15mo has never taken to solids

[VioletC94]

My 15mo absolutely hates food! I eat all meals at the table with them every day and always have done. They never put food or toys in their mouth not even to explore as a young baby, but fingers are constantly in their mouth when teething.
There are no signs of chewing no matter how much we demonstrate, they just hold food in their mouth until it melts or goes to mostly liquid. We are currently getting by with heavily mashed food, but even small lumps cause gagging and vomiting. Breakfast and snacks seem to be okay but mealtimes are really difficult. Can tolerate very small pieces of banana and toast, and anything that melts.
Every meal time is a battle and it’s just taking a toll on me mentally now. We are awaiting an appointment at the hospital to be assessed to see which direction they can point us in and which specialist to be referred to.
Wondering if anyone else’s little one has been in a similar position and how things turned out? Also looking for some tips to take the fear away from food and make them enjoy mealtimes again because it’s so sad seeing how upset they get multiple times a day. I will list the things I have tried over the past 10 months with no luck.

Increasing textures
Different cutlery
Different seats
Two spoons
Finger foods
Messy play
Leaving food out at their level
Osteopath to relieve tension

I’m hoping this is all just a phase and I will be able to laugh about it one day..!

My son is/was like this though not as extreme, but goes through phases with food that leave us dreading meals when we had been so excited to feed our baby solids, expecting it to be fun!

How much milk is your little guy getting? I ask because my son has a dairy allergy so gets oatmilk which isn't as filling so he still has a bottle before bed and one in the night at 18 months (awful sleeper too) and relied on some milk before a nap for while too so wasn't hungry for food. Getting that lower helped as he was then hungry. Is your little one a good weight and staying on their centile trajectory?

Lastly my sisters son sound alot like yours with the gagging, he's still not a great eater at 2 and has mushy but lumpy food plus toddler snacks as he likes those, and is slim but always on the go. To break the cycle of crying (as he got a bad association with his high chair at meal times) she had to crack out tv with meals until he got used to food more and then phased it out. Its one of those things we parents swear we'll never do but it broke that fear cycle for my nephew and now he eats, albeit still softish food, happily in his high chair.

8oz before nap and 8oz before bed, otherwise all hell breaks loose! Yes I might have to decrease that nap time bottle.
I haven’t had them weighed in a few months, was always tracking on 95th but I can tell that the baby ‘chub’ has gone but they’re moving so much more at this age. Having a weighing in a few weeks so will be good to know.

Sounds like my son, 97th for weight and tracked fine but been a pain for his phases of rejecting lumpy food, its improved a bit now he's trying to feed himself more, polished off some normal chopped up pasta the other day, we were delighted, then stopped doing it since 😅 the phases are killers, we've learned to just accept it and go with it as we were getting so down about it!

My 18 month still has bed time and night wake up milk, probably need to power through not giving him it in the night but it's the only thing that settles him and he wakes 2 to 4 times a night crying, it's been a killer 😆

Hopefully once it clicks that they can use their hands for feeding things will improve! I kept thinking it’s just a phase and by Christmas it’ll be better but we’ve just seen so little improvement since 6mo, such a shame.
Oh bless you, those night wakes are tough. Hope it gets better for you soon 🤞🏼

My eldest could not tolerate anything but super smooth textures until they were 12 months so you gave my sympathy.

It's really good that you have the referral in place. Is there any way that you can chase that up?

With my DC1 the cause of their issues was a Tongue Tie. Does your DS have any of these symptoms?

Our appointment is next month thank goodness.
Yes! I persisted with midwives and health visitors and eventually at 7.5mo they believed me and looked inside the mouth and lo and behold there was a tongue tie all along as I suspected. Was told to wait until 12mo to see if it sorted itself out. Looking inside the mouth there seems to be what I think is a high palate too. How did you go with your little one and their tongue tie? My family member’s little one also has a tongue tie and they seem to have no problems weaning, I just don’t understand! Such a minefield isn’t it.

You say "Breakfast and snacks seem to be okay but mealtimes are really difficult." Can you be more specific. What is different that makes it work. The type of food? Boxed vs fresh? Sweet vs savoury?
You can't teach chewing, it needs to become a reflex with double outcome. To produce saliva to lubricate food and to move food with the tongue to the back of the throat.
It always surprises me how mothers are given no guidance on weaning from doctors. In France, kids don't have a GP but a paediatrician, and they give so much importance and guidance on weaning. They make us start with soups, and they also explain how you should at first only dio the spoon in soup, or only put 1/4 of food on it. To stimulate the lip reflex that will later create the chewing reflex.
The second thing they insist one is to prepare food we would eat ourselves, in other words, food tasting nice.
Try soupy food. Baby pasta cooked in a rich broth with parmesan and a tiny piece of butter (it combines the 3 flavours of salty, fatty, sweet) . A soupy risotto, a sweet based soup such as pumpkin,

It is also possible that the food they are eating, the snacky food is the root of the problem. You can compete against the attractiveness of ultra processed foods. They are engineered to be irresistible.

If the breakfast and snack are eggs and soldiers, and a banana vs cheerios/readybrek and melty puffs, try avoiding those, because they are transforming their taste and preferences and you will struggle.

We had huge problems with weaning, sleep (did I mention he didn't sleep through for years) and speech.

I'd still go to the appointment but I'd also talk to your local Tongue Tie Practitioner

Ooh, you've met DD (who is now 12). This sounds very familiar.

One thing that helped me was separating out nutrition and learning to eat - DD drank (lots and lots) of toddler formula, which is nutritionally complete, so the issue was getting her to eat.

The first solids we had any significant success with were chicken nuggets and chocolate buttons - both suggested by a dietitian, as foods she might eat, and learn that food helps with hunger; that was at about 15 months. We think texture is the main issue for her.

Sorry for the gross question, but has your DC's poo changed consistency? It should with weaning. DD's didn't change until 18 months, to give you an idea of how much she was eating.

She still eats a very restricted diet, but it includes all the major food groups. She also didn't sleep through the night until she went to school, but her speech by 3 was excellent, both in terms of pronunciation and vocabulary. There are other sensory issues (clothes) but apart from that, she's developed normally, and is flying academically.

Feel free to ask more if you want!

Don’t know where you live but google
Birmingham Food Refusal service.

Children can be referred but there’s expert support and advice. They also run courses for parents.
There are food fact sheets on toddler feeding on the infant and toddler forum.
Dr Gillian Harris is a well known expert in the field.

Breakfast is either porridge oats or weetabix with whole milk, has never liked eggs no matter how I cook them. Snacks are banana broken into chunks, toast with peanut butter or some wafers if we are on the go and need to grab something.
I presume that by other’s responses the untreated tongue/lip tie might be a huge part of the problem. Food does not appear to move to the back of the mouth easily, it’s more of a forced swallow.
There appears to be a huge fear around food and an unwillingness to try or even touch with their hands, and I need to try and crack that before starting again so whatever works to get them eating I guess!
I do feel upset and disappointed in how this journey has turned out for us and despite me asking for help and guidance from many health practitioners I have just been told to wait and see. I’m glad that in France they get the help they need and if you are talking about personal experience from that system then I’m happy for you that you have access to this, but it is simply not the same here. Thank you for your suggestions and I will try the foods you mentioned.

Would they see us over 12mo? Most seem hesitant to see children over 6mo, and mine is 15mo.
I imagine we will be referred on to ENT after the first hospital appointment, from what I understand if it needs sorting it’s likely done under GA.

Funnily enough I have read the nuggets and buttons suggestion before! Maybe you have posted elsewhere haha. I’m so hesitant but honestly at this point I need to remove the fear around foods so I would try anything!
It’s definitely changed in consistency since the milk days, and has kind of gone in the opposite direction and can sometimes be quite hard. I would say there is more straining so I have tried to up water and fibre intake and have noticed an improvement.
I’m so pleased things improved for you. It can feel like a really dark and lonely time can’t it. You must be really proud!

Brilliant. I’ll certainly give this a look. Thank you!

@VioletC94 Our daughter accessed the service and it was the first time we felt truly understood.
Dr Gillian Harris and Dr Elizabeth Shea ( who used to work there) have both written books around food refusal.

• Would they see us over 12mo? Most seem hesitant to see children over 6mo, and mine is 15mo. I imagine we will be referred on to ENT after the first hospital appointment, from what I understand if it needs sorting it’s likely done under GA.*

Sorry I completely forgot about the age thing. I know that some Dentists will do it privately but omit a few.

I’m so glad they helped you! We are not local but I will look into their resources.

We live in the North West not Birmingham. Good luck and try not to worry or blame yourself in any way ( easier said than done)
We had the “ give her to me for a week she will soon eat” comments to endure.

Yes, that would have been me!

A lot of posts about 'children who won't eat anything' are about fussy children, but they often do eat quite a lot of things, and I did indeed find it lonely dealing with a child who was off the scale - for example, when DD started nursery (at 3) she ate nothing at all whilst there for the first 6 months, and then would deign to eat plain pasta (which she was, by then, eating at home). Whereas most fussy children eat fine at nursery.

Back onto the poo (sorry!); we switched DD to cows milk at 12 months, and got horrific constipation (with blood) at which point we went back to formula, which solved it. I don't know if your DC's milk is formula or cows milk, but if constipation is a problem, apparently that much dairy (did I mention DD drank a lot?!) can cause issues.

Where are you based? Try Stacey Zimmels at Feed Eat Speak. Shes a feeding and swallowing specialist. She's excellent. She's in London but does online consultations too