What age did your lo start feeding themselves with a spoon?

[ceebee74]

My DS was 12 months when he point blank refused to let us feed him anymore - he is now 20 months and quite accomplished with a spoon and fork (not let him near a knife just yet ).

However, I was recently talking to am acquaintance who has a DS a month older than my DS (so 21 months now) and she doesn't let him feed himself as it (a) takes too long and (b) makes a mess so she still spoon feeds him - surely a 21 month old should be feeding himself?

DS1 was about 14 months when he started doing it himself.
DS2 was about 16 months.. he now uses spoon and fork without assistance, occasionally uses his hands but if you say what about your spoon he picks his spoon up again. (he is nearly 18 months)
No idea about average ages for this kind of stuff.

Wow, and to think I was fretting a bit because mine shows no interest in spoons etc at 18 months! I reckon it's a bit odd to deliberately not let your child feed him or herself. My daughter rejected spoons at 8 or 9 months and feeds herself perfectly adequately with her fingers. She can use a spoon or fork if I load it for her but can't be bothered to do it herself. She has a couple of half-hearted attempts and gives up. I just reason that she'll get there in the end and there's plenty of time to learn about table manners and not making a mess. She quite likes the mess, tbh. If she's likely to really make a mess I just change her clothes afterwards. I wouldn't stop her feeding herself just because of the mess. Making a mess is probably (I think) how they learn not to make one, IYSWIM.

MMJ - wow 8 months! I thought Ds was early at 12 months

Lucicle - I agree that it seems a bit odd that she deliberately feeds him but I guess if he goes along with it, then he is happy and it is not my place to interfere. Tbh, there is no way my DS would let me feed him - as I say, from 12 months old, it was pretty much 'nah' accompanied with his head turned away

My daughter wasn't feeding herself with cutlery by 21 months - and there was nothing odd about it. It was no big deal in the grand old scheme of things.

She just didn't have the co-ordination to use a spoon ... could sort bricks into shapes and colours, could talk the hind leg off a donkey - just wasn't as quick to pick up using cutlery. It made her upset to try, so it was a much more pleasant experience to feed her than it was to watch her screaming and struggling. Plus she was a big fan of finger foods so it wasn't as if she was starving for want of using a spoon.

The HV started making mutterings at her 21 month check so I know she wasn't using them competently by then - she got us to use a fork instead of a spoon, and slowly she got to grips with it. She was nearer to three than two and a half before she was confidently, and competently, using knife, fork and spoon.

I honestly can't see why it matters in the long run.

Just started at 14months - he showed no interest in grabbing the spoon so I was shocked when I gave him one and he just started shovelling the food in like it was the most natural thing in the world

Wigwambam - I appreciate that it is not easy for some children but my point is that my friend just doesn't allow her Ds to even try as in her words 'if I feed him, he eats the lot in 15 minutes, if I let him do it himself, it takes at least half an hour and most of it ends up on the floor' - to me, she doesn't give him the opportunity to try.

8 months is amazing! What a clever boy!

I think my daughter is probably a bit behind in this particular area but like WigWam's daughter, she chats away all day and can do all kinds of other things. I guess they just learn when they are ready.

I suppose the thing about deliberately stopping a child from doing it for themselves seems more worrying because they are never going to just one day pick up a spoon and have perfect table manners, are they? Surely you have to have the messy stage while they learn how to do it? Or is that just mine...

mine tries to get the spoon off you (8months) when feeding, and sometimes there's still food left on it when she gets it into her mouth ... but I wouldn't call it 'feeding herself'

he turned 11m on Thursday and celebrated by shaking his head 'no' when I tried spooning his yoghurt in, but 'yes' when I tried to take spoon away. so I put it down and told him to put it in his mouth, and he did. eventually

Never

Needed a fork

My dd will not let me put a spoon in her mouth, I put the food on it and she then holds it and puts it in her mouth, she is 6 months old I do mostly baby lead weaning as I got too stressed trying to feed her myself. It takes a long time to feed her as sometimes she will not take the spoon back out of her mouth and thinks that is really funny. I agree with you ceebee74 but I am on maternity leave and don't have to be anywhere to rush things.

ds is 5 months (but was 2 months early so 3 months corrected) am just starting him on solids and today i let him have the spoon he loved putting it in his mouth and licking it....he thought it was hilarious......he ate loads more than yesterday tho and seemed much happier getting involved....altho his entire face ended up covered lol

ceebee74: I agree that your acquaintance ought to be giving her ds a chance to feed himself - they could each have a spoon to help speed things along. But then dd (21 mths) would never have let me get away with not giving her a spoon, and a fork, and my fork, and dp's fork... I do win on the carving knife argument. I think dd was less than a year when she actually started to manage to get food into her mouth with a spoon. But she still asks for help when the plate's getting empty as it becomes a bit of chasing game for her; and she still often resorts to fingers (normally for speed when she's really hungry or especially impressed by my culinary efforts). I don't currently stop her using her fingers; just happy to see her enjoying her food. Have to say I found weaning the most stressful part of babyhood.