My child is 3.5 and still breastfeeding

[KTTS]

Hi there, I’m reaching out for a bit of support / advice. I’d like my wife to wean our son off breastfeeding. He will sob and whine for 30-60 minutes when he can’t get milk from his mum - in those moments he looks so distraught that I feel it’s not fair on him. It’s as though he is dependent on it. He feeds around 3-4 times a day. My wife disagrees and doesn’t seem to intend weaning but just waiting for him to lose interest (it goes without saying she loves breastfeeding him). But i worry he’s becoming dependent on it. I also don’t want him to be stigmatised at nursery/ school (because he talks about having mummy’s milk). I realise I may come across as an old fashioned dad, but I feel as though my hands are tied - so any words of advice are welcome.

It won't last much longer. Just hang on a bit.

Leave them to it. Your wife and son will stop breastfeeding when they're ready to stop. There's no rule book to say when that should be, and many of the benefits of breastfeeding (for the mother and the child) continue or are amplified the longer breastfeeding continues.
He's not going to be breastfeeding when he's 8 years old.

Your son will self wean when he is ready. My youngest was around 3.5 when he stopped, my middle around 15 months, my eldest was just over 2. It's all normal and biologically age appropriate. One day, he will stop, whether that's because he chooses not to feed or your wife chooses not to. It's not for anyone else to decide tbh. It's ok for him to be dependant on it as he is still so small, even though he may seem "older" he is still just 3 and a half.

Leave them alone. There is nothing harmful about breastfeeding and all children will wean naturally when they are ready. Well done to your wife for going this long, it's not always so easy, and the benefits last beyond the baby stages.

They say the natural weaning age is anything between 3-7 but the later end of that is incredibly rare in this country. The child will naturally lose their ability to breastfeed when their adult teeth emerge and the shape of their jaw changes. I've known quite a few children going longer than 3 years and I've never heard of any negative impact.

He won’t be stigmatised at nursery 🙈 firstly other children may be Bf and secondly kids are too busy playing.
Please don’t tell your wife to stop. It’s her body and up to her. It also has benefits for both of them.
Did you know that Bf for long term massively reduces the risk of ovarian cancer for example?
Be proud of her for doing such a fantastic job for your son.

Youd probably be pretty annoyed if someone told you you couldn’t have something you really liked for no good reason too :)

It's up to your wife, not you.
I nursed one of mine till he was four and a half.

Nobody at his school knew, not that I cared.

Your child won't be stigmatised.

Children vary in the ages they decide to stop, but they always do.

What are you worried about?

I stopped breast feeding around that age although it was really just before bedtime at that stage. I regret it now.

Yes, I regretted stopping one of mine early (at 18 months).

OP you've been supportive of your child being breastfed up till now.
Let him carry on till he's ready to stop. It'll be better for him.

Leave them alone. If he's stigmatised at nursery it's because breastfeeding rates are so low and modern attitudes are the problem! It doesn't mean he should be deprived of something they're happy to do.

Ok thanks everybody. That’s probably the outside perspective I needed. :)

Ok thanks everybody. That’s probably the outside perspective I needed. :)

I breastfed mine until they were about 3. The first one stopped as I was pregnant and she didn't like its taste anymore, the second one we were down to one at nighttime. I had just had enough so I think we did a sticker chart and I sat beside the bed for a while.

But, I felt it was time to finish and tbf she wasn't really bothered.

This.

My eldest stopped at 1, my youngest kept breastfeeding till she was 5. I hadn't intended to keep going that long it was.about what she needed/ wanted.

She's 8 now and still talks about "milky cuddles" as she called them. One unexpected benefit of breastfeeding when she was older is that she can describe what it means to her. And it's very clear its about a lot more than nutrition.

Just yesterday she told me that when she has so many feelings in her body at the same time that it makes her brain too busy and she doesn't have names for all the feelings, that's when she misses milky cuddles.
That they always helped her brain be quiet and made her feel safe, safe, cosy, relaxed and happy.

I didn't always love breastfeeding and older.child, even when it was just once a day or when she was sick... But her description makes it all worthwhile.b