Struggling to wean from breastfeeding

[MyBoldKoala]

Hi,
Im just wondering if anyone can give some advice on how to stop or cut down on breastfeeding.
I've been exclusively breastfeeding my son for a year now and hoped to move onto cows milk when he turned one and slowly wean from breastfeeding as i have to return to work. He's previously refused bottles but I assumed when I'd be able to provide cows milk through a sippy cup/cup with a straw as he loves drinking his water this way. He has completely refused cows milk. I've tried watering it down, tried formula. I've even pumped breastmilk and given in his water cup and he just spits it out and refuses it.
I've managed to get him down to a morning feed, lunchtime and nightfeed (although he wakes constantly in the night and feeds throughout the night). I need to drop the lunchtime feed to go back to work. Does anyone have any ideas? He gets very upset and aggy if I try and skip the day time feed and refuses sleep. I've tried walks, car trips but he only seems to sleep once fed. I have also cut out feeding him to sleep, but he really seems to need that daytime feed. I would also like to ultimately stop breastfeeding overall. I have a 2 year old as well and I'm completely exhausted with the night feeds. I know he is using me as a dummy but in order to ensure the whole house isn't woken by a screaming baby I just give in and feed him multiple times a night. Any help would be really appreciated. I've called the national breastfeeding helpline but they only seemed to advice that this can be normal and eventually one day he will stop which is quire frustrating. Thank you!

I went cold turkey with the night feeds, offered water and crackers instead, the squeals were awful but only last a couple of nights, it was just one wake/feed..
I comforted myself with the thought they'd get some in the morning and then gradually dropped those too, it was okay in the end..
Try get attachment going to a cuddly toy, usually kicks in very strong about 14/15 months in my opinion and should help a lot..
Also, things like back rubbing during the feed, little things that will be familiar then and associated with sleep when the milk isn't offered..

I wouldn't worry yet about introducing cow's milk. Neither of mine woukd touch the stuff until BFing had stopped completely.

What I would consider is some gentle night weaning.

Nurseries seem a bit magic at getting most babies to sleep so I'd ask them to give him a cup of milk with his lunch, he may or may not take it.

I really wouldn't bother giving yourself the stress I'd introducing bottles or formula at this stage though.

If you night weaned, would you be happy feeding first thing, on pick up and at bedtime?

Thank you so much for your message. We did try my partner going in and rocking him for a few nights but the crying went on for hours. He got so worked up and would wake our 2 year old constantly so I gave in! I probably should have given it a week or so. He was also younger then and we were advised he would need a feed at some point in the night which made it difficult.
I'll definitely try the idea of a comforter! That's definitely worth a go!

Thank you so much for your message. I did want to stop breastfeeding completely just to get a bit of normality again. But I naively just assumed I've be able to replace breastmilk with cows milk. So I would be more than happy to just feed in the morning and evenings, if it meant I can go back to work/get some sleep at night!
Ah great - thank you so much for the article. That actually looks really positive. I'll give this a go over the weekend and hopefully we can get his night feeds sorted out. Thank you again for replying! It's giving me a bit of hope!

Glad I've given you some hope. I'd try the night weaning first.

If you still want to stop after you've got that sorted I'd give him a couple of weeks then get DH to take him straight down for breakfast whilst you get ready.

Then when that feed is dropped and you want to drop the one before bed I usually advise going out for a few evenings at bedtime. I think it took 2 or 3 evenings for both of mine to drop the last feed.

It doesn't matter about replacing his feeds with milk just yet as he'll still be getting enough from you, even if you're only feeding once a day as BF babies at this age tend to take the same amount whether you feed them twice or ten times.

How are you getting on @MyBoldKoala?

So sorry for the late reply!
I was doing well dropping the day feed but I got mastitis which meant I had to continue feeding and feeding more just to relieve the pain. But I've managed to get back to dropping the day feed again this week so hoping it means slowly I'll be able to drop another feed once I've tackled the night feeds!
Weirdly he in turn has stopped waking so often at night. We had about a month of over 5 wakes a night but the last week or so he's been waking 2/3 times which is manageable! I've probably jinxed this now though and he will wake throughout the night! This weekend I'm going to attempt the gentle night weaning! So fingers crossed! And thanks again for all of your help!