gets spat out. I would carry on with what you're doing for a month, get him weighed and as long as he's still putting on weight then that's proof that he's getting enough food (whether in solid or milk form). Re. purees, I give DS 2 spoons, one for each hand, and I can get more into him that way, but he's still often reluctant. I was also wondering how long it is before they start to eat proper amounts with BLW so will be interested to hear any responses about that!

i don't know the answer to that, tinkjon, esp if you're trying to get more in etc. it's not really the point of BLW, as you know. no limit on milk and just let them play and explore the food, because they do get the hang of it at different times. like every other development, smiling, walking etc, they all get there. the thing about purees (in terms of BLW at least) is that you're subverting that development process by deciding to start at 6 months and then feeding them, iykwim?

'course it may make no difference whatsoever in the long run, but i mention it because that's kinda why the concept of 'blw and purees' rather than 'finger food and purees' kind of distorts the point of blw, as the gist is that you let them go at their pace.

and wrt to the OP, it'll probably be a wee learning curve at your baby's age, so make sure milk is super-available. he might gag a bit as his grips will be developed beyond his ability to control food in his mouth, but stay calm and i'm sure it'll be fun and fine.

I do believe however, that spoon-feeding can also be BLW. If a baby shows no interest in the spoon and you stop offering it, then that's still letting them go at their own pace.

well, it's not really a question of belief, it's just what it is. the term BLW does refer to the whole Gill Rapley thing, and that's self-feeding. however, clearly it doesn't mean that anyone spoon-feeding their child is force-feeding them, that would be ludicrous. it's like being a Conservative or being conservative. of course you can be led by your baby without doing BLW, it's just that BLW is a thing.

and tbh imo if you are doing purees then you aren't doing BLW, as such. but the nhs does now totally recommend what you're doing, ie mixing mash and finger food from 6 months.

I wouldn't panic at all, DC's 2 and 3 didn't even bother until 9mo and 8mo respectively - they then started nicking my lunch (we always have the baby at the table when we eat, saves me having to fetch them whem the inevitable happens and they want feeding as soon as I pick a fork up )I've never stressed about using a spoon before they can get food to their mouths and get it down, their coordination is pretty pants until they are quite a bit older IME. As aitch says, purees muddy the waters, they're not necessary and are only sold as a vehicle to get us to wean babies far too early - Oh and normally developing babies will not wilfully starve themselves!

"purees are sold as a vehicle to get us to wean far too early" ?! Do you really believe that, jamila? First time I've ever heard that opinion before

Jamila may have a point there; The earlier you create the consumer, the sooner companies can start making money off them.

James, Why are purees any different to finger foods in that respect though? 'Baby and toddler' finger foods are sold just as much as jars of purees. People have been feeding their babies purees for years, even before TV advertising was around!

i don't know so much about purees but baby and toddler finger food is pretty crap imo, all stupid corn puffs and biscuits, even if they are sweetened with grape juice you're still better off giving your child a cut grape. i can't imagine they sell that much of them compared to the jars tbh.

Most baby and toddler fingerfoods are sold with a 7-9 month reccommendation on the side (perhaps with the exception of rusk as they say you can crush them into milk for 4 month+ babies)

I have no particular beef with babyfood (other than it being so bland- they make us believe babies need bland food when imo really it's just them using cheap baby rice as "filler" in the jars) it's convient and without it a lot of babies would have no access to fruit and veg.

I just think that in every area these days the marketing is getting so ruthless- it isn't about early weaning (I ahve no opinion on that as long as people aren't weaning their babies on happy meals and espresso's, let 'em get on with it, imho) the greedy companies just want to get their money rolling in as soon as possible, and for as long as possible. i.e ready made toddler meals ffs- follow on milk for over 1's instead of cows milk- they're preying on parents who want to do the best by their child and don't realise that stuff is unecessary.

Will get off soapbox now (ruthless marketing is a pet peeve!) and go and enjoy the sunshine for a bit!

oooo I've started a bit of a debate haven't I???! I have to say that I am NOT against purees at all as I make my own and always found ds liked them (until recently!).

I am just going with the flow though and allowing him to 'pick' at whatever I am eating and also offering him other bits and bobs.

He managed a bit more of a sausage roll today, a bite of plum and some cheese spread on toast. He also had a few spoon fulls of my cheesey mash potato from my plate.

Still not eating massive amounts but is drinking plenty and having a fair amount of milk . He is still sleeping thorough (touch wood) so I'm assuming he's not starving!

He seems to think of food as a toy and somethingd to crumble and play wth rather than actually eat. I'm hoping this is normal though!

I'll take him to get weighed next week though just to reassure myself.

Thanks so much for all the replies!

Playing with food sounds perfectly normal to me! J often stops eating to squish the food between his hands til it makes farty noises. I should stop laughing at it, really!