Why won't he use a spoon himself?!!!

[Devilsmommy]

So my DS is 20 months old and since starting weaning I've spoon fed him and then up to now where he loves picking up food himself to eat as long as there's no sauce. Spag BOL is an interesting one 😅 but no matter how many times I try, I just can't get him to use the spoon himself. He can hold it and put it to his mouth to chew on it, teething 🙄, but won't load it himself or even take it pre loaded. I'm out of ideas so please wise mums what do I do?

Maybe he would like a fork so he can stab his food?
(how do you eat spag bol with a spoon?)

@Needmorelego 🤣 no the spag BOL has to be completely desauced and he'll eat each bit of meat, pasta, mushrooms, peppers on his own with his hands. I have tried a fork and it's the exact same. Believe me I'm hoping there's something I'm missing as I feel like I'm going to be feeding him forever 😅

Deconstructed spag bol 😆
I would just keep encouraging him to try - he'll get there!
You can also buy cool cutlery with diggers on them etc which may encourage him. But try not to get stressed about it - he won't let you spoon feed him forever! X

Well as long as the food is getting in I'd leave him to it for now at meal times.
Maybe try some hand/eye coordination games as practice. Something like a magnetic fishing game or similar.
Playdoh is good for cutting and you could use a plastic fork to make patterns so he gets the fork action.

@Cantgetausername87 deconstructed spag BOL is now what I'm going to name that dish forever😆 he has got cutlery with planets and stars on but I find that the spoon seems too big for his mouth even though it's 12+mo cutlery 🤷

@Needmorelego that play dough idea is brilliant, defo give that a try. His coordination is excellent though, like I say he'll put it to his mouth properly and if it had food on he'd get it in but he just won't with food 🤦

When you say you've spoon fed him since he started weaning, do you mean he's only recently started being given the opportunity to give it a go himself? If so, like any skill, it will take time. Scooping food and successfully delivering it into your mouth is a process with a number of steps, each requiring a large amount of coordination and balance. Initially it will be much easier for him to use his hands, so it's no surprise he'll favour that method, but as using a spoon becomes easier the balance will shift. He may also be hoping if he holds out long enough, you will spoon it in again for him! 😬 (They aren't daft!)

We never spoon-fed DCs, but gave them a spoon to hold from the start of weaning with each meal. In the beginning, they spent a lot of time chewing it, using it as a drum stick, dipping and getting disappointed when the food immediately slid off again, and (occasionally) throwing it, but we modelled its use and they eventually cottoned on. It took about 6 months to become competent enough that it was usually favoured over hands.
Your DS just needs time, opportunity, and modelling IMO.

@SkankingWombat no I've been trying for months. He literally just chews it. And if he gets any of the food on his hands he will freak out, that's why I said about the no sauce if he's using his hands. I'll just persevere and hope he gets it 😅