Two year old doesn't eat

[MotherOfABoobAddict]

I'm still breastfeeding my DD who will be two next month.

She's never been an amazing eater, but she's been in nursery since she was 8 months old and I've had to go away for work a few times for up to 4 nights at a time, so when I'm not there she will eat if she has no choice.

The problem is she is completely addicted to breastfeeding. At the moment it's really bad. We had successfully managed to cut down to just twice a day but then somehow in the last few weeks she's gone through a sort of regression. She currently has an ear infection and she's also had a vomiting bug and I think her back molars are starting to come through, so she's pretty miserable and just wants to breastfeed the whole time. She will scream and tantrum if I say no. Eventually I give in and then she's not hungry for food and then the vicious cycle continues.

Nobody is sleeping very well because she wakes up hungry in the night and cries until I feed her, then cries again when I try to stop.

She hasn't gained any weight for about 6 months. I don't know how to fix this. Please help.

I'm really not an expert but can you try putting something safe & non toxic but unpleasant on your nipples? And then replacing the breast feed with an enveloping, soothing hug while feeding her solids? Make her feel cocooned & relaxed while she eats.

Hey, firstly you haven’t done anything wrong and this isn’t your fault! She’s still quite young and will get a lot of what she needs from your milk, it adapts as they get older.. increases in protein etc.

But obviously a balance would be better, or stopping totally if that’s what you want! I think with food the key thing is offering and exposing them to foods, so they might not eat the first 10 times they’ve offered but might try it the 11th. Could you try and make some porridge with breast milk to start off with the same taste? Maybe consult a children’s dietitian - there’s a few worth following on insta too.

But really, you’ve given your child an amazing start so don’t feel like you’ve done ‘wrong’. It’s a sortable problem!

Sorry, this was more about weaning from the boob wasn’t it. It’s really hard so don’t feel alone but it is doable.. do you think tapering off or a hard stop would be better for you/her?

If you are ready to stop breastfeeding maybe wait until the child is well and do a couple of early morning feeds then stop completely. It’s a horrible few days and it will be easier if you have help.

She will scream and tantrum if I say no. Eventually I give in and then she's not hungry for food and then the vicious cycle continues.

The trick is to say yes immediately or never say yes. The most effective way to train someone (or a dog ) to do something is random, intermittent reward. You want a dog to sit, you give it a treat the 1st, 6th, 2nd, 10th time it sits. Not every time, not every 3rd time, random but regular. That's why gambling is addictive!

What this means is that if your DD cries, sometimes you give in on the 3rd whine, sometimes the 5th, sometimes the 8th. You are literally training her to tantrum and scream. In the most effective way possible.

If you want to night wean, do. If you want to entirely wean, do. But you need to be absolute in your behaviour. Drop to certain times, never ever go outside those, and drop down until it isn't any. Or just BF when she asks. But don't do what you're doing.

Please don't do this if you haven't a sick child. BFing is about so much more than just providing nutrition.

If she's unwell no decent sleep trainer will say to tackle the situation now I'm afraid, she needs pain relief and comfort.

Both of mine would feed, feed and feed some more when they were ill. It's natural and you e got to trust her to know what she needs right now.

Once she's feeling better, you could try the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers & Preschoolers and some gentle night weaning

Also agree with MrsTerry. There is absolutely no point in refusing if you're going to feed anyway.

If you do want to wean her fully when she's well, you could try weaning at night first and use the don't offer, don't refuse tactic in the day.

Weight wise they don't need as much at this age and seem to survive on very little, their growth really slows down and this is normal to some extent. I would wait until illness is over and molars are through as you would be battling against all that which would make it harder. Once they are done, I'd look at night weaning first and sticking to lessening in the day. The nihht waking could be hunger or could be comfort because she is poorly and uncomfortable and it's the best comfort she knows. To night wean dad had to deal.with night wakes for a week or so. Yes he would cry but he was cuddled and safe and loved, and needed to learn to accept comfort from dad. After a few days he allowed dad to cuddle him back to sleep and we had no more overnight feeds. He still feeds in morning but this doesnt impact his eating. Then he's at nursery all day and I just distract when he's home, don't sit down with him on lap etc. At weekend he occasionally asks and I do give as im not ready to fully wean yet but I try and avoid in the hour before a meal. Eating wise are there foods she will eat or times she will more likely eat?