Is BLW the best way to wean

[learningallthetime]

Before reading this forum today I hadn't even heard of BLW, I had armed myself with the Annabel Karmel books and was online to buy a hand blender when I discovered mumsnet.

Now I'm seriosly considering BLW, can anyone tell me if this is now considered the best way forward, has anyone had any bad experiences of BLW?

My daugher is 18 wks and I was going to start weaning at 20wks, do I have to wait till shes 6 months if I start BLW?

Where can I find out info on it (i.e how do you start, what foods etc)?

P.S What does DD and DS stand for?

For people who are adamant that they are going to do BLW some will get distressed watching their child gag because they don't understand the difference between a gag and a choke and when they gag, spit it out and put it straight back in... and some will struggle with the idea of a child being older or younger when they start.

From the comments I've seen around on different forums they are the three main reasons that someone will stop doing BLW or change their mind.

also a lot of nervous blwers seem to bottle it because they don't think their baby is eating enough in quantity. it's hard when you're alongside mum friends who are spoon feeding whole bowl fulls of things while your dc waves a carrot around.

ruddynorah you are so right. I was feeling a bit sensitive yesterday and friends with older babies (dd2 is 7 months) were just (in quite a negative way) at dd2 happily munching a humzinger stick and soft rusk. She even gagged (unnoticed by them as they were shuddering with shock at the way she just grabs at the food!)

With the gagging I just make sure she is upright and calmly murmur encouragement - tis worse I think if you panic. As so many others have said, the gagging seems to bring up a little bit of saliva and this solves the temporary blip with whatever is in their mouth.

Whatever approach you use (mixed in this house), at some point you have to get them used to lumps, unless you give purees until they leave home.

Aha I see, thanks for clarifying that for me . Well the I'm already considered to be a bit of a weirdo for bfeeding so I am expecting some comments from the in-laws , of course DS guaranteed to gag whenever they are around!

I didn't BLW, as I bottled it, but sometimes I wish I had.

I waited till 6 months, DS couldn't stand baby rice, but happily chewed on a bit of banana on day. So far, so good.

Then I gave him a bit of cooked carrot from my roast dinner, he took a bite, gagged and promptly threw up his entire milk feed, and burst into tears.

So then I spoon fed him some vegetable mush which he scoffed down, so I tended to stick to mush after that, although I did give him some very soft finger food, like banana or mango.

He's nearly 17 months now, and eats a good variety of foods. He's quite lazy about feeding himself and would rather be spoon fed, though this is slowly changing. I wonder if he'd be different if I'd stuck with the BLW, but at the end of the day I've ended up with a happy child who eats a good variety of (non mushy) foods, so what does it matter!!

Nothing against BLW or whatever you chose to do but we started weaning dd1 the Annabel Karmel way (eg baby rice, then pureed veg and fruit until 6months, then onto chunkier stuff, meat etc) from 4 months and she is now at 2.6 years old the best eater of any of her contemporaries.

I think do what suits you and the baby, perhaps a bit of experimentaion is best. But don't be put off the "traditional" ways just because lots of people on MN say otherwise.

I plan to BLW this time, but I also plan to have some mush and do a bit of spoon feeding AKA Lottie88
I did not know about Aitch's BLW with Ds(4.3) - he had mush, then lumps, and was wolfing down proper food really quickly, and even now there is nothing that the gannet won't eat - that kid eats for england and will eat ANYTHING.
I take no credit for any of this, it is all just luck.
Just see how you go, and don't tie yorself up in knots, for gods sake !!

Interesting about comments from the in laws sarahloumadam. I expected a few raised eyebrows myself but actually both my in laws and my parents have been really really impressed by BLW and the sight of DS tucking into normal dinner, flinging broccoli to the dog and waving green beans around his head like a lasso. My mum was proudly showing off photos of DS eating asparagus at the age of 7 months to her mates - there were no negative comments at all.

I think there might have been a few if I'd discussed it with them beforehand possibly, but we just got on with it.

Just to add also with the gagging - DS does occasionally, but best not to panic as has been said. I just maintain eye contact and talk reassuringly to him, he's fine and once he's sorted himself he carries on immediately - I certainly don't whip him out of his chair in a panic, although I can understand when it first happens people being tempted to do so.

BLW doesn't work for all babies but it sure sounds a lot less hassle even if it is a bit messier.

After a couple of attempts ds2 flatly refused to feed himself the blw way as he gagged a lot and brought back previous milk feeds which are not pleasant when they've been inside his system for an hour or so.

I resorted to just mashing up/blending whatever we were having, but with a careful eye on salt content and foods to be avoided for the very young and he loves his food just as much as his big brother who did AK rice/puree method from the start.

I personally wouldn't worry about it, just take it slowly whichever way you try and don't get stuck in a rut with foods that you know that they will eat as I think you sometime have to offer new foods many times over before they accept them.

Sorry for hijack, but quick question to FLOWERYBEANBAG and ONEPIECEOFLOLLIPOP - why do you talk reassuringly to dcs when gagging? I can understand maintaining eye contact, but I would've thought talking to them would be a distraction from their efforts at trying to bring food back up?
When my dd gagged, I used to do everything I could to remain calm and restrain myself from pulling her out of highchair and turning her upside down but I never talked to her (just prayed in my heart she wouldn't choke.)
BTW - she never gags anymore, but just curious to know for my next dc (when and if I conceive!)

Gina, not a deliberate decision but I just tend to say something like 'ok, all right then, ok, it's all fine' in a calming soothing voice.

It doesn't distract him from the process (which I think isn't something he has to think about particularly anyway), but I suppose the instinct was to distract from any potential distress, make him think this is perfectly fine.

Good advice I will try BLW and see what happens. You are right Flowerybeanbag, if I just get on with it the ILs will probably not even notice the difference especially as you wait longer these days to wean.

Gina I think it's often for the adult more than the child reassuring themself that there is nothing wrong!

I don't agree that BLW doesn't suit every baby, I believe it doesn't suit every parent. If a baby is going to be a late starter some parents don't like that idea and will decide not to do BLW because it looks like their LO isn't going to ever eat. On the other hand some babies are ready sooner and the parents don't think BLW suits a child so young so they go with the purees. You also have parents that get so upset by gagging that they decide not to go with BLW. The very nature of it means that it will suit all babies but it's just as important that the parents do what they feel comfortable with and what's right for them.

Disagree Tinkerbelle

Some babies/children can gag and nothing much else happens. I have no problem with understanding the gagging reflex and not being frightened by it. For other babies/children gagging leads to vomitting and puts them off trying solid food.

ds2 was hardly spoonfed for any time at all before he wanted to be in charge of the spoon. It was messy as hell, trust me, blw would have suited me much better as I hate cleaning. He is one of those children who punches above his weight and wants to do what he sees his big brother doing so once we got onto weaning he dictated the way forward in his own way. I was, to a certain extent, led by him (baby led the way even if we aren't supposed to call what we did baby led weaning because we used spoons and mashed up/pureed food).

i think that is baby-led, though, while not being 'BLW' if you get the distinction. some kids do seem to have really strong gag reflexes, it must frighten some of them imo. even if it had no effect whatsoever on dd and she would unfailingly put whatever it was right back in her mouth...

My ds baby led weaned herself by nicking food from my plate. She is currently loving grated apple and carrot. I fed my first mush and to be honest with ds2 it is just too much fuss to even consider blending everything. We will see though...

I couldn't be doing with all that blending mushing pureeing crap - BLWing is easier if you're lazy like me, IMO. I love the fact that I can actually eat my food while it's still hot and don't have to sit there shoveling food into the DD.

Most people I speak to seem to combine spoon feeding with finger foods.
I usually offer ds both mush and finger foods and he chooses what he wants to eat. Sometimes he'll throw the food on the floor and just sit there with his mouth open waiting for the spoon; other times he's too busy playing with his finger foods and turns his nose up at mush!
I think you should choose whatever weaning method suits you and your child but IMO its good for them to learn how to feed themselves and experience a variety of textures.

we are doing blw too and loving it! Agree with Jemjabella it is definately better if you are a bit lazy! So easy to just pop food in front of her and let her get on with it..
you definately have to be relaxed about mess and about how much they are eating but if you can do then I would definately recommend it!

no time to read thread, but for some people (me) it's the best, for others it isn't. why not give it a try, see what you think and go from there? it's not like you have to remove all spoons from the house (quite the opposite, both mine had a go with spoons from a very early age...)

BLW was definitely the best way for us.

But I think with all parenting choices, it's a very personal thing. You're the one that's got to do it, so you just need to think about what's right for you, not for anyone else.

As soon as I read about BLW, I knew it was for us. A relaxed, inclusive way of introducing food to my baby?? Sign me up!

And I'm so glad I found out about it.

Listening to friends talking about being on "Week 4" of weaning and therefore introducing Lunch and avocados, made no sense to me whatsoever. The more I hear about Annabel Karmel, the more I want to poke her in the eye with a wooden spoon.

People have told me that babies can't have herbs or spices til they are 9 months, or seafood until they are a year, that they don't like strong flavours, and should only be given mild cheese All because flamin' AK says so?! Bog off!

That said, you have to have the right mentality to BLW. You have to be prepared for some a lot of mess, some gagging, some bringing back up of food, for the fact that baby won't suddenly be eating 3 meals a day, that you have to sit back with a cup of tea and just watch.

I have personally found BLW a bit stressful, although I decided to try it because I thought it would be easy. DS (9 months) eats very little and for the first couple of months I was always thinking "If I'd weaned him traditionally he would be wolfing down a big pot of food like the other babies and then eating some bread. Instead of just nibbling on the bread and then throwing it to one side." We always eat after he's gone to bed and it is often ready meals/salty food, so I felt guilty that I wasn't giving him sufficiently exciting food, and spent loads of time thinking about what to give him next (plus shopping, preparing, washing up...). Also jealous of all the people who post about their 6 month old eating chilli con carne and spaghetti bolognese.

Trying purees (ready-made and home-made) as well and seeing him be equally fussy with those has helped me chill out and makes me think that even if I'd done traditional weaning he'd probably still prefer milk to solids at this stage. He has definitely had fun playing with his food over the last 3-4 months even if he's eaten very little...

Out of pure curiosity..... if your baby has led the way with weaning and is used to scooping everything up manually, how do you make the transition to a knife and fork? The transition from soft spoon to spoon and fork to knife and fork is quite a natural one but I'd have thought introducing cutlery could be quite difficult if a child has no experience of even a spoon

ah no, you see i find the whole 'transition to self-feeding must be easier when child has been fed by parent' highly counter-intuitive.

on the one hand, you are teaching your child to receive food via a spoon, so they are familiar with spoons.

on the other, you are teaching your child to feed themselves, so they are familiar with feeding themselves.

which is harder to introduce - the idea of self-feeding to a child used to being fed, or a simple tool (in our case a fork) which makes pre-existing self-feeding more stabbingly fun?

both of mine took to cutlery from day dot, pretty much, because they wanted to copy us. but yes, absolutely, if they were hungry they used their hands for speed. both were using cutlery with great facility by about sixteen months.

The method I used was to give the baby a spoon at the same time as feeding them myself. Start with baby getting used to holding a spoon. Then Mum loads up the spoon for child to deliver to mouth. Child progresses to loading his own spoon and feeding himself very quickly that way.

Just think that 'using hands for speed' will be the default setting for a lot of babies because it's lazy and that could be a tough habit to break as they get older. Teachers already complain that too many children arrive at nursery and reception unable to manage a knife and fork. Doesn't BLW risk making that worse?