14mo, numerous set backs, can't reduce her milk intake

[Alicia291]

So my 14mo was doing very well with food up until around 12mos. She was having 3 meals a day from 9mos and ate almost everything we gave her. We did a mixture of traditional weaning and BLW so we'd feed her a meal then allow her to feed herself finger foods. At around 12mos, we managed to reduce her milk intake a little and I was hopeful we were on the right track. At around 12mos, some days she'd only take 2 bottles (1 to nap), but needed 3 during the night (1 to sleep then 2 at night). I was worried about her still needing night feeds and my aim was to work on dropping these.

However, soon after she turned 12mo, and coinciding with me gradually swapping formula for cow's milk, she began to get very frequent bouts of constipation whereby she'd pass numerous small painful stools in a day, followed by overflow diarrhea. This would happen once every few days/a week. I tried to cut the cow's milk but was pressured by the HVs to keep trying to get her off the formula. And so we've in this cycle for around 6 weeks now. Alongside this, she's had a few new teeth erupt in quick succession. With the teething and constipation, she's gone off her food entirely. Foods she used to love (mince meat, pasta, aubergine, blueberries) she's refusing to eat. Some days she will not eat a complete meal. Good days now she'll eat lentils and carrots (a mix I make at home) mixed with baby rice, fruit pouches she'll also eat (which I didn't even use in the early stages of weaning!), and puffs/veggie straws, and cereals. Meanwhile her milk intake has increased to how it was before she turned 12mos (approx 800ml in 24hrs)

I finally bypassed the HV and went to see the GP who reminded me that formula doesn't suddenly become poisonous at 12mos, and that we'd work to address the constipation before worrying about her food. So that's what we've done. Cut out cow's milk entirely, 1 week of laxatives and things have improved a little. Back to 3 meals a day and 2 snacks. But she's still crying out for her bottles. Is this a case of needing time to increase portion size again before reducing milk intake? Or does she cry for milk just out of habit?

Here's what she had today:

Breakfast: 90g of mashed bannana with yoghurt and almond butter , handful of spelt cereal

Snack: Veggie sticks 90ml milk

90ml milk to nap

Lunch: 60g of lentils and carrot mixed with baby rice, 90g Ella's purple pouch

Snack: Veggie sticks, 90ml milk

Dinner: 100g of lentils and carrots with vermecelli pasta, 70g prune pouch

Snack: Alpha bite cereal, 90ml milk

She'll need another 90-180ml to sleep, and will wake up twice and drink another 180-300ml overnight. I don't know if the quantities depend on how hungry she is, or her emotional need for the/dependence on the bottle. I have another follow up with the GP next and he's advised continuing with no cow's milk and the laxative for another week. I'm hoping things continue to improve but would be grateful for the insight and experience of other mums!

Thanks so much if you managed to get this far!

Ok so you have a few things going on here.

Firstly I would look at the ERIC website as it gives some good information on what's healthy regarding pooing and how to deal with constipation.

Then I'd try and swap the formula for a comfort type formula. She may find that easier to digest.

Then I'd look at doing some gentle night weaning. She will eat more when she's used to not having milk at night. This method is aimed at parents with BF babies but the method is easily adaptable.

Do you think there's a chance that your LO could have CMPA? Do they have any of these symptoms?

Thanks so much for your response!

I never suspected an allergy to cow's milk. She was combination fed until 7 months without any issues (I was eating lots of dairy), then when we started weaning, she had yoghurt and I prepared some of her food with cow's milk without issus either. Although from 12 months the quantity of cow's milk increased, so perhaps in such quantities she struggles to digest it.

Just to clarify, she's never had an issue with the formula. All was well with her milk/formula until I started swapping it with cow's milk at 12mos.

Thanks so much for the links, reading them now!

Also, what I've realised is that she's actually taking less milk. I've wstered down her milk a little since 12mos, so in each 90ml bottle she actually has the equivalent formula scoops for a 74ml bottle. So over 24hrs she's actually only taking 590ml (and not 720ml).

Are you introducing meats/fish to your child or is she vegetarian/vegan?
There isn't a lot of protein in the foods you are giving so they won't fill her for long.

She used to eat a lot of meat. Mostly beef mince. But she's not eaten that for about 6 weeks. She never eaten eggs, but has eaten chicken and fish in the past.

I'm hoping to try mince again tomorrow.

I actually think I'm getting too worked up about this. She's in the 91 centile for height and weight, and when she eats well, her bottles are taken mostly at night. So I suspect the issue with her milk intake is more of a sleeping issue primarily? I would have no crippling concerns if it wasn't for the HVs pressuring me into giving her only cow's milk in cup only twice a day!

Ignore the health visitor and do what's best for your child. My son has cmpa and we had him on the special dairy free formula until he was gone past two. He just wouldn't drink any other non dairy milk or non dairy yogurt etc. We eventually transitioned him but the formula did him no harm at all.

I think it's easy to get worked up and like you say she's on the 91st centiles so she's doing fine.

She should be on around 300 ml a day, sone taller babies will have a bit more but she's having almost twice they.

Personally I'd concentrate on stopping the night feeds, maybe using the method I linked to earlier. The No Cry Sleep Solution is good too. I'd try to crack the night feeds before dropping formula and bottles as that sounds like it will have the most benefit for all of you.

As for her food, just keep offering but if she doesn't eat something don't get too worked up about it. If you're trying foods you're not sure she'll eat then you can always put a bit of something you know she'll eat on her plate.

This guide from the Caroline Walker Trust is good as it gives suggested portion sizes and sample menus.

Thanks for your response!

How was he eating from 12 months until 2 years? Did you manage to reduce this milk intake over this time?

His eating was and still is abysmal tbh but he just woke up one day and decided himself around 2 that he didn't want a bottle any more but at that stage he was just on a bottle in the morning and at night . He will eat non dairy yogurt and cheese now and has non dairy milk in cereal.

I really hope this is what happens to my daughter! But I suspect she has an emotional attachment to the bottle, especially at night. It's so difficult, and it's hard to not feel guilty or feel like I've failed her, especially when I see toddlers taking much less milk and not bothered much about their bottles.