9 month old doesn’t really eat

[SnowyMama]

My son is 9.5 months and weaning is really stressing me out. We started at 6 months with purées (BLW has always scared me and I didn’t do it with my first who eats fine) and we did a mixture of fruit and savoury ones. He seemed to hate everything and wouldn’t have more than one mouthful of anything.

I then did try some finger foods knowing full well he would not put any of them in his mouth because he doesn’t put anything in his mouth, i.e. toys, teething toys, bits he finds in the floor etc, he always hated dummies, he doesn’t like things in his mouth. So all he has ever done with finger foods is throw them on the floor.

We are now at a stage where he will happily eat fruit purées but he will eat literally nothing else. We keep offering different things but it’s going nowhere and I am very stressed that I don’t know how to make him even try things.

He is bottle fed and has about 35oz a day. I am aware this is more than what he “should” be having. I offer food before formula but as he just eats nothing other than fruit puree I DO NOT know what I should be doing with his milk. I don’t want him to be hungry and I don’t want him to associate the high chair negatively so I just don’t know how to progress.

Had anyone had anything similar or has any advice please?

I can totally understand that you don't want him to be hungry. That's a very maturely reaction and shows that you care.

But 35 floz is an awful lot for a 9 month old.

Arto give you an idea of what you're aiming for, they should be having roughly 13.5 floz a day at 10 months and then 10 floz of cows milk a day between 12 and 24 months.

Do you think any to give us an idea of what your daily schedule is for food and milk so that we can offer you some ideas of how to tweak it?

Sorry for the spelling mistakes.

How are you getting on today @SnowyMama?

Thank you for your reply @TinyMouseTheatre

The bit I don’t get it is when they give guidance about what a 9 month old ‘should’ be having in terms of milk, is that not in addition to solids? So like if I gave him no solids whatsoever he’s fine to just have 13floz of milk all day? It just seems crazy to me 🙈

In terms of our routine, when he first wakes I give him a bottle. About 1.5hr later I offer him some breakfast, either toast, porridge or a baby porridge pouch. He will eat the pouch but will not eat any toast or normal porridge. I am going to try weetabix tomorrow. Then I tend to give him a bottle at about 10.30 to get him down for a morning nap. At lunchtime I have offered things like pureed veg or a ‘meal’ pouch, he literally despises them all. Then he has an afternoon bottle for an afternoon nap and at tea we have offered similar to at lunch. Last night we tried beans with toast, it was a bit of a disaster as he got very agitated and upset. It’s like he doesn’t understand that it’s supposed to go in his mouth. Then at bedtime he has another bottle.

If it is safe for him to have such a reduced amount of formula while having next to no solids I will reduce it, I just don’t believe he is not eating because he’s not hungry, I think he’s not eating because he cannot cope with any sort of texture and I don’t know how long it’s going to take for that to improve while I’m giving him next to no milk 😓

If you keep giving him that much milk he won't be hungry enough to feel he needs to bother with solids.

The guidance is 13.5 Floz a day at 10 months so I think I would start to reduce his milk intake now.

Still give him the bottles associated with sleep for a while but I'd cut out the first one on the morning and give him breakfast instead.

I know you're worried about him being hungry but he does have to feel hunger sometimes

Don't worry OP, he's fine. Some children are just slow to wean - we had one of those. Don't worry about it or stress him out adding pressure or getting cross/upset. He will be fine in the long run. Keep doing what you're doing offering food 3 times a day, a variety of different things including finger food and purées. He will start to show preferences at some point and he will start eating, but adding pressure won't help and will just make you stressed. Only offer small amounts of things so it's not overwhelming for him e.g a stick of cucumber, a slice of cheese and a small breadstick on a plate, or a small bowl of purée whatever. He can choose what he wants to pick up, it doesn't matter if all he does is play with it.

Our daughter hardly touched anything until we'll past 12 months. She can still be a bit tricky to get food in now at 3.5 yrs but is absolutely fine developmentally. Some of them just aren't very motivated by food.

In terms of milk, 20-25oz is about right for 9 months so he's possibly having a bit more than needed. Perhaps try and gradually cut it down a little bit over the next week or so. It might help stimulate his appetite a bit but equally when they get too hungry they tend to refuse to eat too, so follow his cues and try not to worry.

This guide from the Caroline Walker Trust might be useful too as it gives suggested meal plans, portions sizes and quantities of Formula

No it's not. NHS guidance is 600ml at 9 months which is 21oz.

Sorry should have added that you'll probably need from page 39

No it's not. NHS guidance is 600ml at 9 months which is 21oz

I think it's getting a bit confused. I said from 10 months not 9 and gave it as an example of what the IP is aiming for at 10 months, not what she should be doing now

So do you think you'll try dropping a bottle @SnowyMama?

He will probably protest, like he does now over savoury food but after 3 days having breakfast instead of a bottle will be his new normal.

It's also very normal for them to want sweet foods over savoury but I would try and crack that one a bit later when you've got him eating a bit more.

Just wondering if he has Tongue Tie? My DC1 struggled with anything other than smooth purées until around 12 months and that was because of TT. The symptoms are here

I found (with an almost nine month old) that waiting for them to drink less milk and eat more was rather hit and miss - worked for breastfeeds but not for bottles! I have had to encourage the switch to more solids, less milk. I was mixed feeding and LO really was NOT interested in solids after a 6-7oz bottle, whereas they would happily breastfeed then eat.

At eight months, I switched from breastmilk then breakfast, to breakfast first. Eg this morning I offered weetabix with whole milk which I start off spoon feeding at LO in hungry and can't be bothered with feeding themself, too slow! I also gave some nectarine pieces cut up small, covered in Greek yoghurt. Lots of calcium. Doing food then milk has basically doubled how much breakfast LO is having. This increased solids intake has let us drop a whole bottle in the morning, which in turn increased LO's lunch appetite. My little one is steadily 50th centile and is now on 3x180ml (six scoop) bottles/day, before naps and bed.

While formula remains important, your LO is old enough now that you can try solids before a bottle (or split the bottle feed up either side of breakfast so they are still hungry - health visitor suggested this as an interim tactic). You could give breakfast first a go for a few days and see how your LO finds it?

I went to a HENRY starting solids course the council put on for free. It was fantastic. My 8 month old is eating really well now based on the advice they gave.

based on their advice, I never used a single pouch nor did I puree anything. In the beginning I just boiled or steamed veg until very soft and offered it to him. He mostly refused or wanted to play with it, not put it in his mouth. Several weeks later he started putting the food in his mouth but he’d spit it out because he didn’t know how to move it to the back and swallow. A few weeks later he learnt to swallow. All this time I just kept offering him whatever veg we were having but really overcooked so it was soft, but still textured.

once he started eating that, I very quickly moved to just offering him bits of our meals but made without salt. It took a few goes for him to like some things but now he eats pretty much everything. And I mean everything - meat, beans, lentils, strong cheeses, okra, beetroot, eggs, nut butters, tahini. Whatever. He has some days where he eats more and others where he eats less, I don’t sweat it.

I didn’t offer any fruit until I had established his eating of the other food groups - that was based on the advice I was given. If I want to take a “snack” when out I take a boiled egg, maybe a banana or satsuma, or some real cheese cut into sticks. All of these are cheaper than pouches and not heat-treated long life food stuffs, and they’re still very convenient. Also nutritious.

if I were you, I’d start again using the HENRY starting solids approach. He isn’t going to starve if you ditch the pouches and fruit purees. Kids are so adaptable they really don’t have fixed ideas about things - you just need to be super patient and hold your nerve.

9 month old been solids for while. 2 bottles a day of 8oz. First at 1040 then bedtime. Had problems with bottles from get go. Flipin hands and screaming and refusing it. Now same thing happing with food. I can't afford to keep open pouch after pouch bending food after food. Cooking constantly trying to get something into her. Iv 2yrs old as well to look after. Am single parent no help. H.v fobes me off so do a&e saying I can't cope blah blah. I want to know why baby does this and reason for it. Iv tried everything blend food too smooth making wet wet. Iv heat more cooled it more. Nouting helps.

Hi @Anonymous345is she following her centile curves and is she bright and alert at times? Has any HP said that they are worried about lethargy or slow weight gain or growth?

Forget weaning.

Revisit it in a month or so.

We went through this with DS. The stress of it was awful.

Eventually we realised that some kids don't wean until 12 months and that's normal and ok. Forget all the pressure telling you you should be weaning.

As long as happy, healthy and gaining weight just take a step back. You stressing won't help the situation and your baby will pick up on it.

DS is fine now and is in yr6.

Mine hated any pouch, they really are not nice tasting to be honest. At this age breakfast always went well, other meals more so from around 11m. I wish I'd done more blw to be honest with meat, fish and vegetables as those have taken a while, but looking back i felt anxious about him being hungry - i think its fine for them not to eat much and to play/explore more than eat. Id reduce his milk before breakfast first, then try reducing elsewhere. we did give him our meals which were often "one pot" and he liked them so much more than purees or baby meals, maybe that's worth a try?

At that age, dd2 was eating next to nothing. Total nightmare. Some dc just won’t eat and DD never ate our meals or anything prepared for her. Just kept her mouth shut.

In desperation I sent her to nursery at 2 1/2. After around 4 weeks she started eating as she stayed for lunch. No health visitor or anyone else was any help at all and it was awful. She survived on breast milk and I hated it. My life felt controlled. I tried not breast feeding - HV said go away for the weekend. She refused the bottle - she was looked after by DM and a nanny we knew. She was starving herself so out came boob again. Nightmare. No answer was ever found but nursery worked. I wish she’s gone at 6 months. We might have been saved 2 years of anguish but she screamed at separation too.