I'm not enjoying weaning :(

[Babyeatsdiddlysquat]

Hi

LO is 8 months next week, been weaning since she was 5.5 months with purees, mashed and some finger foods.

Routine is

7 BF

10.30 BF

12 Chicken/Fish and veg plus fruit

2.30 BF

4.30 Veg then yogurt

7 BF

She hardly eats a thing, perhaps 3 or 4 spoonfuls. Have tried BLW of sorts but she is soooo lazy and will only eat if I put it to her mouth first and hold it. Only thing she will hold herself is breadsticks.

So she still has 4 BFs a day which I know is her main source of nutrition but she is not putting on weight as well as she was before, dropped off birth curve. We don't make an issue out of it, as soon as she stops, we stop but you can't help being a bit concerned.

I'm just a bit lost. I know the mantra' food is fun until they're 1' but it doesn't seem much fun for her or us at the moment!

Any adivce?

Relax. Dd wouldn't eat until she was 11 months, and was having around 9 bfs a day, so I was really fed up with it, but they really will eat when they are ready.

What centile was she on? Dd didn't gain any weight between 5 and about 9 or 10 months iirc (she was very active too), but she was tracking a high centile and simply moved toward the average of 50th.

I would stop putting yourself to all the trouble of doing purees, and just chuck her a bit of veg off your plate until she shows more interest.

My dd was similar- ate 1 ice cube worth of food at lunch and at tea time until she was about 11 months old. She now eats more than I do on some days! (is 2.1).

I know its hard not to worry- I never stopped stressing over it- but bm has all she needs anyway nutritionwise, so unless she starts to actually lose weight, really don't make an issue of it.

Babies have much slower weight gain at this age as well.

I was fed up because I spent so much time preparing food, to see her not eat it.
Thankfully I got in the habit of freezing loads at once, so she can have a really varied diet with not too much effort. She costs me a fortune in food shopping now!

This is what I do - DD2 is 6 months. BF at 7:00pm followed by a good 3 teaspoons of banana porridge or half a weetabix with pureed fruit.
This keeps her going until 11:30am when she is really hungry for lunch - and will have 5-6- cubes of something vegetably and more recently with meat.(No milk at lunchtime feed - just water) 2:45 - small feed then 5:30 lots of solids and some pudding - bath, little play, story
7:00 - big BF (bedtime milk calming down time etc)
She loves her solids - this week anyway. DOn't BF her at 10:30 but give her loads more solids at breakfast to keep her hunger at bay for longer.
Good luck and hope this works for you if you try it

Scoggins,

I had considered that - not giving her milk at 10.30 but she doesn't have breakfast at the moment, I didn't see the point introducing it as she wasn't keen on other meals. So if milk is her main source of nutrition I didn't feel I should cut back on that feed.

She has a full feed - isn't indicating that she doesn't want/need it at all so I would be worried about stopping that 10.30 milk feed. On days when we have missed that feed or are really late giving it she refuses solids at lunchtime unless she has had milk anyway!

She was on 75th centile but has dropped right off that.

It's hard when all the other babies I know are stuffing their faces I just feel like I'm either bf or giving her solids and we don't get much else done during the day!!

She sounds fine - bear in mind that what seems like very little to you is a lot to her. Babies have different sizes of appetite - some have hollow legs and some get by on thin air.

Her stomach is the size of her fist - a few spoonfuls sounds fine.

You're absolutely doing the right thing by stopping when she stops, and not making an issue of it - really, well done, because I know that must be soooooo hard to do.

She's not very interested in food yet, but by offering her a range of foods now, and being relaxed about it, you're doing the right thing.

I'm still unsure as to whether to give breakfast. We have given it occasionally with varying degrees of success which is why I stopped, figured it was easier to get 2 meals sorted before we went to 3. I suppose I shouldn't drop that 1030 feed until she is having 3 good meals a day (whatever a good meal is!!)

I do think having that 1030 means she isn't very hungry at 12 but if I leave lunch any later she is too tired - what a juggling game!

I just really worry about what I'm doing and feel that I have lost sight of what she is telling me. You go from feeding on demand to feeding every 3 hours to feeding every four hours, to dropping the night feeds and then when you start weaning it feels like you are either shoving a boob or food into them all through the day!!!

If she is not eating solids should I offer more bf?

i second scoggins advice. your lo is not going to tuck into lunchtime solids until you cut back/ eliminate the 10.30 BF.

at 28 weeks my LO routine is very similar to the one scoggins has mapped out. I am following she who must not be named book on weaning and it has worked a treat.

My ds2 (14 months) was and is BLW and still bf. He has breast milk whenever he asks, frequently throughout the day and night and still manages to eat 3 good meals and snacks.

Most days he will eat quite a bit but if he doesn't feel liek eating much some days then I don't worry about it. I don't make a fuss about food as I don't want to create any food issues.

My dd is almost 11 months and has hardly any interest in solids at all.

She now point blank refuses anything from a spoon and will try some bits of finger food but hardly anything goes in (i.e. she'll suck cheese spread off bread and then spit the bread out). She has phases where she's sometimes better than others but for the last 2 weeks she's barely eaten anything . She is ff (one at 8 am, 2 pm and 7 pm and more recently, 4 am in the morning). I have tried cutting down amounts but it doesn't seem to encourage her to eat more solids and then she wakes more regularly for food.

She's always been a milk monster and was bf'd 2 hourly day and night until I stopped at 7 months

Sorry - no help at all to you but just wanted you to know you're not alone. I have found weaning by far THE most frustrating bit of parenthood so far. It drives me mad

It doesn't matter if they drop off their curve, as long as they are still gaining weight. This confused me recently, DS dropped off his line and I was worried but the HV pointed out that as long as he is gaining weight, at whatever, centile, then he is consuming enough calories. So sorry you're not enjoying it
As for her being lazy, it is frustrating when they won't do finger foods (as it can buy you some much-needed time with them entertaining themselves with it) but you could look at it that at least she isn't one of those babies who refuse to let you spoon-feed them and for whom you have to constantly think of new ways of inventing a complete meal in finger-food form!

Thank you everyone! Can rely on MNers to boost my confidence!

Am going to attempt re-introducing breakfast tmw and dropping 1030 feed.

It seems lo loves cauliflower cheese so this afternoon will make loads of cheese sauce and she can have that with everything!!

Will let you know how it goes....

She has no teeth yet so finds a lot of finger foods difficult unless she can suck them to death like breadsticks, toast or Organix carrot sticks.

are you sure she finds finger foods difficult without teeth? i know of BLWed babies who didn't get teeth until they were 11 months... didn't stop them. the teeth are there, they're just under the gum.

Yes Descartes I am sure. She has choked very badly on finger foods that she can't chew on very well. I know her gums are hard and that helps but at the moment it does seem that she can only tolerate finger foods that disintegrate in her mouth.

Choking puts her right off and it's game over once that happens!

what are you giving her? veg should be steamed until it's pretty much of a consistency that it can be crushed against the roof of your mouth with your tongue, as that's pretty much what she's doing. big bread crusts and toast are good, and i always found fruit like peaches and apricots etc useful as well as they smush them and leave the skin. you're super-duper sure that she chokes rather than gags?

DD (7months) has days where she eats for Englan, and days when she lives on fresh air - at least your DD is still having breast feeds, DD is a dreadful feeder, and always has been.

Personally, I would drop the 10.30 feed so she is hungrier at lunch time, if she doesn't eat well at lunch then, she will make it up at her 2.30 feed.

My LO was about 8 months when I dropped the 1030 feed too - if she moaned around this time I offered her a rice cake or piece of fruit.
The other thing is - have you tried offering her food, feeding her, when other children are also eating? This seemed to work wonders with my dd; she always wanted to eat when she saw other children eating.

Other than that, I think it sounds like you;re doing really well. I went through something similar with my dd and I'm afraid to say I didn't remain very calm about it - lots of tears (both mine and hers) which I regret. Hasn't really got that much better with the pureed stuff, but she's ace at eating finger foods now (practice makes perfect).

Organix do nice soft rusks. Dd likes toasted hot x buns - she's only got 2 teeth, and she just sucks it to death. when she first started she wasn't too sure, but now she eats more than she drops.

Persevere, you 'll be fine.

We used to have tears too, with DS, and he is a really fussy eater nnow (though he just has eaten Chicken peach peper casserole with DD - I think seeing her eating encourages HIM too!!)

I'm not sure I would drop a breast feed tbh. Milk has far more calories than whatever she would eat, and most of her nutrition should still be coming from milk at this age.

She will get used to the finger foods with practice, keep offering them to her. It is stressful but it is still early days so try not to get too worked up by it. DD is 9 months and only just got teeth, but she is BLWed and eats all kinds of things, risotto, curry (mostly the rice and sauce), pasta, fruit. Do whatever works for the both of you but just give it time. I defo wouldn't recommend dropping a feed though if she is not eating very well.

me neither, bumper.

I'm having real problems trying to get my DS to eat anything at the mo, and am also getting v stressed about this as i have a DD who is 2.5yrs and v fussy with food so was hoping not to have the same with DS. He seems to like finger food so offer anything and everything but not much gets eaten! He doesn't like being spoon fed which is a real pain! He's 6.5 mths so i know milk is his main source of nutrition but he's not too keen on this either at the mo, i think he managed about 14oz all day yesterday, which i know is something but i stress its not enough - he seems well enough although it does affect his sleep!!! its quite comforting to see that i'm not the only one in this boat though.

There is an argument though, that whilst Bmilk may contain more calories, it does so in a larger volume - and that babies begin to need more calories in a smaller volume - hence weaning.

but what are you suggesting weaning with, shrinking? rice? carrots? do you have any literature for your theory, i'd be interested in seeing it.

I don't have the research - but in pure volume it is eventually hard for a baby to obtain all its calories through milk. I'm not saying wean early -

I'm not deliberately being contentious (although my earlier post may have seemed so) - but at 8 months, 4 b/f MIGHT be putting the baby off her food. If she eats more at lunch, she may still increase her later feeds, and therefore make up the loss.

You don't see many 12 month olds on 4 b/f a day, so there has to be a gradual change over from b/f to eating food.

Perhaps a better suggestion would be to DECREASE the 10.30 feed, and therefore if it makes no difference to what the baby eats, you could more easily increase it again.