Weaning Troubles - Everyone is getting in my head

[MamaButtersBoy]

This is my first time here so im sorry if someome has already posted something similar im just feeling very lost atm .

I'm starting to feel like im a failing as a mum.
I have started to wean my LB since the last week of June (he turned 7 months in July) and its become too much of a challenge.
My LB will not eat purees let alone finger food. He won't pick up finger food that I put in front of him but will pick up the spoon and put it to his mouth.
Any purees I give him he basically spits out/moves to the front of his mouth.
According to health visitor and family and other mums he should be on 2 meals a day and eating finger foods by now.

I make sure he has a dry nappy and he's had a bottle in good time so he's not so hungry when I sit him down. I make sure he's in a good mood before I put him in the high chair.
I've given him all the iron and green purees. I read the first part of that wean in 15 book.

I've persevered but now he's crying and grumbling as I put him in his chair or even when I put a bib on him. I have tried feeding him without the bib but it gets everywhere and makes such a mess. Sometimes he won't even sit straight in his chair.

What have I done wrong? Is it meant to be this difficult because im being made out that I shouldn't be having this much trouble.

I'm probably not up to date on current guidelines but something on your post I picked up on was re his bottle .
Are you saying you give a bottle first ?
Id say food them milk but as I say I'm maybe not up to date

Just chill out about it. Don't let anyone be get in your head.

Give him a range of spoon food and finger foods at different times and in different places, let him play and explore. Let him see you eat and take food from your plate.

He will get there. He isn't going to be drinking bottles of milk at 18.

If you're getting a bit stressed by it all I'd give him at least a couple of days without offering solids and give time for both of you to relax a little.

It does sound like you're putting a lot of effort on to making sure he's at exactly the right point. I really wouldn't bother. If you have any other DC they just have to slot in with being fed when everyone else is

As a rough guide I'd try to offer solids an hour after his bottle, if he's awake.

So give yourself at least a couple of days, maybe have a read of this guide from the Caroline Walker Trust, then when you're ready to start offering solids again, try something roughly like this:

7 am bottle

8 am Breakfast, maybe mashed banana or ready brek with some strawberries on the side as a finger food.

10 am bottle

12 pm scrambled egg with some halved cherry tomatoes in the side

Then just offer the bottles as you normally would from there.

It gets so much easier soon anyway as LO will get used to eating family meals

My daughter really wasn’t interested in food until she was about 10/11 months. I started just finger foods at 6m and honestly I’m not sure she swallowed more than a few mouthfuls for months and months. Sounds like you’re doing everything right, just keep going but I’d suggest you sit with him and eat what you’re giving him so he can see what to do and that it’s safe. He’ll get there!

Forgot to say, it called "offering solids" because that's all you can do. You can offer food at certain times of the day and in various quantities but it's entire up to your LO whether they eat it or not

Firstly, you’re not failing. But, it sounds to me like you’re putting way too much pressure on weaning. I kept telling myself “food before one is just for fun”, so it doesn’t really matter how much they eat, as their main source of nutrients should be from milk. Try giving him a variety of foods regularly and see it as an opportunity for him to “play” and a chance to get explore new flavours, textures etc.

I make sure he has a dry nappy and he's had a bottle in good time so he's not so hungry when I sit him down
If he’s full from the milk he’s not hungry to be hungry for food. So you could try spacing it out a bit more so he’s actually hungry when you’re offering the food.

But weaning is a process, your job is just to offer the food and playing with it and touching it is still progress even if it isn’t eaten. He’ll get there. Maybe take the pressure off and get some Ella’s pouches or just offer really simple stuff like a banana mashed with a fork? That way it’s not quite so painful if it’s rejected!

I was told offer the Solids about 20-30 mins before you'd normally offer breast/bottle.

(I don't know how it works if you just feed on demand!)

Do you eat at the same time?

My Lo is the same age and she’s only interested in eating if we are. So I try to feed her when we are eating too.

No pressure, I just let her explore finger foods and she eats whatever she wants. If she eats nothing that fine I just praise her anyway and clear it away

Hello

My DS was similar, she ate nothing at all for the first 2 months. It was stressing me out. So I changed my focus to not making separate meals and just giving something appropriate from my plate, and cooking baby friendly meals in the evening. The first evening she ate some puréed dinner. She wasn’t at all interested in any kind of puréed veg but adding garlic, spices etc. to things made her more keen. She still wouldn’t eat breakfast or lunch though. About 2 months later she started to eat some lunch, then a few months later some breakfast. I offered her 2 meals a day though from 8 months and 3 from 10 months.
She only started eating 3 meals a day from 11 months, don’t know if coincidental but it was straight after she had her first day at nursery.