Is it me or do many parents (especially first timers) seem to be in a great rush to wean

[MamaMaiasaura]

Despite the DoH and WHO guidelines why does it seem that so many parents are in a hurry to get their babies onto solids? Alot of the time they say there baby was showing allthe classic signs of needing solids but do not seem to have considered that their lo might be teething, having a growth spurt, just be more interested in the world thus exploring more with their mouths and watching more.

Also some mums who i have spoken to about this have said they wished they had held off as now they can see their baby wasnt actually ready and it just caused more stress by weaning early.

It almost feels at times like its a competition and i have to justify why i am not planning on started ds2 on solids till he is 6 months old or there abouts and then i am going the BLW route.

With ds1 i felt i weaned too early, I was pushed to do this by HV and ds1 was a large baby (as is ds2). It went against my instinct but i actually felt that i must be wrong and followed the advice. I regret that now and because of that i think i am more determined to stick to what i instinctively feel and reassured it is backed by WHO. Also holding off just seems logical.

I keep wanting to share my views with other parents in particular first time parents but then think i should keep quiet in case i offend them, but i really believe that it is best to wait. There also seems this big thing of getting them to sleep through as soon as possible, they are little ofr such a short time and will sleep and will eat but why put all the pressure and stress into it?

Sorry just had to let all that out

FRom the perspective of a second time parent you are prob relatively immune to all the pressures you have identified.

But first time mums seem to find the "go with the flow" advice hard to take and are perhaps looking for schedules and routines to give them a sense of control in the choaos that is parenthood.

What other explanation can be given for the popularity of the writings of she-who-may -not-be-named...????

i got lent that book and acutally thought i might try some 'scheduling'.. my content baby was then un-content so i ditched it and followed baby and he is very happy

I dont think first timers get the support with trusting their instinct and are prone to pressures piled on them to say thier dc should be doing x,y,z

I'm a first-timer. And I'm generally quite an instinctive person. I started DD on solids 3 days before her half birthday (so I am one of those who weaned before 6 months...).

Awen you are exactly right: I get "do a,b,c at x,y,z times". Thing is, I'm nearly 30, I can read and I discovered mn whilst pregnant, so when I read that waiting til 6 months is the way to do it, I waited. I agree though that first-timers do get a lot of pressure to do what others say, but we're not all like that - I don't give a monkeys how my mum fed me in the 1970s. Needless to say she thinks I'm doing it all wrong (absolutely everything, but that's a whole other thread.

FWIW I bought a parenting book but have never read it.

So Awen I think you're right - but we are not all like that!

People see it as progress, in all other ways we want our dc to progress early (talk, crawl, walk, hold things in hands, roll over, whatever).

Think of the threads where people complain about babies not taking to solids; this is seen as a 'bad' thing, because it's lack of progress.

I think parents have always been in a rush to wean - moving onto the next step, etc.

My life was simpler when it was milk, milk or milk. Which is why we're taking things very slowly and which is also why people now think our dd is backwards.

Yes, well, we first-timers are all a little bit dim, dontcha know

My DS is five months. He's been teething for two months, on and off, so we're pretty well up to speed on that particular set of symptoms. I also know that babies have growth spurts, and there are some times when you just can't seem to get enough milk into 'em. And yes, I considered both of those alternatives. Also, I know everything goes in his mouth at this age - I had a job on the other day to stop him from weaning himself on a hot cross bun.

I have a five month old baby who has stopped sleeping through after previously being a fantastic sleeper, become fascinated with eating and can sit up unsupported. He feeds really aggressively, and is still hungry afterwards. The worst thing (apart from the lack of sleep) is that I have got to the stage where I can't feed him if I'm eating, because he just pops off and stares at me instead of getting on with it. This is a particular shame, because I've never been one of these people that loves breast feeding, I'm doing it for his sake. One of my consolations is that I get a sit down with a bourbon cream. Not longer!

The books are telling me he needs weaning. the health visitor is telling me he needs weaning, my instincts as a mother are crying out to me that he needs weaning. I'm not bothered about "keeping up with the jonses", I just want to do the right thing for my baby.

I just felt I had to stand up for first time mums who do put a bit of thought into this parenting lark, and are just trying to navigate a pathe through the minefield of guilt...

My HV asked me the other week when DD was just 5 months quite casually 'has she had any solids yet?' and i was a bit . DH is very keen to start as well and keeps trying to feed her smoothie when I'm not looking!

I weaned at five months. I don't think I was in a rush - just desperate. He was waking up on average sixteen times a night. I asked my HV for advice and she said either give him food or leave him to cry. I didn't want to leave him to cry so I gave him a bit of food.

I would do it differently now but at the time I was to exhausted I allowed myself to be seduced by the promise of more sleep. That combined with the food that all said suitable from four months made me think it was ok. Maybe that makes me in idiot - I don't know. I am just a first time mum trying to do her best.

this is interesting because i am just starting DD who's 20 weeks on a few spoons of this and that, but not under pressure from anyone

it's because DD gets soooo hungry - she's big at about 18lb, can sit almost unsupported and seems much more settled with a few spoonfuls of something other than just milk in her

also, milk has never really agreed with her (she was on colief for 4 months), and food seems to be going down well

I wanted to wait until 6 months but actually my instinct said to give her a bit of food, as she can't be having more growth spurts (having just put on 5lb in 7 weeks and jumping from the 50th to the 98th centile)

i'm only giving her a litte bit here and there and hope to progress to BLW in a few weeks. although she's my first, i actually think she's dictating the pace - if she hadn't been so hungry or had shown no interest in food when given it, i would have waited, which is what my original plan was.

maybe i'll look back in years to come and think differently, but so far so good...

Sorry for upsetting first time mums. Am not 'looking down' thinking i know better. Also wasnt trying to say everyone the same. What i was trying to get acorss was that i was pressured by helath professionals, others mums etc that i should wean ds1. Am much more confident with what i feel with ds2. Am not saying that first time mums are stupid I am saying there is often alot of pressure despite the DoH and WHO recommendations.

By actually waiting i find myself almost having to justify myself to other parents as to why we are holding off. Actually i have to find myself justufying as to why i am still bfing too.

lljkk - agree with you about the 'progress' thing. It is a race almost for babys to hit milestones.

Stefka - never meant to imply you are an idiot. Also 5 months is very different from 4 months, and have come across many mums trying even before then! My mum told me that she put cereal in my eldsest sisters bottle at 8 days old! that was 40+ years agao though.

Sanguine - i know it is a minefield and I wasn't gunning for first time mums. We all try and do best

My little love has started waking again and feeding loads. LIke having a newborn again as every 2-3 hours day and night. So he is hungrier atm, but this is growth spurt and am pretty sure it will settle down again. And like clockwork he wakes for food

I agree there is a lot of pressure out there -it's hard to deal with.

Good for you for sticking to what you want to do. I am also having to justify the BF thing now - DS is only six months old!

'salright Awen. Just chucking in my two pence worth . well done for going with you motherly instinct, btw. And you Stefka, well done. I'll still be bf in a month's time, so I'll be joining you with enduring the funny looks. I can't think why on earth people think it's strange to be breast feeding at six months. It's not like babies can sit down to eat steak and chips with a knife and fork, now, is it??