Weaning breastfed toddler 18mo

[Panda34]

Hi, after some help on starting to cut down feeds with view to stop around 2yo please!
Dd currently has 3 feeds a day, (first thing, before nap and before bed), however I really was hoping to cut out the first 2 and just feed before bed. I thought the middle one would be best to start but she went without for a few days and now screams the house down has a meltdown if I try and get her to sleep for her nap with no milk first, how on earth do I go about this? I feel so mean 😭 she doesn't feed to sleep but has milk then when she's done I hold her until she drops off then transfer to cot.

It's not been an issue but now she's a bit older I need to leave her sometimes with her dad or my mum and she won't nap without the milk, just stays awake all day so thought it she doesn't have it day to day it would be more consistent hopefully. I'd like to keep the night time for now and maybe drop that around 2.

I found that dropping the first one was the easiest of I'm honest. DH took them down for breakfast as soon as they woke up.

Could you set up some different sleep associations for her like a favourite teddy abs a piece of music

It will be much easier if Dad is the one leading this. Eg if you want to drop the feed before the nap, Dad gets her to nap whilst you are out of the house. The more he does that the more used to that alternative she will be. It's difficult for the person who usually offers milk to refuse it (from her point of view, for no reason at all) without causing a massive meltdown at this age.

Another option might be to offer her the milk at a different time eg 1 hour before the nap is due? Keep her awake and then when it's naptime you can tell her she's already had her milk, which she might be able to understand a little better. You can then adjust this routine later.

Basically, you (therefore the milk) being present + her expecting but not being able to have the milk + trying to get her sleep, all at the same time isn't going to be very doable.

Good luck xxx

Thanks both of you, perhaps I will try dropping the morning feed first, I think that might be the easiest really as it's not before sleep, I was only thinking of dropping the middle one first so it was more spread out but guess it doesn't really matter!

I like the idea of doing milk an hour or so before the nap, that might be a good shout! The trouble I have with her dad doing the nap is that he's not there in the day in the week and often works away so it's hard for him to consistently do it, and tbh he's not done a nap since she was small and fell asleep easier. I could try it on a weekend though, might help to get her into the new routine for few days at a time