Old, old story - the breastfed 9mo, the scales-toting HV and the SOLIDS.

[MrsBadger]

8.5m check today - précis follows

--

HV: oh isn't she lovely, sitting well, moving toys from hand to hand, pincer grip, two teeth, attempting to crawl [ticks boxes], she's just perfect. Still having any bf?

MrsB: oh yes, 3 EBMs a day at nursery and on demand all night

HV: oh lovely, how's she sleeping?

MrsB: rubbish, always has done, cosleeping so not too bothered

HV: fine fine. Started solids? Three meals a day?

MrsB: only two, doesn't want breakfast

HV: fair enough if she's been on the milk all night
[gets out scales]
[reads numbers]
[face falls]

HV: SHE HAS DROPPED TWO PERCENTILES SINCE BIRTH! [75th-25th]

MrsB: well yes but only one since she was last weighed (at 9wks), could have dropped ages ago

HV: still that is not good, give her more solids

MrsB: what?

HV: she is filling up on milk, she needs more solids

MrsB: So solids are more calorie dense than milk?

HV: Yes. Cut her daytime milk and give her water instead.

MrsB: But I was trying to get milk into her in the daytime so she'd wake less for it at night. And surely water has no calories at all?

HV: yes, but she won't drink as much so will eat more solids. It's a vicious circle you have to break. Try no milk at all between 8am and 4pm.

MrsB: [quivers at thought of denying dd lovely milk] [nods and smiles and legs it]

--

I have to go back in 8wks to have her weighed again.

Do I
a) leave well alone and sod HV
b) leave milk and force more solids
c) cut milk and hope hunger does the job

farking HV, dd is perfect and I resent being made to feel I am starving / neglecting her when I am NOT

a), and d) Don't go back and get her weighed...

but she has made an appointment

it is in the diary

god I am so hacked off

HV is loon (how many people do you want to echo that?).
Go to great lengths to Avoid her in future.

YOu are not obliged to have her weighed, call back and say you've just realised you're away on that date and will call to reschedule, then never go back

Phone up 3 days before the appointment, at a time you know she's got clinic so it will go to ansaphone, and say that you have a family holiday you forgot about. You will get in touch after you get back.

Might be 3 years after you get back, but she's not to know that...

Oh definitely a) and d) Don't go back. You don't have to. How can a healthy 'perfect' baby turn into a FTT with one quick weigh?

My DS dropped two centiles from birth and then jumped up to 50th centile around 12 months. It wasn't anything I did, he still had as much milk day and night as he wanted, but he suddenly became a lot more interested in food. You can't make them be interested.

this is the trouble, in every other respect she has been perfectly intelligent wrt bfing, delaying weaning till 6m, cosleeping, BLW, cotton nappies etc

and now this

(have geekily plotted dd on the WHO curve and the drop is much less dramatic)

She's not in charge though. You don't have to agree with her on this because you have on other things.

Mrs B your daughter sounds gorgeous and a little like mine (9 months next week)

Mine "failed" her 8 month check for not rolling over. I lied about the 3 meals she wasn't really eating b/fast every day.

I was a bit about my 8 mth check anyway, they are only offered randomly here. (I think I am down as an awkward mother hence got called in. I refused to do a "questionnaire" check for dd1 at 3 years. Either they need a check by a hv or they don't imo)

Anyway, back to your op (!). I would continue as you are, sounds as if it is working well for you and your family and you are all happy. Surely that is the most important thing. My dd is on slightly less milk but that is because she prefers less in the day too "busy" to ask (she is too busy I mean not me)

You got me all excited, I thought it had all turned out fine until I scrolled down She will eat more when she is ready. You can't force feed her. Leave her Milk alone and just offer her solids a bit later in the Morning, DD often won't eat breakfast even now at 20m as she has had a BF when we wake up. I still offer it every day but more often than not the days I work it is just too much too early. At Nursery they have Milk and a Snack (fruit) at 9.30 and she always eats then.

Funny i was told it didn't matter that dd2 had drop from 98th to the 50th.

Is it because she is sitting well, moving toys from hand to hand, pincer grip and crawling and trying walk . The fact that she is only having 2 meals (maybe breakfast), but only has 5 x 5/7oz a day.

Mrs Badger, ds2 was 8lb 3oz when he was born, which put him on the 75th centile. I had him weighed about a month ago and he had dropped below the 2nd . I had the HV come round to check his length and head circ as well - all below or around 2nd centile. HV took one (good) look at him and said, well he is chubby, happy, feeding plenty and passes all the other developmental tests for his age. Then she looked at me (5'2") and dh (5'7") and said, he's just obviously not going to be big!!

The only difference is that he eats breakfast too, and he eats masses (more than his 2.9 year old brother!). I'd like to see what advice your HV would give me .

Don't worry about it, continue what you are doing. Whatever you do don't cut down on the milk she is having, totally counter-productive! And yes, don't go back to the HV - you don't have to .

How odd. Ds3 has followed the same pattern as your dd (he will be 8mo at the weekend). Was weighed a couple of weeks ago and has gone since he was born from 75th to just above 25th. HV said - look at that, you know that this is absolutely fine - he's using more energy with his sitting, rolling etc so you can expect to see a drop; well done for still BF'ing, keep up the good work!

You can share my outcome if you prefer it to yours

oh bloody hell

have just had lunch with one of the old antenatal crowd who I haven't seen for a good 3 months.

her ds is 4 days younger than dd and was always a petite little chap, smaller built than dd

he's now a strapping rosy-cheeked chubster with a mop of blond curls and squishy knees

beside him dd looked the very picture of big-eyed pale undernourished patheticness, like a tiny Victorian orphan

have sent dh out for avocadoes and Guernsey yoghurt

a) and d) and hat peanutbutterkid said. Don't get stressed by the fact that another baby is a chubster.

MrsBadger - my DS was having 'too much milk' and not enough solids when HV did the 9 month check.

Her concern? That he was getting 'too heavy'. She then suggested cutting back on bm 'because of the iron thing' (her words). So goes to show you can't win.

Just keep on doing what you're doing, your DD sounds perfect and is v lucky to still be having the good stuff. And I know what it's like to be feeding all night at that age too!

FWIW DS started dropping milk at around 10/11 months of his own accord and was pretty much morning and night (unless ill) by a year. HTH

Keep doing what you're doing. DD hasn't gained a thing (possibly even lost half a pound) since she was 8 or 9 months old. She's now 15 months. She was always very active and still is and I believe that she simply can't stuff enough in to have any left over for weight gain. She's also small and I have no concerns about her health at all. She's bright, ahead on almost every milestone and eats well. She still bf overnight but doesn't have any in the day (my choice, due to biting) but that hasn't made a blind bit of difference to what she's taking in. She's like "grab food, eat fast, get on with playing" and won't spend hours consuming calories.

If I could find my red book I'd be able to work out how many centiles she's dropped. She was born bang on 50th and I think she'd be nearer to 2nd/9th now at best.

I would actually call your HVs bluff. Go to the next appointment. Challenge her about the calorie density thing. And then say that if she still has concerns, you'd prefer a referral to a paed or dietician to discuss it before you start mucking about with changing what she wants to do naturally. Usually that sends them backtracking and wanting to keep well away from you. Mind you, one of my friends the HV did get such a referral. It took 7 months to come through as her DD wasn't 'urgent' and when they did see the paed about "failure to thrive" he went nuts and said that the HV and GP had been daft and sorry she had been so worried. There was in fact, even by the charts, nothing wrong with her weight gain.

Definitely a) My just turned 2 year old still nurses twice, sometimes 3 whole times during the day. He didn;t even show any real interest in solids until he was almost 8 months. Your HV is truly whack.

option e!

re-educate your HV! Tell her how cool and sound her advice usually is, and how surprised you were at this googly she just dropped. Print some info for her on how NOT to interpret centile lines, and on calorific value of bm etc, and such stuff.

Tell her about catchdown growth.

FIX HER - she sounds like one worth fixing!

(and don't cut milk, obv)

My HV was jettisoned months ago so I watch people's HV traumas with interest and relief. I honestly can't imagine what advice an HV could give me that I couldn't improve upon with MN.

Mrs B, please challenge her - she's wrong wrong wrong. I'm so cross on your behalf that she's upset you like this.

I think for your own peace of mind and to stop her upsetting other people as well, you need to address this with her.

I was just wondering, which charts was she using? As I understand it the "breastfed only" charts will be very different at this age from the traditional ones, because breastfed babies' weight gain often slows in the second half of the first year.

Your dd sounds wonderful. Don't let this numpty undermine you.

Definatelt a) and d). DS is 11m and has heaps of breakfast, a bit of lunch and hardly any dinner (and snacks in the day), he hasn't been weighed for about 5 months, I just refuse to go. He's running around like mad and looks the same size as he did 2 months ago. He bf's heaps in the day and at night. Everyone is different, trust yourself

lol lol at OP

EBM daytime and bfing and cosleeping at night must be why dd never took much solids till over a year old.

Somehow she stayed on the 25% from 2 months till now! 3 yrs later.

health visitor is talking bollocks.

why can't they just look at a thriving baby and trust their eyes instead of their effing scales?

Oh, and my dd has danced over the centiles in every direction, sideways, upwards, downwards, off the bottom...she has followed the reverse pattern of your typical bf baby.

I just figure as long as she's between the top and the bottom she's 'normal', whatever that means.

have a little look at this linky to see where she sits on this chart...

You sound like you are both doing just fine!

a) and a)

DS was 10lbs 5oz at birth (am in NZ but still this was above the 98th centile or something)

at 8.5 month check he had dropped to below the 50th centile (breasfed, BLW (well ish - he led me to feed him MASSES, etc. etc.)

our sensible child health nurse just said - clearly he's fine, if you've got no worries then neither have I

And that was it! honestly they faff about fat babies and overweight toddler, they faff about underweight ones - if only they'd all look at a thriving baby and leave it alone.