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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

Original poster

17 month old not self feeding

4 replies

tia2021 · 18/05/2023 22:12

Please someone help me!

So my 17 month old DD can feed herself snacks however dinners I just can't get her to self feed! She will pick it up and play with it rather than eat!

I get super worried as I don't want her to starve but I'm doing her no favours by doing it for her!

My only ideas are is to start sitting with her at the table when I eat and hope that encourages her?

Any ideas please I feel like an awful mum when I see other kiddos her age eating full meals themselves

OP posts:
Hugasauras · 18/05/2023 22:23

I'd just let her do it and then clear it away. She's not going to go hungry with a couple of skipped meals if she's eating snacks fine. I would imagine that she knows that you'll feed her if she just plays about with it, so I'd just let her do what she wants with it and then clear it away after a certain amount of time and continue with the day. If she gets annoyed or hangry soon after, back in the high chair and give her some food again. My DD2 is 11mo and has been eating totally by herself (messily!) for a few months, but that's because with two I didn't really want to spend my mealtimes feeding her as well as eating my own meals, interacting with DD1, etc. so she's just self-fed from the start.

Do you all eat together at all? We've always made sure that most evening meals are something we all eat together, even if it means we eat a bit earlier than we would have pre-kids, because I think it's an important thing for babies and young children to see people eating and be part of mealtimes.

WTF475878237NC · 18/05/2023 22:28

My only ideas are is to start sitting with her at the table when I eat and hope that encourages her?

^ if she's never self fed and you've never actually sat with her for meals then the two are probably linked. Sitting at the table observing meal times and your own cutlery/fine motor skills is how they learn. So if she isn't seeing you do it, she won't do it (of course she will eventually but will be delayed). All the guidance on weaning says to sit them in a highchair and watch you eat, then when you start offering them food, eat with them (even if you eat different food or are not doing baby led).

Original poster
tia2021 · 19/05/2023 08:02

WTF475878237NC · 18/05/2023 22:28

My only ideas are is to start sitting with her at the table when I eat and hope that encourages her?

^ if she's never self fed and you've never actually sat with her for meals then the two are probably linked. Sitting at the table observing meal times and your own cutlery/fine motor skills is how they learn. So if she isn't seeing you do it, she won't do it (of course she will eventually but will be delayed). All the guidance on weaning says to sit them in a highchair and watch you eat, then when you start offering them food, eat with them (even if you eat different food or are not doing baby led).

Exactly and I feel awful for not even thinking of this as a solution. I think I've been so caught up in trying to get everything done that perhaps that time could have been worthwhile for moving her forward!

She's hit every other milestone "early" so it's just this part I need to get moving forward so Thankyou!

OP posts:
Vittoria123 · 21/06/2024 07:26

tia2021 · 19/05/2023 08:02

Exactly and I feel awful for not even thinking of this as a solution. I think I've been so caught up in trying to get everything done that perhaps that time could have been worthwhile for moving her forward!

She's hit every other milestone "early" so it's just this part I need to get moving forward so Thankyou!

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Hi 👋
same situation here with my DD . Have you seen any improvements ?
☺️

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